The Hot Flashes Page #6

Oh, isn't that convenient for

you both. Do you love her?

- We'll talk when you calm down.

- You come back here!

Every time you don't wanna hear somethin',

you just walk away or you ignore me.

Beth, what do you want me to say?

That spark we used to have? I wanna

feel it more than once a year.

I'm too young

to feel this damn old.

When you sink a three-pointer for

the Hot Flashes, you feel 18 again.

That's how I feel with her.

She's not comin'.

Why?

We know you're in there.

Did y'all know about her?

No.

No. Of course not.

We didn't know, Beth.

But we know you're gonna

get through this.

Mm-mmm.

I think he's gonna leave me.

Yeah. When Jocelyn goes off to college.

And I'll be totally alone.

You will not be totally alone.

You've got us.

You got a whole posse now, girl.

I'm afraid my basketball

days are over.

But you can't quit now.

Hey. Listen. Havin' a pity party

isn't gonna help anything.

Believe me, honey, I know.

I thought takin' on those

girls might help Laurence...

see me the way he used to.

Whatever happens

between you and Laurence,

he can't take this away from you.

This was your idea.

Y'all should know that I'm the reason

why the mobile unit ran out of money.

I forgot to reapply

for the matching funds.

I never told you 'cause I

was so ashamed.

You don't get it, Beth.

This whole thing is so much

bigger than you are now.

Didn't you read the story

in the Waco paper today?

All right. Read it to her.

Let me see.

Blah, blah, blah.

"Word has spread like wildfire

across the Internet...

about the Burning Bush Hot Flashes.

And several similar basketball

teams of middle-aged women...

have sprung up around Texas to

raise money for breast cancer,

including the Waco Mood Swings,

the Crawford Crying Fits and the

Plano Night Sweats."

You see, Beth. If you quit, you

wouldn't just be quittin' on yourself.

You would be quittin' on all of us.

Come on, Beth.

Come on, Beth.

- Come on, Beth.

- Beth.

The gym is closed.

You ladies might as well

turn around and go home.

We're fixin' to practice.

Sorry. But you're banned

from playin' on school property.

What?

Who banned us?

The school board.

They said your whole team...

was a bad influence

on the kids of Burning Bush.

They had a page-long list

of improprieties.

What f***ing improprieties?

Hey.

What about our final game?

Canceled.

What?

I'm not exactly thrilled to have our

last game of the season be a loss...

to an inferior team,

but the school board

has made up its mind.

The gym is locked.

Ooh.

I hate that man.

We have to let them know

that this is wrong.

And how we gonna do that?

I don't know.

They have their weekly meeting tomorrow

night. I'll think of somethin'.

Miss Humphrey, I'm afraid

you're wasting your time.

We discussed this at length

before we voted.

What did we do that

was so horrible?

Smokin'. Bribing referees.

Promotin' homosexuality.

And excessive profanity.

Okay, so maybe we made

some folks uncomfortable,

but if we promise to be

on our best behavior...

in the last game,

would you take another vote?

These are serious grievances. Now,

we've made our decision. We're sorry.

Now, if you don't mind, we have a

lot of other business to discuss,

and we'd like to get home to

our families before midnight.

Oh, it's funny you should

mention your families.

Your wives, Frida, Fay,

Jodelle, Lanette, Sissy.

They were all high

school cheerleaders.

Yeah. So?

So, don't you think you ought

to consider their feelings...

about canceling their last-ever

opportunity to be a cheerleader?

What are you talkin' about?

Well, I called each of

'em on my way here.

They were awfully excited about

doin' a half-time performance.

Oh, you're talkin' crazy now.

Well, why don't you call your

wives and ask if it's crazy?

You wouldn't want them findin' out later

that you didn't check in with them...

before cheatin' them

out of this opportunity.

I'll give you gentlemen

a moment of privacy.

Beth.

Do you plan to keep seein' her?

I need to know.

Keep your voice down.

Jocelyn's asleep.

Answer the question.

It's not that simple.

Well, let me simplify it for you.

I'm playin' my last game with

the Hot Flashes Friday night.

If you plan to keep

seein' her, don't come.

I'm as nervous

as a long-tailed cat...

in a room full of rockin' chairs.

I haven't been this nervous since...

State championship game, 1980.

Exactly.

Me neither.

I'm sorry I'm late. Holy crap,

there's a lot of people out there!

Damn. Look at you, hot mama!

Girl.

You got it, you gotta flaunt it.

Ladies! Ladies, we got a packed

house out there tonight.

That bettin' pool is gonna put

us over the $25,000 mark.

Now, we just gotta

go out there and win!

God.

All right. If-If that doesn't

crank your engines...

That little bit

of newspaper publicity we got?

Went viral.

You are not gonna believe

who is out there.

Who?

Good Morning America.

What?

Get out!

Shut up!

Damn.

They wanna shoot a pregame

interview with one of our players.

They're settin' up right now.

So. Who's it gonna be?

Beth. You thought

of this whole thing.

Yeah. Beth.

Yeah.

Come on. Florine,

you're runnin' for mayor.

Ginger, this could do

wonders for your dealership.

Yeah.

You're lookin' pretty hot.

I'm just sayin'.

I think it's gotta be Roxie.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Really?

Damn, girl.

Good Morning America!

Go get 'em, Roxie!

Be sure to join us later this week

when we'll show you the Hot Flashes,

a basketball team comprised

of women of a certain age,

who are taking on

the state high school champs,

to raise money to help save

their local mammogram unit.

So tell us why you're doing this.

Well, it's a great cause.

And we just wanna show the

world that women our age...

We still got game! Whoo!

I'm a breast cancer survivor myself, so

I gotta say thank you, and bless you,

and go on with your bad self.

Hey, I... I gotta go. Um... Gotta

go suit up for the game.

You do that.

See ya later. Thanks for comin'.

You got it.

All right.

She's the real deal.

All right. it's a big turnout, ladies.

Here we go, Florine.

Thanks.

Clementine. Ginger.

Beth. You okay?

I don't think he's comin'.

Oh. Don't worry.

He'll show.

Hi, y'all.

- Who was that?

- My roommate.

My partner.

- That's Jewel?

- Mm-hmm.

Now, go ahead, Ginger.

All right, ladies.

This is it.

What's more important

than us winning?

Them losin'.

That's right.

Hot Flashes on three.

- One, two, three.

- Hot Flashes!

Yeah.

Get back. Get back!

Yeah. Now get back.

All right.

Come on, Flo.

Come on.

Come on, Beth.

No, no, no!

Yes!

All right. Let's go, ladies.

Let's go!

Hands up!

All right, Flo.

All right.

Come on, Beth.

You got this.

Go, Clemmy!

Yeah, babe.

You scored, babe!

We'll let Number 7 shoot anytime.

Oh, my God!

Ah!

We are not playin'

a bad game overall.

Even though some of us

aren't hittin' our shots.

Now, no one thought we could

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