The Iceman Cometh Page #9

on me.

Don't let me be

a wet blanket.

All I want

is to see you happy.

(dishes rattling)

Well, how's that, kid?

What the hell do I know

about flowers?

You can see they're pretty,

can't you, you big dummy?

Yeah, baby, sure,

if you like 'em,

they're all right with me.

Oh, Jees, Pearl!

Look at that cake, eh?

Come here,

look, six candles,

each for 10 years.

Oh...

when do we light

the candles, Rocky?

Ask that bughouse

Hickey.

"Just before Harry

come down," he says.

"Then Harry blows them out

with one breath, for luck."

(spits)

Hickey was gonna have

60 candles,

but I says "Jees, if the old guy

took that big a breath",

he'd croak himself."

Anyways, it's a nice cake,

ain't it?

Oh, sure,

it's all right by me.

But what is Harry

gonna do with a cake?

If he ever ate a hunk,

it'd croak him.

Jees, you're a dope!

Ain't he, Margie?

Yeah, dope is right.

You broads better watch

your step or I'll...

Or what?

Yeah, what, what?

Say, what the hell's

got into ya's?

It'll be 12:
00 o'clock and

Harry's birthday before long.

I ain't lookin'

for no trouble.

Oh, we ain't

neither, Rocky.

A guy what can't see

flowers is pretty

must be some dumbbell.

Yeah, well,

if I was as dumb as you...

Jees, you got your

scrappin' pants on, ain't you?

What the hell, baby,

what's eatin' you?

All I'm thinkin' is,

"What the hell

could Harry do with flowers?"

He don't know a cauliflower

from a geranium.

Jees,

ever since Hickeys woke up,

you can't hold him.

He's taken on the party

like it was his birthday.

Well, he's payin'

for everything, ain't he?

Aw, I don't mind

the birthday stuff so much.

What gets my goat

is the way he's buttin' in

all over the place,

tellin' everybody

where they get off.

He just keeps

hintin' around.

Yeah, he was hintin'

to me and Margie.

Yeah,

the lousy drummer.

He just gives you an earful

of that line of bull about

you gotta be honest

with yourself

and not kid yourself,

and you gotta have the guts

to be what you are.

I told him,

"That's all right

for the bums in this dump.

"But it don't go

with me, see?

I don't kid myself

with no pipe dreams."

What are you grinnin' at?

Nothin'.

Nothin'.

It better be nothin'!

And don't let Hickey

put no ideas in your nuts

if you wanna stay healthy.

He's ridin' someone

every minute.

He's got Harry

and Jimmy Tomorrow run ragged.

And the rest are hidin'

in their rooms,

so they don't won't

have to listen to him.

They're all actin' cagey

with the booze, too,

like they was scared

if they get too drunk,

they might spill

their guts.

And everybody's getting

a prize grouch on.

Yeah,

he's been hintin' around

to me and Chuck, too.

You-you'd think

he suspected me and Chuck

had no real intention

of gettin' married.

You'd think he suspected

Chuck wasn't goin' to lay off

of periodicals,

or maybe

didn't even want to.

I told him,

"I'm on the wagon for keeps,

and Cora knows it."

And I told him:

"Sure, I know it.

"And Chuck ain't never goin'

to throw it in my face.

"I was a tart, neither.

"And if you think

we're just kiddin' ourselves,

"we'll show ya!

We are gettin' married

tomorrow."

Ain't we, honey?

You bet, baby.

Christ, Chuck!

Are you lettin' that bughouse

louse Hickey kid you into...

Nobody's kiddin' him into it,

nor me neither!

Hickey's right,

if this big tramp's

goin' to marry me,

he ought to do it,

and not just shoot off

his old bazoo about it.

You can't be that dumb,

Chuck.

Rocky, you keep

outta this, you hear?

And don't start beefin' about

the crickets on the farm

drivin' us nuts.

Christ, you'd think

they was elephants!

Ah, Rocky,

don't notice that broad.

You heard what she said,

right?

"Tomorrow, tomorrow!"

The same old crap.

Is that so?

Uh.

Imagine Cora a bride!

That's a hot one!

Jees, Cora,

if all the guys you've

stayed with was side by side,

you could walk on 'em

from here to Texas!

You can't talk to me like that,

you skinny Dago hooker!

I may be a tart, but I ain't a

cheap old whore like you!

I'll show you

who's a whore!

(unintelligible

loud screaming)

Dago whore!

(yelling, screaming)

Oh, bury it!

What are you, a virgin?

You mean you think

I'm a whore, too?

Yeah, me, too?

Now don't start nothin'!

I suppose it'd tickle you

if me and Margie did

what that louse Hickey

was hintin',

and come right out

and admitted we was whores!

Yeah.

It's the truth, ain't it?

Jees, Rocky,

that's a fine hell of a thing

to say to two girls

that's been as good

to you as Pearl and Margie!

Oh, oh look,

I-I didn't mean

to call you that, Pearl.

No hard feelings,

Cora.

There,

that fixes everything,

don't it?

Okay, Rocky,

we're whores.

You know what

that makes you, don't you?

Look out, now!

A lousy little pimp,

that's what.

I'll loin you!

A dirty little Ginny pimp,

that's what!

Yes,

you provin' it to us,

Pearl!

Sure!

Hickey's converted him,

he's given up

his pipe dream.

Lay off of me or I'll...

Oh, lay off them!

Harry's party ain't no time

to beat up your stable.

Whose stable?

Who do you think

you're talkin' to?

I ain't never

beat 'em up!

What do you think I am?

I just give 'em a slap,

like any guy would his wife,

if she got too gabby.

I'm not lookin' for no trouble

on Harry's birthday party!

(gasps)

You lousy little Ginny!

I'll lay off you until

the party's over,

if Pearl will.

Sure I will...

For Harry's sake, not yours,

you little Wop!

Say, listen, you!

(laughing)

If you don't get

no wrong I...

What the hell

are you laughin' at,

you half-dead old

stew bum?

At himself,

and he ought to be.

Jees, Hickey's

sure got his number.

Wake up, comrade!

Here's a revolution

starting all around you,

and you're sleeping

through it!

Be God, it's not

to Bakunin's ghost

you ought to be

prayin' your dreams,

but to the great

nihilist, Hickey!

He started a movement

that'll blow up the world!

You, Larry!

Renegade!

Traitor!

I'll have you shot!

Don't be a fool,

buy me a drink.

(laughing maniacally)

Bourgeois swine, Hickey!

He laughs like good fellow,

he makes jokes.

He dares to hint to me,

so I see what

he dares to think!

He thinks I'm finish,

it is too late.

So I do not wish

the day to come

because it will

not be my day.

Ahh?

I see what he thinks!

He thinks lies

even worse,

that I...

I'll have him hanged

the first one of all

to the first lamppost!

(laughing maniacally)

Why you so serious,

you little monkey-faces?

It's all great joke,

no?

So we get drunk,

and we laugh like hell,

and then we die,

and the pipe dream vanish!

(laughing)

But be of good cheer,

little stupid peoples!

"The days grow hot,

O Babylon!"

Soon,

little proletarians,

we will have free picnic

in the cool shade,

and we will eat hot dogs

and drink free wine

beneath the willow trees!

Like hogs, yes!

Like beautiful,

little hogs!

Goddamned liar, Hickey!

It's he who makes me sneer.

I want to sleep!

Hickey ain't

overlookin' no bets.

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