The Hot Chick Page #4

Yeah, you're pretty|good-looking, oh, yeah

[ Girls screaming ]

You're pretty good-looking,|oh, yeah

For a girl

What?

Nothing. [ Giggles ]

You just look good.

[ Chuckles ]

Really?

Yeah.

[ Both giggle ]

Okay. Thanks.

[ Laughs ]

No, she's not gonna...

No, he...|she's not gonna do it.

Yes, she is.

Mmm...

Mmm, mmm...

[ Smacks lips ]

Mmm...

[ Slurping ]

Wow!

That is so good.

T- That's $8.95.

What?

Aren't you just gonna take it|out of your tip jar?

Aah!

- [ Choking ] $8.95?|- Yeah.

I got that.

[ Rock music plays,|indistinct conversations ]

When I rock like this

Rock like this,|rock like this

When I rock like this

When I rock like this,|it's rhythm

When I rock like this

Rock like this,|rock like this

When I rock like this

When I rock like this,|it's rhythm

I'll take|two banana daiquiris,

one mango, a sloe-gin fizz,|one slippery nipple,

and for me,

a screaming orgasm on the beach|with extra sugar on the rim.

Yum!

[ Deep voice ] Uh...better|make that last one a brewski.

When I rock like this

Rock like this

Double brewski.

[ Lyric's "Young & Sexy" plays ]

Young, sexy

[ High-pitched ]|They didn't even card me.

It's just like Cabo.

[ Laughter ]

You know|I'll change for you

With your black Durag

How does a butt plug like that|get all those hot chicks?

I got dibs on the dots.

...got plans for you

God damn!

Ooh, he's cute.

Check out the sweet buns|on that guy.

I'd like to get|my hands on those and...

[ Deep voice ] wish|they were women's breasts

and...squeeze the hell|out of 'em.

Maybe put a steak on 'em...

'cause I'm a guy.

That's what guys like me|like to do.

But I don't need|to tell "you" that.

[ Inhales sharply ]

Bianca.

Yeah

Ohh

I'll show her.

This is "my" song.

Ohh

Remember,|the scorpion on her back.

I'll find it.

24 a day, 7 days a week

Now, when you're driving|in your 4x4

And you turn this up|on your stereo

Whether night or day,|nonstop, you'll play

And you know|you still want more

So find a honey|that's standing on the wall

All the girls|get the guys on the floor

Ah!

From the front to the back,|let's go

Hear this

Ew!

Somebody hit the lights

So we can rock it|day and night

APRIL:
The tattoo!

I don't see it!

From a. m. to p. m.

Everybody lookin' like stars

All the chicks and the fellas|in the bars

All of y'all bumpin' this|in your cars

Right hand, red.

Ooh...left hand, blue.

Ooh!

Huh! Ha!

Aaaaaah!

Yeah

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Introduction to Mystikal's|"Shake It Fast" plays ]

[ All cheering ]

Shake it fast,|watch yourself

Shake it fast, show me|what you're working with

Shake it fast,|watch yourself

Shake it fast, show me|what you're working with

Shake it fast,|watch yourself

Shake it fast, show me|what you're working with

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Laughs ]

It's definitely not her.

Don't worry.|We'll figure this out.

You're a great dancer.

You're just noticing that now?

[ Laughter ]

I gotta hit|the little girls' room

before I soak my panties.

[ Slurping ]

Um...

[ Deep voice ]|By that, I mean...

my girlfriend's panties...

which I carry with me...

to pee in...

if I don't make it in time...

to the bathroom.

What?

You don't pee in your|girlfriend's panties?

What kind of gay club|is this?

Hey, everybody,|check out this guy...

not peeing in his|chick's panties.

[ High-pitched ]|Excuse me...

do you have to be|in here for this?

Well, it's part of|my job description,

but if you're one|of those shy guys,

you try that stall there.

[ Fart ]

Uh...there's someone|in there.

And they're gonna be in there|for a long time, too.

