The In-Laws Page #8

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I hate to go through this thing|without at least the option of a blindfold!

You won't forget I did this?

We're supposed to have cigarettes.

If you know my heart, as you say you|do... But it's been simple negligence...

- What was that?|- A cigarette!

- I don't smoke.|- This isn't lit.

My cigarette isn't...

- Am I shot? Am I shot?|- I don't know.

- Get down!|- What?

- Get down.|- I can't hear you.

Can you get down?

- Get down! Are you down?|- Yeah!

- Move!|- I can try.

Are you moving? Keep moving!

- Vince?|- Barry?

Get up.

Shel, we can get up now.

Where were you?|We almost croaked here!

- Traffic was brutal.|- You knew he was coming?

Shelley Kornpett?

Barry Lutz.

- We talked on the phone.|- Sorry about the runaround.

I'm sure you understand now.|Where are the engravings?

He's got a vault behind a tiger painting.|We almost got killed!

- You made all that up about him?|- We had to keep you in the dark.

- Vince, the money?|- It's over here. The whole schmeer.

- And we got another 10...|- And it's in thousands. Stacks of 50.

- There's more. We got...|- Yeah, a lot more to the story, Barry.

- Beautiful.|- There is 10 million more! I give him 20!

- Of course you did, general.|- It's true. This bandido has another 10!

Get him out of here.

Guys, you did fantastic work.

- Relieved?|- Oh, yes.

- Great feeling, ain't it?|- Yes, it is.

We'd love to stay and schmooze but|our kids are getting married tomorrow.

I couldn't be happier for both of you.

- So I won't see you until Wednesday?|- Wednesday?

We have a date in Peru.

I don't think so.

Sorry to run, but we gotta catch a plane.

Hey, wait a minute.

What do you mean?|You're quitting the agency?

I've had it. My kid's getting married.|There's gonna be grandchildren.

- I'm tired. It's over.|- Take a desk job.

No, that's not for me.

I'll tell you something else,|I don't believe in this crap anymore.

It used to be like cowboys and Indians.|Now...

I almost died for the international|monetary system. What the hell is that?

The family took a vote.|We want him out of this.

You can make it on your pension?

I'll give it a shot.

Mom, we cannot wait any longer!

- They called from the airport hours ago.|- I know!

Well, you look so pretty.

What did Dad pull this time?

Tommy, why do you always assume|it's your father's fault?

Of course it's his fault.

- I'll never forgive him!|- Carol, what should we do?

- Let's go. Maybe they'll make lunch.|- Such a shame.

- What did you say?|- I said it's such a shame!

Holy sh*t.

Sorry we're late, folks.

What a day. What a guy.|What an entrance!

- Off we go, Shel.|- Vince, I didn't think you'd make it!

- Okay, let's do it!|- Thanks for waiting.

- Two days. We were crazy.|- Everything's terrific.

You look wonderful.|I'm great. You'll never know how great.

- Honey, we have to start.|- Give the orchestra five minutes to tune.

Orchestra?|Sylvia Jacobs is playing the piano.

- We have an orchestra.|- Be serious.

We have Carmen Dragon|and the Paramus Philharmonic.

Listen.

Oh, my God!

Dad, where the hell have you been?

Well, you're really a man now, Tom.

Remember how we'd play ball|on Nagle Avenue?

We never played ball on Nagle Avenue.|We talked about it, but...

Well, maybe this'll make it up to you.

This is from Shelley and me.

Barbara got one too.

This is a million dollars!

- Lf it's not enough, I'll give you more.|- I finally impressed my son.

- Daddy, is this all from root canals?|- Well, that and lectures.

Oh, my God. I knew it.

- I could feel it coming. This is it.|- Hang loose.

Let me do the talking.

Hey, Bar.

What a nice surprise.

I didn't think you'd be happy to see me.|Frankly, I'm shocked and disappointed.

- Barry, it's very simple.|- It's simple. We counted wrong.

- Wait inside.|- I'd like your daughter to be here.

- What is this about?|- Your father-in-law and I...

...worked together for 10 years,|laying our lives on the line.

- Will you listen to me?|- We just made a mistake...

He doesn't even invite me|to his own son's wedding.

- In the counting of the invitations.

We got mixed-up.|I remember Vince wanted to invite you.

You know how it is with the family,|uncles, aunts, cousins...

Get out of here.|Can't you tell when I'm ribbing you?

Here's a little something from the boys|at the agency, a $50 savings bond.

- Isn't that nice?|- I'll put it here for safekeeping.

- Why don't we...?|- Well, let's have a seat.

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