The Impostors Page #3

Welcome aboard, Mr. Sparks.

Congratulations

on your last match.

Thank you very much, good fella.

Ow.

Do you feel that grip?

I do, sir. I do.

Powerful enough to snap

the neck of a small beast...

and yet sensitive enough...

to caress the tender throat

of a young castrato...

coax a song from him.

Good for you.

That is why I win.

I'm sure it is, sir.

Enjoy your voyage.

Oh, I will. I will.

I'll help you with your bags.

Mrs. Essendine,

it's a pleasure to see you.

How delighted we were to see

your name on the passenger list.

And I was sorry to hear about

the death of your husband.

He was the most generous of men.

That he was. That he was.

Wait. Wait.

Can this be Emily?

She has blossomed so.

Thank the gentleman, Emily.

Thanks.

Stewards. Stewards.

Give us a hand here, please.

Gentlemen, is there a problem?

- I have it, Arthy.

- Oh, OK. Thank you.

Thank you.

Ohh!

- Aah!

- Ohh!

Ohh.

OK.

OK.

Excuse me.

Are you lost?

- Yes.

- No.

Do you work on this ship?

I'm innocent.

I'm not a thespian thug.

I'm a good man.

Can you help us?

Please, ma'am?

The ship's about to leave.

All ashore

that are going ashore!

All ashore

that are going ashore!

There is desperation

in these little footsteps.

Lily, your cheeks are flushed.

Your breasts heave.

May I ask where is the fire?

No, there's no fire, Meistrich.

A passenger needs help.

Oh?

Two minutes to departure?

I don't recall hiring you two.

I didn't, either,

but, you know...

Stewards!

It appears my steamer is stuck.

I require some assistance.

Unless, of course,

you're all too busy...

like every other bloody steward

on this bloody ship!

Absolutely, sir.

Move!

Very good.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Hang on. There you go.

Thank you very much.

Now, haven't I seen

you two boys before?

Are you sure?

Weren't you employed once

on the S.S. Normandy?

- Ooh!

- Ooh!

It's you! It's you!

Halt!

Psst! Psst!

OK, who are you?

- We're actors.

- Actors?

- Just actors.

- Actors.

Would I have seen you

in anything?

- Maybe.

- Possibly.

Movie actors?

No, not yet.

Jane? Put it in 13.

OK.

We're of the theater.

We're seeking

new representation.

OK.

- Why are you stowaways?

- We're not.

- We hid in a crate last night.

- Escaping from the police.

For something that we did to

that man that was an accident.

- He's famous.

- He's a hack!

He's overrated.

Oh, you're the ones

he was talking about!

But we're innocent.

- I swear we didn't do anything.

- We couldn't hurt a fly.

- We never meant it.

- He's a big baby.

We were at a bar.

We drank too much...

admittedly so. Admittedly so.

But I just was

expressing an opinion...

it's a free country...

and he attacked us physically.

- The man is an animal.

- He attacked us.

Please, you have

to help us get off this boat.

We'll do anything for you.

Please?

Will you please take us home?

OK. I believe you.

Thank you.

What are your names?

My name's Lily.

All...

aboard!

- Paris?

- Yes.

That's the first stop?

Paris!

The smoky cafes...

the Seine at dawn...

the clatter of the horses'

hooves on the cobblestone...

the little ecole

where I studied so hard...

the musk of the people...

the cri de la revolution.

- You know Paris quite well.

- He's never been there.

Not physically.

Someone's coming. In here.

Too small.

Too small, too small.

- We gotta go.

- Shh.

No. You can't leave.

He's slightly claustrophobic.

It's OK, it's OK.

Shh, shh.

These men

are vicious, inexorable dogs!

What do you propose

we do about it, Captain?

- About what?

- The stowaways.

- Stowaways? Where?

- Oh, good God.

The two actors, sir.

We must find them.

Yes, yes! Marco!

Marco, go find them!

Si, capitaine.

- Apprehend them.

- Find them.

- Imprison them.

- Torture them.

Everything. On your way.

I want them dead or alive. Go.

- But...

- But what?

I could never kill anyone.

- You'll f***ing learn.

- It's really not that hard.

Marco.

Ohh! Ohh! Aah! I'm sorry.

What are you doing

with this gun?

I'm sorry.

I have to find the stowaways.

- Dead or alive.

- What?

Yeah.

They want them really dead.

Marco, don't hurt the stowaways.

I don't want to.

I mean, I couldn't.

I know.

You could never.

Lily, I wanted to say before...

I mean, earlier...

that I think you...

are my...

You...

Marco, stop.

- I'm sorry.

- It's OK.

The stowaways are...

Still missing.

Come with me, inspector.

Not a moment to lose.

One of my men

tried to soil your reputation.

I have corrected him.

But may I ask

where you have been?

Looking for the stowaways

like you, and I'm exhausted.

I will crush them

for causing you pain.

Oh.

The danger of the chase

has made you perspire.

It has made me also...

moist.

- Lily.

- Not now.

Meistrich,

there's still so much to do.

You are so right, diligent Lily.

Forgive me.

Until tonight.

Shoot. Arthur,

we got to find a bigger room.

OK.

Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Ohh.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Ohh!

Ohh.

- In here.

- Ah, gentlemen!

Gentlemen, come in, come in.

Don't be shy. Don't be shy.

We are all men, are we not?

Men, men, men.

Where are your strapping

colleagues with my bags?

No trouble. Gives us more time

to get acquainted.

The male figure, gentlemen...

something to be very proud of.

It is beautiful,

and it is powerful.

Should be often exhibited...

and always, always celebrated.

Mmm.

Why, in ancient Greece...

Are either of you Greek?

No.

Well, yes.

Actually, I'm half Greek.

Top half or bottom half?

I jest, I jibe.

Perhaps we should wrestle

sometime.

Do you like

the taut roundness...

that exercise

brings to the buttocks?

Yeah.

Do you enjoy the warmth

of the Mediterranean sun...

on that selfsame place?

I once wrestled a man

on the steps of the Acropolis...

when the sun

was at its height...

wearing only what God sent me

into the world with.

Can you picture that?

That's where we'll wrestle,

my semi-Grecian lad.

That's where

I'll make a man of you.

OK, well, um...

it's been a real pleasure

meeting you.

We do have to go now.

We have a lot to do

on the ship...

as stewards on the ship...

and, um, thank you very much.

Um, good luck.

See you around the ship, lads.

Oh, my God.

- Bon voyage.

- Bon voyage.

- What do you want?

- Oh, sorry.

- What?

- Mr. Franks.

Sorry I gotta rush you.

We need you for rehearsal.

I got your bag.

Hey, wait, wait!

Hey, hey, hey, wait!

This one's open.

Come on, quick. Come on.

Oh, good. You are here

to fix the gramophone.

I don't know what

I was going to be doing...

if you did not come by.

I am not in the habit

of fixing things.

I was listening to the music...

and then there was no more

functioning, only silence.

And when

she was singing no more...

I got so excited,

I tried to pull it...

but I scratched it,

and I hurt it.

You did hurt it.

Yes.

Well, You shouldn't pull it.

No, I know.

I am now realizing this.

Good.

We will fix your gramophone...

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