The Hot Flashes Page #5

What?

That's a lie.

Millie.

Oops.

Why'd you say that?

Chillax.

I was just jokin'.

Good game.

Good game, good game.

Good game, good game, good game.

Good game.

Good game.

Well, at least you said

somethin' about that heathen.

Did you see her face?

Oh, hi, Beth.

Looks like you get to

continue your little match.

Good game.

Would've been if your daughter hadn't

pulled that stunt with Ginger.

Oh. It was a joke.

Besides, the whole town

knows that Ginger is...

that kind.

If your daughter

can't accept others,

at least you can teach her

some tolerance.

Isn't tolerance just

a fancy way of sayin'...

that we're puttin' up with

somethin' that we know is wrong?

How 'bout some basic respect?

Millie respects the Bible.

Yeah.

It's real specific.

Oh. Well, as long as

we're talkin' specifics,

I believe the Bible's real clear about

what you and Darryl Lee were doin'...

at the mini golf course last week.

If you say one more derogatory

thing about Ginger,

I got a real juicy Facebook

post waitin' to go out...

telling everybody in town how our

miniature golf course now has a 19th hole.

See y'all in church.

Don't you threaten my daughter!

You think you're such hot

stuff around here, don't you?

You and your foulmouthed team are

a bad influence on those girls.

Oh, we'll see who

this community listens to.

Come on, Millie!

Darryl Lee?

Young lady, you are so grounded!

Hey, baby.

Mm-mm-mm.

Why don't you let me

lick those fingers for ya?

We got any more of

that 420 flan, baby?

No.

But I think I got

somethin' real sweet...

you might like right here.

Where you goin', baby?

Is she still out there?

Yeah.

Thought she'd be tired

of this by now.

I give her another...

week.

I think this is different, Dad.

Hmm?

She's been staying up

every night practicin'.

I think her whole team is

really serious about this.

Yeah?

Okay.

Uh-huh.

- Hey, baby.

- Where you been?

I've been quail-huntin'

with Dan Metcalf.

It's after 8:
00.

I don't wanna argue.

I'm tired.

I found a hair clip in the pickup.

I'm 99% sure it's not Jocelyn's,

and I'm 100% sure it's not mine.

What is this, "Special

Victims Hair Clip Unit?"

Those hormones

are messin' with you.

I'm gonna take a shower

and go to bed.

What's wrong?

You are.

What did I do?

Eavesdropping on my phone conversations

and using it to get Millie grounded?

A mother doesn't eavesdrop.

She pays attention.

And that girl deserved it

after what she did to Ginger.

She and the rest of the team

are barely speakin' to me.

I'm gonna have to write her English

term paper to make it up to her.

Since when are you

and Millie Rash best friends?

She's the most popular girl on my team.

And my team is important to me.

Well, maybe my team's

important to me too.

Your team goes away in two weeks. I'm

with mine for the rest of the year.

Come on, Flo. Let's go.

I-I'll be there.

There's only $1,500

in the betting pool.

Doesn't look like much more

of a turnout tonight.

We'll come up with somethin'.

All right, ladies.

Gather round.

Where's Florine?

All right. I'm ready.

What?

All right. The mobile unit

is ridin' on us tonight.

If we lose this game,

we're not gonna get a third.

If you gals put on

a good show tonight,

they're gonna tell their

friends to come out next game.

It's called "word of mouth."

mind over matter.

If the refs don't mind,

it don't matter.

Hot Flashes on three.

One, two, three!

Hot Flashes!

Hips don't lie, sweetheart.

- That was a foul.

- That's a foul.

It's cool, dude.

What was that?

Get it!

She stepped on her foot.

On her foot!

Yes!

Hey, that's a foul!

Intentional!

Nice hair.

Thank you!

Hello! That was a foul.

What in the Sam Hill?

Oh!

I know how starved you

must be for attention.

I mean, my mama told me how hard it is

to get a husband after a certain age.

Why buy the cow when you

can get the milk for free?

Who needs a husband?

I mean, why buy the pig when all

you need is a little sausage?

Ew.

Score's right.

Cool.

Hot Flashes' ball.

Hey.

I intend to file a complaint

with the referee's association.

And don't pretend you don't

know what I'm talkin' about.

You'll never work

in this state again, dude.

Wow.

Oh, my God!

Whoo!

Let's go, ladies.

Rebound! Rebound!

Get back, ladies.

Come on, come on!

One more. Come on, Flo!

Yeah!

Coach! Did you see that?

I know, I know.

Nice job, ladies! We got some

celebrating to do. Drinks on me!

Whoo! Beautiful shot!

Yeah!

That's the way, Florine!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Beth, where's Laurence? I thought

he was comin' by to celebrate?

No, he had to go back

to the post office. Yeah.

Ever since the layoffs, he has just

been workin' overtime every night.

Honey, you look like

a million bucks.

Now, you need to go down to that post office

and tempt him with a special delivery.

I am not tempting

him much lately.

Honey, in that dress, you could

tempt most of the men in this town,

including a couple of the women.

Okay, ladies.

To the Hot Flashes!

That was quite a game tonight.

I'm with the Waco Register.

I've seen your posters all over town.

I'm always lookin' for a good story.

Mind if I take

some photos of your team?

Oh, hell. Nobody wants to see a photo of my

big ass in the newspaper. That's for sure.

My name's Clementine Winks.

W-I-N-K-S.

You need some photos?

I do.

Why don't you come here with me, and

I'll tell you how the team got started.

She's like a

gopher in soft dirt.

We could use the publicity. Get

some people out for the last game.

Next round on me.

I sold the pickup today.

Hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

Good girl!

Hey, none for me.

I'm drivin' home.

Oh, can I get a ride?

The post office is on the way.

I think I might actually

surprise Laurence tonight.

Good for you!

See if his tipsy wife can tempt him now.

Hey, Beth. Don't forget,

you're still in training.

You gotta save some of that

energy for the last game.

Aye, aye, sir.

- Here you go, boss.

- Adios, amiga!

Yeah.

I'm gonna ride you like a pony!

Come on!

Watch out.

Uh-oh.

Butt in the gut. Butt in the gut.

Oh! Hey.

That is not my gut!

Ah!

Have a great time!

Thank you. Great

game tonight, girl!

See ya tomorrow!

Seal that envelope.

Where's your stamp?

Look for the stamp.

- Track and confirmed.

- I like it.

Oh, no, don't you go express.

Not this time.

Yes!

Put your bulk mail in me.

Go postal on me!

Oh. Oh!

What was that?

What was that?

Beth.

Beth! Open the door.

I don't wanna wake Jocelyn.

I need to talk to you.

Beth, please.

Open the door.

I can explain.

Beth, please.

Looks like somebody celebrated

a little too hard last night.

Yeah. Guess I'm not

as young as I used to be.

Bacon's supposed to

be good for hangovers.

I don't wanna be late for school.

Bye, Dad.

Bye-bye, baby.

Good-bye, Jocelyn.

I don't know what to say.

Why her?

Do you love her?

Be honest with me. I deserve that.

Do you love her?

What about her husband?

He's away, workin' on an oil rig.

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