The Hot Chick Page #7

Nigga, "prease"!

[ Groove Armada's|"I See You, Baby" plays ]

I wish my mama got "me"|some bling-bling.

Honey, if you don't|want her as your mama,

"I'll" take her.

- Girl, please.|- Girl, please.

Uh!

- What?|- Uh!

- Come on!|- Uh!

[ Eerie music plays,|siren wailing ]

Whoa,|hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

Whoa,|pretty, pretty shy one

Whoa,|hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

Whoa,|pretty, pretty fly one

You still think I have|a chance at prom queen?

No.

Okay.

[ Music continues ]

Mom!

I'm sorry.

But why do you have to|keep embarrassing me

in front of my friends?

[ Sighs ]

You're not ashamed of me.

You're really ashamed|of yourself.

[ Breathing shakily ]

Tell Lulu...

easy on the chronic.

[ Engine turns over,|buzzing ]

- Bow down|- When I come to your town

- Bow down|- When I'm Westward bound

Bow down

'Cause I ain't|a hater like you

Bow down to a dealer|that's greater than you

I take ten steps,|and I draw

[ Telephone ringing ]

Ohhh! Oh! Oh!

[ Ringing continues ]

[ Beep ]

Oh, h-h-hi, Carol.

Jessica didn't get ready here.

No. No, she hasn't|been here all week.

[ Beep ]

Oh! I knew it!

[ Gasps ] Something is going on|with Jessica and April.

Oh...oh, I'm gonna|get to the bottom of it.

If you ruin April's night,|I will have you put away.

Wh...

I- If you're not gonna help me,|I- I'm gonna do it myself.

[ Rustling ]

[ Tires squealing ]

[ Horn blaring ]

[ Blaring continues ]

[ Michelle Branch's|"You Get Me" plays ]

So I'm a little left|of center

I'm a little out of tune

I think this is a good spot.

Some say I'm paranormal

Jake's got to|come right by here.

I don't really care|about Jake anymore.

You shouldn't. He's a jerk.

There's no one I'd rather|be with here tonight.

I don't care|what they're saying

Me either.

[ Exhales sharply ]

As long as I'm your girl

April, you look|so beautiful tonight.

No one has ever been there|for me like you have.

You've always|been there for me.

Any guy would be so lucky to|have you as their girlfriend.

And I should know.

I've been a guy|for almost a week now.

And in that time, you have been|such a good friend to me.

I don't know how|I could ever thank you.

Ehhhh...

Here he comes.

[ Both chuckle ]

That dress looks great.

Is it easy to get out of?

[ Slurps ]

[ Inhales deeply ]

God.

Aaah!

Oh...

I am "so" lesbian right now.

[ Scoffs ]

We totally nailed him.|[ Laughs ]

Jake is so jealous.

He spilled his drink|all over his date.

You should've seen it.|[ Laughs ]

We already got him, honey.|He can't see us anym...

Spence, I love you.

I love you, too, April.

If you weren't holding on|to me right now...

I'd float away.

You're my best friend,|and now you're a guy.

It's meant to be.

[ Sighs ]

April...

you don't need me or any guy

to make you feel|beautiful and special...

because you are.

You are the greatest girl|in the whole world.

You are all you need.

I know it's crazy,|but I can't help it.

I'm in love with you, Spence.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

April...

You gonna be okay?

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

We're not gonna let|a little thing like...

me turning into a man|and you wanting to be with me

get in the way|of our friendship, are we?

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]|I'm in love with Billy.

And if I'm gonna be|stuck like this forever,

he's just gonna have to|accept me as I am...

a man.

That's my man.

[ Dance music plays ]

I think I know|who's in Jessica's body.

[ Gasps ]

And I know|where we can find him.

Let's find Jessica|and get out of here.

Hildenburg,|you know what to do.

Come on.

[ Music continues ]

Aah!

Come on.

- [ Whip cracking ]|- MAN: That's a huge b*tch.

[ Laughs ]|I didn't see it coming.

No way, man. [ Laughs ]

[ Whistles ]|Scoot. He's mine.

Mmm, boy, I don't think so.

Aah!

[ Sighs ]

[ Exhales sharply ]|Get away!

Billy...

It's me... Jessica.

It's a"Iw"a"ys" been me.

Mister...

you're freaking me out.

You know how|when I touch you there,

it makes your whole leg|tingle?

And when I touch you here...

No. No.|No, it can't be.

Do you remember|after the homecoming game...

after you threw the winning pass|to beat Carlmont,

you and I went|behind the scoreboard and...

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Whispering ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

You got to believe me.

Silly... Billy... nilly.

Just close your eyes.

You'll know it's me.

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Romantic music plays ]

Oh!

Oh, I can't!|I can't do it!

You always said you'd love me|no matter what.

Bu... I...|you're a 30-year-old dude!

Just on the outside!

Billy!

- [ Footsteps approaching ]|- Bil...

We found your body.

[ Panting ]

- It'll be fine.|- Are you sure she's all right?

I'm sure everything's|gonna be fine.

Booger, hurry up!

Come on, buddy!

You got to learn to run in those|heels if you're gonna wear them.

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Sister Sledge's "He's|The Greatest Dancer" plays ]

Oh, what, wow

- He's the greatest dancer|- There you go, sweetheart.

That I've ever seen

- I've ever seen|- [ Laughs ]

- Oh, what, wow|- [ Grunts ]

He's the greatest dancer

Oh, what, wow

That I've ever seen

Oh, sh*t!

[ Exhales sharply ]

I knew it was gonna be|a good night.

Ow! God.

Thanks, Hildenburg.

I want my body back right now!

Well, finders keepers,|sweetheart.

[ Lighter clicks ]

How dare you?! Do you know what|this could do to my lungs?!

[ Scoffs ]

You give me that earring!|Give me that earring!

You give me that earring.

Give it to me. Give it.|Give it to me.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Sit down.|Calm down. Calm down.

I'll make you a deal, okay?

Now...

just let me make another|500 bucks tonight, okay?

And then I'll give you|your body back

'cause it's|so important to you.

[ Mockingly ]|"I'm crying about my body. "

And then...

you can just loan it to me|every other weekend

and... so I can pay off|some gambling debts.

Weekends... loan you my body.

[ Chuckles ]

I want my body back!

Give me my body back!

- Give...|- [ Choking ]

Hey...

Look at me.

I'm only gonna|tell you this once...

no strangling the dancers|or you are out of here!

Now, can't you read?

[ Dance music plays ]

What are you waiting for?

Now, "this" is more like it.

I got to hit the head.

Give it to me

Life is what you make it

And it can pass you by

Hey, don't worry.

We're gonna get him.

[ Gasps ]

[ All laughing ]

Hey, babe.

[ Whistles ] Sweetheart.

Hey...

No way!

Jessica?!|This is where you've been?

[ Laughing ]

I want a dance from "you!"

Ye-e-e-ah!

Mar...

Oh.

Ugh! Oh!

[ Exhales rapidly ]

So, dancing naked|must be fun, huh?

Yeah, sure...

why wouldn't it be?

Where do you keep|your weed, though?

Give it to me,|give it to me

Ohhhh.

That's good.

I don't have one of those.

Sure.

[ Romantic music plays ]

[ Sighs ]

Bye, Spence.

You'll always be|my best friend.

Forever.

[ Sighs ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Introduction to|"More Than a Woman" plays ]

Billy?

Hi, Mrs. Spencer.

Mr. Spencer.

How's it going, Booger?

[ Sighs ]

This isn't the prom.

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