The Hot Chick Page #6

- Carol!|- [ Gasps ]

How could you?!|In my own house?!

"Senor"...

And you, Taquito...|we were supposed to be amigos!

- The loofah for the scrubbing.|- Get out!

"Senor," is for the...|the bath. I was...

- Shut up-o.|- I was scrubbing.

- Out!|- "Senor... "

Richie, Richie...

[ Sighs ] Really, i-it's...|it's not what you think.

[ Sighs ]

It's my own fault.

Oh, Daddy!

Mmm! Oh!

- [ Water splashes ]|- Oh! Oh, Daddy!

Look at all these earrings.

It's hopeless.

I'm sorry.

[ Sighs ]

The prom's in three days.

Forget about|the cheer competition.

[ Sighs deeply ]

I had it all.

And I never really|appreciated it.

I took everybody for granted.

Oh, and today, my dad walked in|on me and my mom in the tub.

I think I may have|lost my job as gardener.

[ Sighs ]

You know, I'm kinda|sorry to say this,

but...this has been|really fun.

[ Giggling ]

[ Laughing ]

Yeah, right.

[ Telephone rings,|answering machine beeps ]

Hey, babe, it's Jake.

Listen, I got a half-hour|after wrestling.

I can either take a shower|or I can come on over.

[ Deep voice ]|Too late, dude.

She's with me right now.

She says that my peepee's|way bigger than yours.

And that's|if I fold it in half.

[ Gasps ]

Wha...

- No way!|- [ Laughs ]

Oh, my God,|that was awesome, Spence.

[ High-pitched ] Anytime.

[ Laughs ]

[ Both sigh ]

[ Sighs ]

You know, I really thought|I was in love.

How do you know for sure,|anyway?

I think it's when|you find someone

that you can really|be yourself with...

share anything...you know?

You mean like best friends?

Yeah.

Love's when|you can't even imagine

what your life would be like|without that other person,

when words don't come close to|how your heart really feels.

And even though it doesn't|make sense to other people,

you "know" you're meant|to be together.

Yeah.

And you spend all night|thinking about him.

And in the morning,|you've never felt more rested.

Oh, it's like you have to|grab on to something,

'cause it seems like your whole|body's about to float away.

[ Gasps excitedly ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

Okay...

- [ Exhales sharply ]|- What?

I have an idea.

What? What, what?

- Tell...|- It might sound kind of crazy.

Tell me. Tell me. What?

Why don't you and I|go to the prom together?

That would be awesome!

- Yeah!|- [ Laughs ] Yeah!

- So cool!|- [ Both laughing ]

Aaah!

Yeah!

We'd make Jake so jealous.

Yeah.

Ahhhh.

[ Laughs ]

I got to pee.|Ooh, I got to pee.

Ooh.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Hmm-hoo!

[ Urinating ]

- [ Farting ]|- Oh.

[ Exhales sharply ]

- [ Urinating, farting ]|- Oh!

- [ Splattering ]|- Oh, jeez!

Sorry, I'll get that.

Are you okay?

I'll get it.

Sorry.

Ash to ash

And dust to dust

We dream of...

Jessica?

We sold you...

Jessica?!

Our trust

[ Tires squealing ]

Jessica!

Oh, Jessica.

Oh. Oh, thank God.|[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]|I love you, baby.

[ Sighs deeply ]

I would do anything for you.

[ Scoffs ] Yeah?

[ Sighs deeply ]

Uh...how much money you got?

What?

How much money you got?

Um...

Uh...

About $40.

That your car?

It's my dad's.

You know that.

Oh, yeah. Cool.

Give me the keys.

[ Keys jingling ]

Oh. Thanks.

[ Sniffs ]

Hey, uh, so, uh,|w- what'd you say your name was?

Billy.

Oh, yeah. Ooh.

Take it easy, Bobby.

- [ Door creaks, closes ]|- It's "Billy. "

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Tires squealing ]

[ Tires squealing ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Rock music plays,|tires squealing ]

Aaah!

[ Music stops ]

[ Panting ]

[ Crying softly ]

[ Crowd cheering,|dance music plays ]

Yeah.

