The Hot Flashes Page #4

Hey! Stop it!

Stop it right now!

Everybody! Sideline! Now!

Get off!

B*tch!

Hey!

I feel like it's my

responsibility as your coach...

to tell you this.

You'll never win if you keep beatin'

the hell out of each other!

There's only room

for one enemy now,

and that's the Armadillos.

Those girls... they are

younger and they are faster.

That's a fact of life.

So we need to use

our innate abilities.

- Like what?

- I... I don't know.

It could be...

it could be anything.

What do y'all have that they don't?

Lazy husbands?

Okay. Uh, it's a start.

- A cynical attitude.

- Now we're talkin'.

A weldin' license.

What?

I got it after Flashdance came out.

Everybody was gettin' 'em.

A higher tolerance for alcohol.

Tattoo coverin' a C-section scar.

Nonexistent gag reflex.

Okay, okay. We just need

to figure out...

how to take full advantage

of these assets.

Sure, we gotta abide

by what the ref says,

but other than that,

there are no rules here.

What are you suggestin'?

Sayin', if mama wants to win,

mama might have to get her

hands a little dirty.

Here you go. Thank you.

Good luck.

Hey, hey, hey, Roy!

Wow. Roxie.

What's the occasion?

No occasion.

Since you had to sell your Harley,

you don't ride with us anymore.

I just don't get

to see you that much.

If I remember correctly,

my Purple Haze Pecan Pie

was your favorite.

Oh, you got that right.

Hey, how's business goin', Roy?

Oh, not so good. I gotta put in twice

the number of hours just to get by.

Yeah. I heard you had to take on a

second job just to help pay the bills.

What was that?

I referee basketball games.

That's right.

Yeah.

Oh, well. Here ya go, Roy.

You enjoy that now. Okay?

Oh, hello, old friend.

Thank you, Roxie!

All right. I want to see some

tough broads out here today!

Let's go!

Come on, Clementine!

Let's go.

Go. Boom, boom!

Get those hips moving.

Get that ball around that hip.

Lift 'em!

To the left! To the left!

Shotgun!

To the right!

To the right! Shotgun!

Go! Get 'em up there!

Get those knees up!

Let's go!

Quick! Quick! Quick!

Quick! Quick! Quick!

Quick! Quick!

B*tch!

Come on! Let me see you flow with me!

Come on! Finger shift.

Finger shift.

Hey, y'all.

Hi.

No one is bettin'

in the bettin' pool.

We have less than 200 bucks.

No.

Maybe, if we just kick

ass in the first game,

more people will show up

for the second one.

Well, our uniforms

are gonna be winners.

Look what Roxie designed

and Ginger had printed up.

Oh, Roxie!

You're so talented!

I know.

Oh, it's funny. I've spent

half my life as a housewife...

and totally suck

at sewin' and cookin'.

What have I been doin'

all these years?

Beth, you've been

raisin' a daughter.

And taking care of a husband.

Well, I'm not too sure about that.

Beth, everything okay

with you and Laurence?

I don't know.

But I should be grateful

that he puts up with me.

I don't know what I'd do

if he didn't.

Oh, God. Don't

be grateful for that.

You know what you do if a husband

walks out on you? Lock the door.

I wouldn't take relationship

advice from her.

Oh, shut up.

Uh-uh-uh.

I look at Jocelyn, and I know we

at least did one thing right.

Mmm. Count your blessings, Beth.

Not all of 'em turn out that good.

Hey, Mrs. H.

Hey, y'all.

Oh, my goodness.

Your uniforms are so cute.

You know, it was real smart of y'all to get

T-shirts that cover the back of your arms.

Watch your mouth,

Millie Rash.

I mean, they all probably wanna

cover up as much as they can...

just to make sure one of their

teammates doesn't check them out.

Whoo! Look at the time. I have

gotta go let the dogs out.

My roommate's still at work.

So I'll see y'all later.

Bye, Ginger.

Bye, Ginger.

Take care, Ginger.

By the way, have y'all met

her roommate Jewel?

I've never once laid eyes on her.

It's kinda like she's embarrassed

by her or somethin'.

Maybe she's got a wonky eye.

Come on, y'all.

It's obvious.

We haven't met her because

Ginger's not ready to come out.

I mean, Burning Bush isn't

exactly Brokeback Mountain.

Execute a full fake...

and take one hard dribble

in the opposite direction.

That supposed to be a jab step,

pump fake?

I didn't hear you come in.

Give me the Butterball.

I'll show you.

See, the trick is in your

waist, not your feet.

Yeah.

Works best when a player's made a bunch of

points from a particular spot on the court.

Defense won't be

expecting the fake.

I don't think we should

be discussing the game.

Coach says that I'm supposed to

look at y'all like the enemy.

Oh, okay. Well, I guess the enemy

doesn't need to help with dinner.

Hmm.

Is that rap music

you're listening to?

It's vintage

Salt-N-Pepa.

It's not rap rap.

Oh, my God!

Well, what's it look like out there?

I have seen more people

in a minivan.

Tito's not even here. And he

doesn't have anywhere else to go.

Well, what's it look like

in the bettin' pool?

There's only about $400 in there.

Oh!

Maybe Laurence was right.

Maybe nobody wants to see a bunch of

middle-aged women play basketball.

How can we raise any money

if nobody's bettin' against us?

Hey!

We still got a job to do tonight.

Gotta go out there and show

this town what we're made of.

What town?

Nobody's even here.

Have you all forgotten

what's at stake here?

Our dignity?

Oh, hell. You... You're forcing me to go all

Lifetime television for women on you now.

My aunt... Aunt Rowena...

she, uh... she died

of breast cancer.

She lived in a little Podunk

town hours away from a doctor...

or a decent strip club.

If the town had a mobile unit,

then maybe they would have caught it

early, and she'd still be here today.

Is that true?

Only a really small man would lie

about somethin' really big like that.

Now, am I the only one not ready

to give up on this mobile unit?

No.

Then what are we all waitin' for?

Gene Hackman to show up?

Let's go!

Hit it.

Where's Roy? He's supposed

to be reffin' this game.

Ate some bad clams.

All right.

Let's go, ladies! Let's go!

Yes!

Air ball.

Airhead!

One.

Whoo!

Come on. Pick it up!

Yeah! Kinda like shootin'

fish in a barrel!

Fight, fight, fight!

That one's mine, girls.

Hey!

Whoa!

Clemmy! Wide open!

Wide open!

What the...

God!

Yeah! Good one! Whoo-hoo!

Who would've thought that?

Oh!

Yes, sir!

There we go!

There we go!

I like that!

Nice pick, Jocelyn.

Good shootin', Millie.

All right. Here we go.

All right, ladies.

No mercy, all right?

Look, I don't wanna be comin'

back here for no game two.

All right. Come on, ladies.

We can do this!

If we don't get within 20 points,

the mobile unit is history.

Come on.

Hot Flashes on three!

One, two, three!

Hot Flashes!

Yeah!

Go, Florine!

Roxie! Put it in!

Go ahead! Go ahead!

Whoa!

Hit the rope! Come on!

Yeah!

- Yeah!

- Yes!

Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go, Florine. Come on!

Oh, my God.

Oh!

Yeah!

She tried to feel me up!

What'd she say?

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