The Hot Flashes Page #2

Are you saying playing

basketball's too black for you?

I'm saying I have

different priorities.

People think just because I took

over this job when J.C. died...

that I don't have what it

takes to get reelected.

Well, I'll prove them wrong by becoming the

first elected black mayor of Burning Bush.

I hate to burst your

civil rights bubble,

but any idiot in this town

who wouldn't vote for you...

'cause you act too black

or come on too strong...

isn't gonna vote for you, period.

Why do you want this job anyway?

You don't even get a proper office.

What do you call this?

J.C. was a damn good

mayor for 10 years.

I intend to honor that

and keep his memory alive.

I understand you wantin'

to honor him and all, but...

Oh, and you'd understand about

losing a husband, would you?

Oh.

Florine, I'm sorry.

Look, I think that you are the

most capable person in this town,

but lately, you've been

pretendin' to be all proper.

But I can see, you need to

get your game on again.

I said no.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have important work to do.

I have to call the paper and let them know

the Little Miss Burning Bush Pageant...

has been postponed due to lice.

Well, we're practicing Thursday

night if you change your mind.

What are you lookin' at, white boy?

You know I am too old

to play basketball.

Beth?

Hey, Roxie.

Hey.

I haven't seen you in ages.

What are you doin' around here?

I came here to ask you to be a

part of somethin' important.

At least, it's important to me.

Look, I'm real flattered

that you asked me,

but my basketball days are over.

Mmm. Mmm.

Wow. This is good.

That's Mary Jane Mud Cake.

Mmm. Come on, Roxie.

You were on a championship

team in high school.

As soon as you get back on the court,

it's all gonna come back to you.

You don't get it, Beth. I didn't

have these babies back then.

I think you look just fine.

Well, thank you,

but you're full of sh*t.

I do.

And I know that Tito still

thinks you're beautiful.

The only time Tito notices me...

is when I'm blockin' the TV set

when Jennifer Lopez is on.

He'd rather see her big ass

than mine.

You want some more coffee?

Oh, please.

All right.

So I assume you were a post

and Florine a guard.

Now, who was

your other startin' forward?

It was Clemmy Baker.

She's Clementine Winks now.

Coach Slaughter's ex-wife?

Oh, yeah. She's a lot

of people's ex-wife.

Clementine Winks, huh?

I did not recognize her

in the photo.

Well, that's because now she

looks like 40 miles of bad road.

Bad karma, if you ask me.

I think she looks pretty good.

Trust me, Beth. You don't

want her on your team.

Why not?

Let's put it this way.

When she hears the word

"hoedown," she hits the floor.

Okay.

I best be goin'.

Oh.

You didn't like the cake?

No, it was delicious.

I am just... I gotta

save room for dinner.

Oh. You got such

a nice figure, Beth.

Well, maybe us practicin' together,

gettin' in shape for the games...

would be a good way for you

to get your figure back.

I'm sorry, Beth.

I just can't.

Well, we are practicin'

Thursday night...

if you change your mind.

Basketball.

That's a great idea, raising

money for Tess's memory.

You know, she was the only one who

didn't turn on me in high school.

When my fourth marriage ended,

she showed up at my house

with a U-Haul to help me move.

And she was going through radiation

and chemo at the same time.

Bald as a baby's bottom.

Well, I had no idea.

Yeah.

She was really somethin'.

I hope this goes well for y'all.

Well, we want you

to be on the team.

I can't.

Why not?

Well, a certain high school

girls' basketball coach.

I heard it was messy.

Oh, honey, you don't know

the half of it.

That skank humiliated me

in divorce court.

Took the house and didn't have

to pay a dime in alimony.

27.50.

No, I'm not gonna lose

to him again.

Who says we're gonna lose?

Has your elevator stopped

going to the top floor?

Thanks, but no, thanks.

Well, we're practicin' Thursday night

at 7:
30 if you change your mind.

And remember, this is for Tess.

Bye.

Shannon, will you quit readin'

that thing and get back to work.

It's not like this job is hard.

Well, I'm goin' for a smoke break.

Okay.

They're your lungs.

They are.

Mom?

Mom?

What are you doing here?

I'm meeting with Coach Slaughter

to schedule the games.

Oh, God. I can't believe you're

really serious about this.

I mean, personally, Mrs. H.,

I just wanna say...

I think it is so brave that y'all are

gettin' back out on the court...

after all these years.

Well, thank you, Millie.

Mom, have you thought about the physical

shape you need to be in to do this?

Of course.

I'm givin' us time to train.

Well, I mean, I know we're all

really looking forward to it.

So are we.

See ya on the court.

Oh, my God.

I cannot believe that your mom

is actually gonna do that!

I'm so embarrassed.

I mean, I would die.

I actually would just die.

It would benefit the mobile unit.

Tess's Traveling Titty Tester?

Mrs. Humphrey, I have my

reputation to think about.

It took me years to whip

my girls into winners.

They may be girls,

but they're still champs.

And you don't follow up a state championship

with a touchy-feely game like this...

even if it is for a good cause.

Mind if I dip?

No.

Yeah. Clementine said you'd be

afraid she might beat you again.

What does my ex-wife

have to do with this?

Oh. Didn't I mention?

She's on our team.

All the more reason to steer clear.

That woman's trouble.

Wait a minute. What do you mean I'd

be afraid she'd beat me again?

You know, with the

divorce trial and all.

I won that one...

in the eyes of the court

and of the Lord.

You know how people gossip.

Some are bound to believe her and

think that you won't play us...

'cause you're afraid

you might lose.

Afraid of losing to her?

That lazy tramp smokes

a pack a day!

Let's hope the school board doesn't

think that you're afraid...

to play a lazy tramp

who smokes a pack a day.

Beth?

You and your ladies...

And I use that term loosely

considering Clementine's involved...

are gonna have to stay within

20 points of me and my girls...

in this first game.

Otherwise, there won't be

a second or a third.

Thank you.

It's a deal.

I know you mean well,

but it's a crazy idea.

Look, Beth.

I don't want you to embarrass

yourself or your daughter.

Well, may the best girl win.

Mom, you're not a girl!

No matter how immature

you're actin' lately.

What are you talkin' about?

Are you embarrassed?

Mortified is more like it.

Why can't you just support me?

When Hillary Clinton ran for

president, Chelsea was right there.

The wind beneath her wings.

Hillary didn't run against Chelsea.

And she lost.

Beth, look.

We know you, baby.

You'll talk, talk,

talk this all over town.

And then, when you see

how hard it is...

or how not enough people

show up for the first game,

you'll lose interest and quit, like

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