[ Whistle blows, music stops ]

[ Salsa music plays ]

Where's Jessica?

[ Sighs ]|Don't worry, Miss Bernard.

She'll be here.

[ Music continues ]

[ Men singing in Spanish ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Hey.

[ Exhales sharply ] I really|hope this works, Jessica.

Come on,|let's go kick some ass.

Okay.

Aah. Oh!

Dude, there's Jessica.

Whatever.

Dude!

[ Whistles, cheers ]

Number one!

She "does" love me.

[ Dance music plays,|whip cracks ]

Are you feeling fierce?

[ Introduction to Run-D.M.C.'s|"It's Tricky" plays ]

It's tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme|that's right on time

It's tricky

It's tricky, tricky,|tricky, tricky

[ Dance music plays ]

Whoo-hoo!

[ Hip-hop music plays ]

ALL:
The Bees are coming!|The Bees are coming!

Sting this!

That's you! That's you!|I see you!

[ Hip-hop music plays ]

Yeah!

[ Music stops ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

- Whoa! Oh!|- GIRL: Aaah!

[ All gasping ]

Aaah!

[ Panting ]

[ Girls screaming ]

- [ Vomiting ]|- Oh! Je...

[ Retching ]

Oh, come on, man.

[ Feedback ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

it appears the older gentleman|in the bee outfit

with the fake b*obs|is the school janitor.

As per Section 31 C|of the rule book,

school employees|are allowed to be mascots.

Say hello|to your new champions...

the Bridgetown Honeys!

- [ Cheers and applause ]|- ALL: Aaah!

Aaah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

ALL:
Aaah!

[ Laughing wildly ]

- Whoo-hoo!|- Oh!

Ugh!

Give me all your fear

Throw it all away

And think|about the good things

No matter what they say

We'll take tomorrow,|baby, yeah

One day at a time

WOMAN ON TV:
Here's|a bizarre story for you...

police are now searching|for the hot chick bandit...

a beautiful young woman who|lures men into dark alleyways,

beats them senseless,|and takes their wallets.

Well, we thought|maybe she needed some help.

Yeah, we're helpful guys.

So we went into the alley, and|then she starts wailing on me.

And let me tell you...|she didn't hit like a girl.

Luckily, Fitzy,|the good guy that he is...

he was hiding behind a dumpster|with a video camera.

Looks like she worked you over|pretty good.

Yeah, well,|don't get me wrong...

I got some shots in.

Ow!

- [ Thud, thud, thud ]|- Ow! Ow! Ow!

[ Whimpering ]

Ow!

Ow!

- [ Thud ]|- Owww!

[ Thud ]

Owww!

Why? Oh, God.

Oh, God, that hurt.

Owww!

[ Whimpering ]

- Why?! [ Whimpering ]|- [ Telephone beeping ]

[ Whimpering continues ]

[ Ringing ]

Hi, it's April.|Leave me a message.

- [ Beep ]|- April, it's Hildenburg.

I think I found Jessica's body.|It's in an alley outside a bar.

But we got to move fast, because|the police are looking for it.

- Call me back.|- Ohh! Oh!

Aaaahhh!

- [ Thud ]|- [ Cat screeches ]

[ Slow piano music plays ]

[ Jessica sniffles,|cries softly ]

Jessica?

[ Crying softly ]

[ Sighs deeply ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sniffles ]|Not now, Booger.

I knew it!

Jessie, it "is" you!

How come you didn't|snitch on me?

'Cause you're my sister,

and I accept you|for who you are.

Come here.|[ Sighs deeply ]

[ Inhales sharply ]

You are such a little weirdo.

[ Sniffles ]

That's right, don't be|looking at me like that

See, my name|is Grandma Funk, y'all

Funk if you're nasty,|darling

Ooh...

Sweet as cand-y!

KEECIA'S MOTHER:
Ling-Ling!

I need|a little more volume

"L" to the "I"|to the "N" to the "G."

[ Laughs ]

Ling-Ling, you forgot|your bling-bling.

Mom...|you're ruining my life!

I just want|to meet you halfway.

Are you ready to get down,|get funky?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes