The Inbetweeners 2 Page #8

- I mean, it looked horrific.

- You were covered in sh*t, yeah?

- Yeah.

But at the same time, it was literally the

funniest thing I've seen. We all loved it!

If it made you laugh, maybe

it was worth getting conjunctivitis.

You're mental!

So what do you wanna do later, then?

Drink? Bite to eat?

Sea kayaking, zip lining, bungee?

- Will, come on. You've gotta pack.

- I am talking, Simon.

- Sorry about that.

- Pack? What? You can't leave!

The gang'll be gutted.

No, you're not actually leaving, are you'?

- Yes.

- Well, nothing's finalised.

But it's the songline ceremony tonight.

Look, it's perfect for you, Will.

It's incredibly spiritual.

We're going to the outback.

Will should be packing up now.

OK, well, if you're busy,

I'll leave you to it.

No, Katie, I'm not busy.

I apologise for my friend. He's very rude.

Now, tell me about sea kayaking.

It's amazing. They've got these

kayaks, right, that go in the sea.

- No way!

- It's absolutely unbelievable.

Simon, this was not an

agreed time for Skype.

Lucy, listen,

do you know where Jane is staying?

Of course I do. Simon, we need

to talk about photographers.

You'll have to take out

another student loan.

Christ. Really?

Right, fine, whatever.

Can you just get me her address?

- And I've asked Pete to be your best man.

- Aren't I meant to decide that?

Ail your friends are massive

d*cks, except Pete.

It's Pete or no-one.

Great, fine. It's Pete.

Now, I need that address.

- Pete's been amazing.

- Yeah, Pete's amazing. Please, Lucy.

Thanks, mate. I am amazing. G'day.

- Pete.

- Surprise.

How are things down under?

And I don't mean your horrible balls.

- Ha-ha. You've got horrible balls.

- You actually have, though.

- Banter.

- So, go on. How is it, then?

Not been eaten by a shark yet, worse luck?

Thank you. Yeah, some best man you are!

I'm the best of the best, mate. You know

it. I should be called the brilliant man.

Yeah! Listen, mate, we're

in a bit of a rush.

OK.

So she's staying at

Bewley Stud Farm near Birdsvilie.

I don't have the exact address because

they pick up the post from the town hotel.

- So what's the house number?

- I told you, I don't have it.

It's a massive farm, you div.

You'll find it.

- Yeah, you div.

- Of course.

Over and out, Captain Kirk.

- Did you get it?

- Yeah.

She's at a stud farm near Birdsville.

That's me f***ed. If she's at a stud farm,

then she'll have her pick.

I've got no chance. I've lost her!

Um, a stud farm's where they breed horses.

Yes, I know.

I'm just saying, she really likes horses.

You won't need a life vest

in the car, Will. It's dry.

- Get that off. We're leaving.

- I'm staying here.

- Don't be a dick. Just get in the car.

- No. I'm staying for a bit.

Then I'll do some real travelling

with people who do it properly.

Those tools in there?

They think you're a twat.

And I've met someone I like who likes me.

Will, be careful. Jay told me muff before

mates is actually a crime in Australia.

You think you're my mates?

You don't do any of the things I like,

you don't talk about things I like

and you sh*t on my face.

- Why would I come with you?

- I only sh*t on your face once.

I'm not sure how much clearer I

can make it. I'm not coming.

Fine. F*** you.

We'll go to Birdsville without you.

You're being stupid.

You got dumped, just like I got dumped,

just like Simon will probably get dumped...

Sorry, I mean divorced.

Get over it and be realistic.

Chasing a girl round Australia isn't

romantic, it's extreme stalking.

That's exactly what you're doing to Katie.

- Grow up, Simon.

- You grow up.

I am grown up. You should grow up.

- Really? Grow up.

- I am. You're not. So grow up.

That's grown up. Grow up!

- Yeah, you should.

- We'll see who's grown up, won't we?

- Grow up.

- Grow up!

- Grow up!

- Grow... up!

Grow up.

I feel a bit sad. Can I drive?

- Yeah, sure.

- And can I be best man?

No, it's f***ing Pete.

Rattlesnake Highway

Here's your f***ing bag!

Grow up!

Off they went, the idiots.

Good riddance to them.

I was gonna have an authentic

experience sea kayaking.

And at least if I drowned,

and it looked like I might drown,

people could say,

"He died doing what he did best:

Making a twat of himself

in front of a girl."

F***! F***!

Aa-aargh!

Aaagh!

Whoaagh! Waagh!

A-wob a-bob bob?

- What?

- I said, what time is it now'?

No, you f***ing didn't.

You said, "A-wob a-bob bob."

- Are you sure you're OK to drive?

- Yeah, fine.

Although I think I might cry again.

- Is it far now?

- No, it's only about...

400 miles. You can make

that, can't you, Neil?

Course. Got a system.

Maybe we should stop for a bit.

Now we have cleansed the area

with sound, we can begin.

We are sitting on songlines,

the ancient lines of power

that cross Australia.

Can you feel the connection?

- Yeah.

- It's amazing.

We carry a great responsibility.

What we say here before the fire,

we transmit out, on the songlines,

to the rest of the planet.

Let's help heal the world by throwing

all the world's negativities onto the fire.

Each think of a negativity and burn it.

What's your negativity?

- Narrow-mindedness.

- Good.

Stephen?

God, where to start?

I'm just a seeker, a searcher, but...

present in this moment,

away from the past, away from

a military father who I love so much

but Daddy wasn't around,

and away from a distant mother.

But I'm here now,

in the now, not there.

Just wondering how to tell Mummy

what hugs mean.

She asked what negativity

you want to throw on the fire.

Right. Yeah, cool.

- Conformity.

- Excellent.

- Really good.

- What's your negativity, brother'?

Erm...

- Come on.

- Erm...

- negativity.

- Yes. Which one?

Just negativity.

Remember, we can help heal the whole world.

- Pass.

- Pass?

Maybe you should just

tell me the right answer.

There's no right answer.

Clearly there is, though.

Raw Pot Noodle, anyone?

Not bad, but a bit crunchy.

I reckon I'll probably propose

to Jane when I see her.

What about the Thai bird

you told me you were seeing?

The black belt at firing

Ping-Pong balls out of her fanny.

Her?

Yeah, no, she had to go back to Vietnam.

- Thailand.

- Thailand.

Yeah, no, Jane's the one.

I'll be married, and you'll be married, Si.

- Yeah.

- So we can go on double dates and stuff.

Yeah. Lucy's not that bad, really. Maybe

being married to her will be all right.

- It will be.

- Gotta be easier than breaking up with her.

She's microwaved my PlayStation.

- Della?

- Um...

- Racism.

- I hate that.

Ben?

- Negative thoughts.

- Good.

How is that different to "negativity"?

Will, please, just respect the songlines.

- Kristian.

- Racial hatred.

Yeah, already had that one, Kris.

- What?

- We've had that.

Think of another one.

So you think racial hatred is a good thing?

You know I'm not saying that, Ben.

She said, "Racism."

He said, "Racial hatred." Pick another.

Will, there's no right or wrong answers.

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