The Infidel Page #7

of the al-masri name.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yes. Yes.

For example,

a small internet search reveals

That you once wrote a letter

to the local paper

Calling on muslims

to be more "moderate."

Yeah, listen, that whole shia

"shite" thing -- misprint.

You know, I got really upset

about that.

Moderation is, of course,

a good thing...

In moderation.

[ chuckles ]

[ laughter ]

But...This western idea

Of the "moderate muslim" --

That idea

I completely reject!

But then,

I saw how you had changed.

How do you mean?

Tariq.

[ crowd chanting "burn it" ]

What are you doing

there, daddy?

Yes, nabi,

good question.

Yes.

Tariq:
We've put the film

on our website.

You have?

and counting.

Insha'allah.

Arshad:
Insha'allah.

What mahmud is doing, nabi,

is demonstrating

That even a liberal,

moderate muslim

Can only be stretched

so far.

Am I right, mahmud?

Absolutely.

So, uzma and rashid,

I give their marriage

my blessing.

Let us celebrate.

Please, sing for us,

brother arshad.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Brother arshad has

a beautiful singing voice.

Ah.

Not really.

Please, arshad sahib, we would

all love to hear you sing.

Well, well, well,

just a little nasheed

That my mother taught me.

[ clearing throat ]

[ singing in arabic ]

[ doorbell ringing ]

Uh, I-I'll go and get that.

I'm sorry.

That was very nice.

I was really enjoying that.

[ indistinct shouting ]

Mr. Nasir?

You are under arrest

on suspicion

Of having performed actions

in contravention

To the racial and religious

hatred act of 2006.

Yeah.

How dare you gatecrash

my twins' big day, huh?!

What were you

planning to do,

Put anthrax

in the smoked salmon sushi?!

Come on, now,

mr. Nasir.

Yes, yes. Sorry.

What is this man guilty of,

exactly...

[ indistinct shouting ]

...When the jewish-controlled

western media

Produces offensive

islamophobic blasphemies?!

[ crowd boos ]

Shouldn't a muslim speak out

about the treatment

Of his brothers

by the zionist oppressors?!

He wasn't speaking out!

What happened to your precious

freedom of expression,

You hypocrites?!

Whatever.

Burning a jew's hat,

I'm afraid,

Constitutes

religious hatred.

I must warn you, sir,

anything you say

Will be taken down and used

as evidence against you.

Anything?

Yes, sir. Everything.

[ crowd chanting "mahmud" ]

[ indistinct shouting ]

[ wind howling ]

I'm jewish!

Monty:
What?

What?

What?

I'm sorry.

What's that, sir?

I'm jewish.

I was born a jew.

I just found out.

I was adopted...

By muslims.

Uzma!

Well, I suppose that's

all right, then, sir.

Well, is it?

Well, yeah.

I mean, it's like

that jackie mason fella.

He can take the piss out of jews

'cause he's a jew.

Wouldn't arrest him for it,

would we?

This is clearly nonsense,

officer.

He doesn't

even look jewish.

Yes, he does.

What are you talking about?

He's basically a schvartse.

Rashid:
Dad.

It's true. I'm sorry.

No, no, no, please.

Come on.

[ indistinct shouting ]

Uzma!

Uzma!

Get inside, get inside.

All right,

the rest of you,

Could you all kindly f*** off

my premises!

He's a live one,

isn't he?

[ engine turns over ]

what do you mean?

How was I inciting

racial hatred?

Schvartse, sir.

I heard you say it.

How do you even know

what it means?!

Rash --

No.

Rashid!

At least

I'm not a shia.

[ blues harmonica plays ]

whoo

Nabi.

Something at school today?

Infidel.

For crying out loud.

[ television turns on ]

I'm jewish!

I was born a jew.

Jesus, moses, and allah.

I just found out.

I was adopted.

[ indistinct shouti ng ]

Matthew:
There were

some astonishing scenes there.

Well,

what do we make of them?

Matthew,

I think that this guy

Is multiculturalism

made flesh.

He's a hero for our times,

Somebody that we have to

use as a way --

This is the way

we need to go forward.

We need to look at people

like this and say,

"yes, you're proud

and I'm proud of what you are.

You might look

a certain way --"

Not what I would say,

If you were in his shoes,

the poor guy.

Man:
It's not something

that looked to me like...

Hey, guys.

Hey, mahmud.

I think this is where

we're being very naive.

[ television turns off ]

How's it going?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

good.

Yeah, yeah,

right, yeah?

Doing lovely, sir,

good.

You all right?

Where's wasif?

Um...

Handed in his notice.

Is there anyone else

who can do his job?

You need someone

who really knows the roads.

All right, well, I...

I might just...Work from home

today, then, shall I?

Yeah. G-good idea.

I'll go --

I'll go make some calls.

Some...

This.

Mahmud.

Things will work out.

Insha'allah.

What are you doing?

I'm going to stay

with my mum.

No, no. Just put it away.

Just stay.

Let -- let go.

How long

are you staying?

I don't know.

Because I'm a jew?

No, mahmud,

because you lied to me --

Something you promised

you would never do.

[ car door opens ]

Nabi:
Daddy!

Hey, my baby girl.

Hey.

Daddy?

Yes?

What is a jew?

Well,

you know that nasty man

On "the apprentice"

with the beard?

[ horn honking ]

get in the car.

And why did some naughty man

put dog poo through our door

Because you are one?

Hurry up!

Who did that?

I'll kill him.

F***ing kill him.

Rashid:

Excuse me, dad.

Yeah, but that's --

It doesn't matter

what those morons think.

[ horn honking ]

rashid, hurry up!

I loved her, dad.

I love her.

Rashid!

I know. I know, son.

And I can explain.

You don't understand.

My dad, my real dad --

to get to him,

I've got to try and prove

that I'm some kind of --

Where's my dad?

Where's my real dad?

[ car door closes,

engine revs ]

[ camera shutter clicking ]

Enough already!

[ indistinct conversation ]

Get away, man.

[ sniffling ]

[ vehicle passing,

horn blaring ]

F*** off!

Come on, my friend.

Here we go.

Up. There.

We got you.

Leytonstone, huh?

Golders green.

Golders green?

Yeah.

All right.

I want to see

izzy shimshileewitz.

You can't.

Why not?

Well, for one thing,

it's not visiting hours.

And for another...

I've done it, okay?

I've told the world.

Whoo-hoo.

I'm a fat old jew.

Have you had

your pound of flesh?

Huh? Have I jumped

through enough jew hoops?

Have I ruined my muslim life

enough for you?!

He can't stop --

not this prayer.

He's not allowed to.

It's jewish law.

Oh, really?

Oh, well, then I can go in here

whenever I f***ing like, eh?

Eh? Whoo-hoo.

Look, I'm in. I'm out.

I'm in. I'm out.

Mahmud.

I'm really sorry.

But it's a prayer

for the dead.

I'm so sorry.

Died a couple of hours ago.

He got your letter, though,

your package.

I didn't send anything.

Perhaps you'd like to go in,

sit in his room for a bit.

I know some of our recently

bereaved relatives

That can help

a little.

Thank you.

F***!

[ clattering ]

[ music box chiming ]

[ sighs ]

[ television turns on ]

Mahmud:
I'm jewish!

I was born a jew.

I was adopted...

By muslims.

[ bird chirping ]

Mahmud, I-I'm --

I'm -- I'm sorry, man.

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