The House of Yes Page #4

- It's very pretty.

- Well, I dressed for dinner.

Would you like a glass

of liebfraumilch?

No, thank you.

I'll just have a glass of wine.

- That's the name of the wine.

- Oh. I don't speak French.

- Who does?

- You do.

- Oh, that's right, I do.

- So, what does that name mean?

In French?

- I think it means something German.

- Oh.

It means,

"Loving mother's milk."

- You speak French?

- No, German.

Well, I know how to say "I love you"

in sign language.

- Let's see.

- Oh.

Cool.

Don't leave this girl alone

with any handsome deaf-mutes, Marty.

- That's my advice to you.

- Jackie.

Tell me, Lesly, have you ever been

to Washington before?

No.

Not even on a field trip?

Not even on a fifth-grade field trip?

No. I mean, my class went,

but I didn't go.

- In fifth grade, really?

- Sixth. Sixth grade.

So, you just snubbed it.

You just snubbed your nation's capital.

Um, my parents

wouldn't let me go.

- What's their number?

- What do you mean?

How could they have ruined a perfectly good

field trip? People like that burn me up.

- Don't they burn you up, Marty?

- They didn't have the money.

What a lie.

How much could it have cost?

- Too much.

- Were you poor? Did you eat chicken potpies?

Pancakes.

A lot of pancakes.

Pancakes.

Pancakes, Marty.

So, how did you pull yourself out?

Out of poverty, I mean.

I left Pennsylvania.

Well, that was a step

in the right direction, clearly.

Do they have paintings

in Pennsylvania?

- Jackie. Come here.

- Why?

- What do you think you're doing?

- What do you think you're doing?

- You said you were gonna be nice.

- Just trying to keep the conversation moving.

Just stop it.

I've never been to Pennsylvania.

I've never even met anyone who's been to

Pennsylvania, much less been from Pennsylvania.

No, Pennsylvania's just this state

that gets in your way...

when you have to go

someplace else.

Why do they call you

Jackie-O?

We went to

an Ides of March party.

I went as Jackie Onassis,

in a pink Chanel suit...

and a pillbox hat

and blood on my dress.

- Blood?

- Well, ketchup, mostly.

And other stuff too, like macaroni

kind of glued on like brains.

I don't think that's funny.

Nobody else did, either.

Nobody talked to me all night.

I talked to you.

Yes, you talked to me.

Marty, Jackie-O wants

a "drink" drink.

Let's drink rum and Pepsi out of

Styrofoam cups. Come on, Anthony darling.

Let's drink rum and Pepsi out of

Styrofoam cups. Bring us some ice!

- Oh, we're out of ice.

- How could we be out of ice?

Mama forgot to refill the trays.

I gave you the last cube.

- She's got a stash somewhere. I know it.

- The Pepsi's cold.

It's not the same. I'm not talking

about ice. I'm talking about texture.

I'm talking about texture.

In the last hurricane, we had ice.

Mama and Daddy had a bucket of ice

in a cooler down the hall.

We just marched down the hall

whenever we had a yen for ice!

A person

gets her heart set on a certain thing.

- Yes.

- A person gets her heart set on a certain thing.

And if a certain person can't have a certain

thing, a certain person goes insane.

I suppose you think I'm going insane

just to be fashionable.

- I don't think you're insane.

- You don't think I'm insane?

- No.

- You don't think I'm an eensy, weensy bit insane?

I don't think you're insane.

I think you're just spoiled.

Oh, please. If people are going to start

telling the truth around here, I'm going to bed.

- Does this happen a lot?

- Every goddamn hurricane.

We bought emergency candles.

They're right in the kitchen.

Anthony, did we remember

to buy emergency matches?

Nobody buys matches.

People find matches.

People buy matches,

Anthony, but not people like us.

- Oh, Mom.

- Thanks, Mom.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

Oh, this'll be fun. I've never had

Thanksgiving dinner by candlelight before.

- Oh, my God.

- What is it?

Dinner. Electric stove. Thanksgiving

dinner. I didn't even think.

- Oh.

- If I'd put in the turkey one hour earlier, we'd be impervious.

Does anybody want

cranberry sauce?

- Just cranberry sauce?

- You can eat it raw.

It's not really raw.

It's been precooked.

- Jackie, is that a drink you're drinking?

- This drink?

- Yes.

- No.

Anthony, is that a drink

she's drinking?

- It's liebfraumilch.

- Well, take it away from her.

- She said she switched medication.

- She's mistaken. Take it away.

- Jackie, you look tired. Why don't you go to bed.

- I get bored in bed.

Well, I'm going to bed, and I think

everyone should do the same.

- It's still early.

- There's no television and no food.

What else is there

to stay up for?

- Conversation.

- Oh, that.

That only gets you into trouble.

Take it from one who knows.

Hey, the Kennedys' generator

turned on their security lights.

I remember that. I used to take lessons.

- That was good.

- Can I have an at bat?

Mm-hmm.

Boy, it's been a long day.

Not as long as yesterday.

Yesterday was 24 hours.

- I meant with traveling.

- It's no easier staying in one place.

- Take it from one who knows.

- Are you being wise? I think you're being wise.

I knew it would happen one day.

I'd just wake up wise.

- One day I woke up stupid.

- You did?

- It was terrible.

- What did you do?

- I went back to sleep.

- That was wise.

I'm tired, Marty.

I-I'm going up.

- Are you coming up?

- Uh, soon.

Clean towels and a washcloth

are laid out on the bed.

Yell out if you need anything.

What?

- I did get your letter.

- Oh?

I've forgotten his name,

the one who was lousy in bed.

- Who was lousy in bed?

- But to be lousy in bed, you have to be in bed, don't you?

- Who was lousy in bed?

- That actor.

Peter? Peter was lousy in bed?

I can't believe it.

- Tell me about Peter, Anthony.

- Uh, he wears black.

And he has a gap between his teeth.

He has green eyes.

One eye is squinty.

Like sexy, not like disfigured.

He's in love with Jackie,

you can tell.

He gets to hold her coat for her, his heart

breaks into a million pieces on the floor.

So, Peter's in love

with Jackie-O?

- Don't use that word.

- What word?

Love. Love is for tiny people

with tiny lives.

No, Peter and I have

nothing in common.

Now, you and I, Marty,

have a great deal in common.

Parents. DNA.

Bone structure.

He doesn't look

like he'd be lousy in bed.

Anthony, we have something

to tell you.

Let's talk about Anthony. Let's express

some familial concern about Anthony.

- Now, Anthony, why aren't you at school?

- I dropped out.

- He dropped out.

- Yes, I know.

- Why did you drop out, Anthony?

- Why didn't you go off with her, Marty?

We're talking about you now.

We're expressing familial concern.

- No, you're not.

- We're not?

No, you're playing

the familial concern game.

Don't be so sincere, Anthony.

It's declasse.

I hear you crying at night

alone in your room.

I hear her crying at night

alone in her room.

You cry at night

alone in your room?

Hey, don't make fun of her.

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