The Inspector General Page #7

ride the gypsy.

The world thinks him tipsy and

careless and free....

But oh the poor gypsy....

his lot is not, what a heart should

be.

night and day and day and night

there's a man with a whip....

in his hand, over gypsy he stands

and this is what he says....

Crawl gypsy, sing gypsy, dance

gypsy, laugh gypsy.....

cry gypsy, live gypsy, die gypsy.

Drink!

Drink to good-byes and drink to

hellos.

Drink you alone with thine eyes and

I will drink with my nose.

And so he drinks!

But first we sing.

How can you sing gypsy song without gypsy

chorus? Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you a

little favor and we have a chorus.

It will sound beautiful, wonderful.

I will give you a little "b". All right?

Very nice, but we get a little

sharper, a little more nose.

Very nice, now short huh? I like it.

Once more please. Very pretty.

This group here, I will make for you

stock, stock. Please? Everybody

understand, stock, stock.

Very nice.

NO I DIDN'T MAKE IT YET!

Please, I didn't make it yet. Small

stock, stock. Very nice.

Loud. I'll be with you in two

minutes.

This little group here, I would like

you to make me a favor with all

your sweet gentle little faces.

Make for me ha, ha, ha. This way,

all right, please everybody.

Wonderful. Now everybody please

once again.

Very pretty. I love you to pieces.

Please

- Want something to drink, maybe?

- No thank-you Excellency.

And so we drink.

But first we play.

Pardon me, I slipped my bow. My

fingers need a reason.

I like it.

Makes me cry.

Who me?

And so we drink.

But first we dance.

Pardon me.

And so we drink to eveything we

love.

To everyone we admire.

To the girl who sets your heart a

glow, and sets your heart on fire.

And so we drink.

I like it.

Will you excuse me ladies, I have

something...

- I beg your pardon Your Excellency.

- I hope you are enjoying the

evening. Yes, I ah, very much.

Lisa?

Why you clumsy ox. What's the

matter with you, are you crazy?

You could have killed me with that.

Why do you have to work so late at

night, anyway? Whatever you

have to chop can wait til morning can't it?

Now go on to bed. I have to meet

someone here. Go on.

- Aren't you The Inspector General?

- Yeah. That doesn't mean I can't

meet anybody here, does it?

- No?

- You don't believe it do you?

-Read that!

- "Don't go near the barn."

- "They're going to kill you."

- Yeah, and only two hours ago she....

Would you read that again please.

It says, "Don't go near the barn,

they're going to kill you."

Yakov.....My best friend.

- Where's your master?

- My master?

-How did it?

- You know how.

Now gentlemen, let's get down to business.

For a price, I'll get rid of the evidence.

The money.

- I don't think I want any supper.

-Oh no.

- What are you doing Yakov?

Where are you going?

- Get away from me.

Georgi, I'm your best friend.

- Where are we going?

- To get the organ.

Make way for The Inspector

General.

Make way for The Inspector

General!

- What did he say?

- It must have been an eccho.

Attention! Announcing the

Emissary of The Emporer.

General Leopold Nikolai Tarantino, His

Excellency, The Inspector General.

He took bribes, he drank all my

wine, he yelled out the window , he

even made love to my wife.

How could I doubt that he was The

Inspector General. I mean, he gave us no

chance to think of deception Your Majesty.

- Isn't that right Gizzy? Izzy, he's Gizzy.

- You can always tell by the

strawberry mark on my leg.

Why it's as big as a....

- I'm Gizzy, he's Izzy.

- Silence! Excuse us Your Excellency.

Well Mayor, I want that tramp.

Send out every man available.

Meanwhile, I will write out an order

for his excecution.

He'll hang today Your Excellency, l

promise you that. Test the gallows.

- I'm Izzy, then he is....

- SILENCE!

Citizens, here is the organ. The

one that was stolen. We gave them

money and....

I'll see you in a minute. Here, take

the organ to the church and I'll be

back in a minute.

Come on men, I may need you.

Follow me.

Wait here. Ten hut! Oh, never

mind that.

I'm glad I found all of you

gentlemen together. This town is

going to be cleaned up from top to bottom.

- This is The Inspector General. - Yes,

Mr. Mayor, I would like you all to know

that the corruption in this city is at an end.

I want a complete and honest report

from you and a complete and

honest report of your tax records.

And a report from you in the

morning. Who is this man? Tell

him to get out, this is official business.

Mr. Mayor! In the name of The Emporer,

I call upon you to produce all the tax records

and books of this village immediately.

Permit me to interrupt. Let me

show you this communciation which

has just arrived.

- Silly girl. And now to business.

- You filthy bag of bones, this is The

Inspector General.

How do you do? We must have a

long talk together sometime. I want

to look at all these books...

Inspector General?

Open up the cell. Hurry man.

Guards.

Take them away. This is what I.

Two hangings at once.

You'll regret this you fat-faced

villiage idiot! Take your hands off

me you misbegotten peasants.

The Emporer will tear this stinking

village down over your ears.

Heads will roll here like marbles,

and yours first. And this flea-ridden

sack of nothing, you call Inspector General.

This isn't The Inspector General,

don't make me laugh.

The Great Emporer wouldn't

appoint such a thing like this, to a

position so important.

This is your Inspector General here!

His courage, his manner, his

bearing. Gentlemen take your choice.

- I don't know what to think. -You don't

have to think. If this man is The Inspector

General, then were are his credentials?

- Where are yours? Come on show

them, they have a right to see.

- Come on and show them.

Produce them. Here they are, see?

Your Excellency.

I would like to take this opportunity

to tender my resignation.

I'm so sorry Your Excellency. It was

our mistake. The imposter will hang!

- This is preposterious!

- If Your Excellency will be so good

to write out the death warrant.

- Arrest that man.

- I'm warning you, I'm warning all of

you. This will be reported to The Emporer.

Lock him up!

- I can't do it.

- Why not?

For one thing, I can't write. I can't

read either.

And even if I could write, I wouldn't

sign his death warrant.

- I'm not The Inspector General.

- He's just soft-hearted, here I'll sign it.

You can't it's all over. I couldn't sign

this. That man is completely innocent.

I only did it to get the money to buy

the organ back.

Lock them up, put them in chains,

send them to the gallows. Oh Your

Excellency, I'm so sorry.

Why this has never happened in

Brodny before. I can assure you

that they will go to the gallows, Your Excellency.

-The gallows will wait its turn, but

not now.

- But Your Excellency....

This man will not hang.

This is the first honest man I've met,

since I left Budapest.

- My chain of office Your Excellency.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes