The Importance of Being Earnest Page #7

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This afternoon, if you have

nothing better to do.

Surely, Mr. Worthing,

you've been christened already.

I don't remember

anything about it.

Of course, I don't know...

if the thing

would bother you in any way...

or if you think

that I'm a little too old now.

No, no, no.

Not at all, not at all.

The sprinkling

and, indeed, immersion...

of adults is

a perfectly canonical practice.

What hour would you wish

the ceremony performed?

I might trot round

at about six o'clock...

if that would suit you.

Oh, perfectly, perfectly.

Thank you.

But we cannot both be

christened Ernest.

It's absurd.

I have a perfect right

to be christened if I like.

But you've been christened

already.

Yes, but I haven't been

christened for years.

But you've been christened.

That is the important thing.

Quite so. So, I know

my constitution can stand it.

If you're not quite sure...

about your ever

having been christened...

I must say,

I think it rather dangerous...

your venturing on it now.

Oh, nonsense.

You are always talking nonsense.

Let us preserve

a dignified silence.

Certainly.

It's the only thing to do now.

The western wind

is blowing fair

Across

the dark Aegean Sea

And at the secret

marble stair

My Tyrian galley

waits for thee

Come down.

the purple sail is spread

The watchman sleeps

within the town

This dignified silence

seems to have produced...

an unpleasant effect.

A most distasteful one.

O lady mine, come down

Come down

Dum dum dum dum

Lady, come down

She will not come.

I know her well

Of lover's vows.

she hath no care

And little good

a man can tell

For one so cruel

and so fair

True love

is but a woman's toy

They never know

the lover's pain

And I who loved

as love's a boy

Must love in vain.

must love in vain

Come down

Lady, come down

Come down

Lady, come down

Lady, come down

We will not be

the first to speak.

Certainly not.

Mr. Worthing, I have something

very particular to ask you.

Much depends on your reply.

Gwendolen,

your common sense is invaluable.

Mr. Moncrieff, kindly answer me

the following question.

Why did you pretend to be

my guardian's brother?

In order that I might have

an opportunity of meeting you.

That certainly seems

a satisfactory explanation.

Yes, dear,

if you can believe him.

Well, I don't,

but that doesn't affect...

the wonderful beauty

of his answer.

True. In matters

of grave importance...

style, not sincerity,

is the vital thing.

Mr. Worthing,

what possible explanation...

can you offer me for

pretending to have a brother?

Was it in order that

you might have an opportunity...

of coming up to town to see me

as often as possible?

Can you doubt it, Miss Fairfax?

I have the gravest doubts

on the subject...

but I intend to crush them.

Their explanations appear

to be quite satisfactory, espe--

Especially Mr. Worthing's.

That seems to me to have

the stamp of truth upon it.

I am more than content

with what Mr. Moncrieff said.

His voice alone seemed to

inspire absolute credulity.

Then you think

we should forgive them?

Yes.

I mean, no.

True, there are principles

at stake...

that one cannot surrender.

Your Christian names are

still an insuperable barrier.

That is all.

-Our Christian names?

-Is that all?

We're going to be

christened this afternoon.

For my sake, you're prepared

to do this terrible thing?

I am.

To please me, you're ready

to face this fearful ordeal?

I am.

Where questions of

self-sacrifice are concerned...

men are infinitely beyond us.

-We are.

-Darling.

Darling.

-Lady Bracknell.

-Gwendolen!

What does this mean?

Merely that I am engaged to be

married to Mr. Worthing, Mama.

Come here.

Sit down.

Sit down immediately.

Of course, you will

clearly understand, sir...

that all communication between

yourself and my daughter...

must cease immediately

from this moment.

On this point, as indeed

on all points, I am firm.

I am engaged to be married

to Gwendolen, Lady Bracknell.

You are

nothing of the kind, sir.

And now, as regards Algy...

Algy?

Yes, Aunt Augusta.

May I ask if it is

in this house...

that your invalid friend

Mr. Bunbury resides?

Oh, no,

Bunbury doesn't live here.

Bunbury's somewhere else

at the present.

In fact, um, ahem...

Bunbury is dead.

-Dead?

-Dead.

When did Mr. Bunbury die?

His death must've been

extremely sudden.

Bunbury died this afternoon.

What did he die of?

Bunbury?

He was quite exploded.

Exploded?

Mm.

Was he the victim

of some revolutionary outrage?

I was not aware that

Mr. Bunbury was interested...

in social legislation.

My dear Aunt Augusta,

I mean he was found out.

The doctors found out

that Bunbury could not live.

That is what I mean.

So Bunbury died.

He seems to have had

great confidence...

in the opinion

of his physicians.

I am glad, however,

that he made his up mind...

at the last to some

definite course of action...

and acted under

proper medical advice.

And now that we have finally

got rid of this Mr. Bunbury...

may I ask, Mr. Worthing,

who is that young person...

whose hand my nephew Algernon

is now holding...

in what seems to me to be

a peculiarly unnecessary manner?

That lady is

Miss Cecily Cardew, my ward.

Yes, I am engaged

to be married to Cecily, Aunt Augusta.

I beg your pardon?

Mr. Moncrieff and I

are engaged to be married, Lady Bracknell.

I do not know

whether there's anything...

peculiarly exciting

about the air...

of this particular part

of Hertfordshire...

but the number of engagements

that go on seem to me...

to be considerably above

the proper average...

that statistics have laid down

for our guidance.

Mr. Worthing...

is Miss Cardew

at all connected...

with any of the larger

railway stations in London?

I merely desire information.

Until recently,

I was not aware...

that there were

any families or persons...

whose origin was a terminus.

Gwendolen, the time approaches

for our departure.

We have not a moment to lose.

As a matter of form,

Mr. Worthing, I'd better ask...

if Miss Cardew

has any little fortune.

Oh, about 130,000

in the funds, that is all.

Good-bye, Lady Bracknell,

so pleased to have seen you.

A moment, Mr. Worthing.

A hundred and thirty thousand

pounds?

And in the funds?

Miss Cardew seems to me to be

a most attractive young lady...

now that I look at her.

Come over here, dear.

The chin a little higher, dear.

Style largely depends

on the way the chin is worn.

They're worn very high

just at present.

-Algy?

-Yes, Aunt Augusta.

There are distinct

social possibilities...

in Miss Cardew's profile.

Cecily is the sweetest,

dearest, prettiest girl...

in the whole world,

and I don't give tuppence...

for her social possibilities.

Never speak disrespectfully

of society, Algernon.

Only people who can't

get into it do that.

Dear child,

you know, of course...

that Algy has nothing

but his debts to depend upon.

But I do not approve

of mercenary marriages.

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