I told him to stay away|from the calamari.

[ Farting continues ]

Some folks think they can eat|anything that crawls.

Would you mind?

[ Sighs ]

Ooh! Ah!

Ooh, hoo!

[ Gasping ]

Excuse me?

Why is there ice in there?

Ooh!|I wouldn't have done that.

[ Door hinges squeak ]

Oh!

[ Urinating ]

You're good at that.

You make it look so easy.

Why don't you just|take a picture?

[ Sighs ] All right.

Here goes.

Disgusting! Wrinkly! Gross!

Ew!

- [ Urinating ]|- Oh!

Oh! I've never|done this before.

It's going all over.

It's always good|to aim at something,

like that cigarette there...|or the big mint.

It's going everywhere!

You got to hold on to it.

Not too tight, but enough to|let it know you're the boss.

[ Breathing heavily ]

Oh!

See that fly?

Aim for it.

That's... that's helping.

That's it.

Remember, if you shake it|more than twice,

you're playing with it.

[ Belt buckle jingles ]

[ Sighs deeply ]

I don't know how I could|ever thank you.

[ Dance music plays,|indistinct conversations ]

Hi!

Hi!

"Th"a"t" was an experience.

Here's your drink.

Is there any ice in here?

No.

Thank God!

Hey...aren't you that chick

who's having sex|with that college guy?

No!

Wanna be?

[ Laughter ]

She's not interested, okay?

So why don't you just back off?

Okay, Grandpa.

What are you, their pimp,|and these are your skank hoes?

[ Both gasping ]

You and me, right now...|let's go.

Where we going?

[ Moans ]

- Aah!|- No!

[ Indistinct conversations|continue, rock music plays ]

Jess!

[ Knuckles cracking ]

- Come on, Jess. Come on!|- You can do it.

What do you got, geezer?|Come on!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

You can do it! Come on!

Show me what you got!

Come on!

[ Air whistling ]

What the...

What's he doing?

Some kind of Tae-Queer-Do.

[ Girls screaming ]

That's it!

ALL:
Oh!

No! Aaah!

Ohh!

ALL:
Ohh!

Ohh!

Ohh!

[ Indistinct shouting|continues ]

Aah!

Ohh!

Ha ha!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Jess!

Oh!

- Ooh, yeah!|- Yeah!

[ Guys cheering ]

That really "does" hurt.

Thanks for sticking up for me.

Now go kick some ass.

[ Rock music continues ]

Aah! Oh!

[ Indistinct shouting|continues ]

Ohhh!

Ohhh!

[ Rip ]

Aah!

Oh!

You think you're so cool 'cause|you can pee with your penis.

Get a new conditioner.

Your ends are totally split.

[ Whimpers ]

[ All laughing ]

You rock!

April, I don't know.

Oh, come on. This is the only|way you can be in school.

[ Inhales sharply ]|Here comes Jake.

- Hi!|- Hey, baby.

[ Giggles ]

So, skiing sucked.

I mean, you didn't miss a thing.|It was all mushed out.

Oh...

[ Giggles ]

What's with the scarf?

It's kinda chilly in here.

[ Shivers ]

[ Clears throat ]

[ Gasps ]

Ski rash.

So, I'm gonna...|[ Clears throat ]

I better... I'm gonna|go to class, so...all right.

[ Laughs ]

April, I am so sorry.

[ Voice breaking ] He didn't|even ask me to the prom.

Jake and I are "so" over.

Okay...[ Chuckles ]

Now, you get in there.

[ Inhales sharply ]

And remember...|your name is Spence.

I must tell you...Spence,|uh, there a"re" applicants

who actually have|prior janitorial experience.

Your hair...

it has such bounce.

Oh, it's this new cream ri...

Um, anyway,|a- as I was saying,

you haven't really|provided me with...

Look, uh...|[ Exhales sharply ]

Uh, I'll be honest with you.

I'm a struggling musician.

Ever since my days|playing the tuba

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes