The Internship Page #6

It has info on every

Google employee.

Birthdays, trivia, meeting

calendars, everything.

Really? Mmm-hmm.

Ah! Hey. Fancy

seeing you here!

Is it? Or you calendar-stalked

me and knew where I'd be.

Now, am I detecting

a bit of an accent?

You are!

Uh-huh. I have a

very good ear.

English, right? Hello, guvnor!

Oliver Twist. "More

bread, please."

Australian, actually.

Really? Similar flags, though.

Kiwi. "Lord of the

Rings" country.

The stain on this one's better,

but the white one's a goner.

I eat very fast.

Bangers and mash.

That's also British.

Vegemite sandwich then,

which you gobble

down so you can get

back to the grind.

It is impressive,

staying at work till

midnight every day.

Also on the calendar.

Look, Nick.

I'm sure you're very

popular with the

19-year-olds at the

University of Phoenix...

...with the Southern drawl

and the blond hair and...

...this whole thing you got going

on, but I have to tell you

this is never going to happen.

"This". What?

Oh, no, no, no! This is me

reaching out as an intern.

They encouraged us to approach experienced

Googlers and pick their brains.

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry! Of course!

You thought I was... "Oh, who's

this wanker steaming in?"

You just want to learn!

Well, look.

Sid here is incredible. He's

about to give a talk on HTML5.

Nick is desperate to learn.

He'd love to come along.

Sure. Come on down, brother!

Sometimes we go all

day, all night.

Oh, I can't start any sooner

than right now. Let's do it.

Come on, everybody!

Where are you going?

Oh, I have a meeting. But

you know that. Cheerio!

Cheerio.

Let's go. Come on.

Don't be shy.

You have a crush

on her, my friend!

Good morning, interns.

Today marks

the first of several

challenges...

...through which your

team shows its merits.

While dogfooding a new

product, Googlers...

...reported a bug that

disabled their audio.

Two million lines of code

are in the source files.

Your job? Find the bug.

Let's check the user reports.

Check for red flags.

See what exceptions

were thrown.

I start by drawing up strategies

to sift through the code.

Code, right? Code, right?

So we're looking to kind

of break the password.

Is the answer in the question?

"Bug".

Eureka!

Bug like fly. "The Fly".

Is Chetty a cinephile?

Goldblum!

Mind-boggling no one's

notebook is out.

This gibberish you're

writing may or may not be

helpful. I guarantee what

we're saying is helpful!

We're looking for a bug, not a password.

They're different things.

Keep going with that

human connection.

Go on, stay positive.

Go, go, go.

We'll go on "fly". 'Cause

we're "fly"-ing it.

Fly. Fly. I like that.

Y-L-F. It's a word

scramble, it's "life"!

I can't get "fly"

out of my mind,

and now I'm going

Jennifer Lopez.

Is it a Fly Girl? Superfly!

Pop fly. Uh, excavation.

Earthquakes! California!

That's it! Write it down!

Do it, do it!

Will you please stop?!

No, we're working!

Yeah, and that's a

Sharpie, genius.

That's my fault.

I'll go ahead and wash that.

Guys, I'm sorry, but

you're not helping.

You're saying a lot of words

really fast that mean nothing.

To find the bug, we need to

review the code and find...

...the programmer's mistake.

It's the only way.

But what if it's

not the only way?

You said someone programmed it.

Someone in this building

wrote that code.

A human being!

Let's give him a name... Tony.

Let's say Tony likes kayaking.

Me and Nick become

friends with Tony.

We throw some beers

back, do some kayaking.

Tony's bombed on

the open water.

Next thing you know, we're

gabbing about audio bugs!

I think it's a great idea.

Great! Finally!

Dark and Stormy feeling us!

Feeling you big time, buddy.

In fact, why don't the two of

you go and find the programmer?

Great. Great idea.

Yo-Yo, who's our man?

His name is Charles Xavier.

Perfect. Nick, write it down.

Steel trap.

Uh... He's a Professor.

At Stanford.

Just a few minutes

away, really.

Guys.

He's in a wheelchair.

Stanford. Wheelchair.

What else?

Oh, he's bald!

May be with his best friend,

who wears a metal helmet.

He's a genetics Professor.

More, more! Hit us!

He has a British accent. British!

With my ear, we're done.

Keep searching. Think

fly, think bug.

I promise you this somehow

intersects with Goldblum.

Goldblum. Of course.

Back to work, guys.

Hey, Professor, what up?

Professor Charles Xavier?

Very funny.

British! Professor Xavier,

sorry to bother you. If you...

Gentlemen, I don't

have time for this.

Professor Xavier, we know it's you.

We really need your help.

All right, you found me out.

I am Charles Xavier.

And that's Cyclops, and Rogue.

We're all here.

Come closer. I want to share some

of my telekinetic wisdom with you.

Good, 'cause I want to

know about these bugs.

A**holes!

You maniacal monster!

Professor Xavier

is a total dick!

Yo to the Yo, have we ensured

it wasn't a networking issue?

Confirmed there was

no packet loss.

Almost done checking

the encryption.

"Almost"? Either you're done or not.

You can't be almost pregnant.

And she would know, guys.

Go Google "a**hole", a**hole.

She's right. It's not good enough, Yo-Yo.

Get it together.

What the f*** was that?

I'm punishing myself for

my inferior performance.

Wow. Good. Great.

That one's crazy.

And crazy horny over here.

Let me guess. Big dick,

'cause little dick?

Does your mind just immediately

go to a penis joke?

Was that not witty enough?

I'm just busy working.

That's fine, but I'm

winning the quip-off.

- That's what you're worried about?

- Yes.

You're more concerned with

snarky banter than working?

Hey! Did you guys find

Professor Xavier?

Yeah, we found him.

Yeah, thanks so much for that.

Really great team spirit.

Mind sliding over?

I'm sorry, it doesn't look like

there's enough room for you.

Have a great lunch.

Yeah, enjoy it.

Okay, let's see.

Let's see.

- See anything?

- Oh! There's an opening.

- Is that taken?

- It's taken.

Let's go over there.

Hi, Headphones. Mind

if we sit here?

We can take that as a yes.

We have to at this point.

How you doing, bud?

He doesn't even know we exist. He's

like a superhero on this computer.

Look at him, just crushing

his thing and kicking ass.

Do you remember what it felt like

to be that good at something?

Look at this! William.

Nicholas.

Person I don't know.

Thought I'd find you at

the cool kids' table.

It's like a confederacy

of outcasts out here.

Heard you had a day

trip to Palo Alto.

Home of Silicon Valley and

also the X-Men, apparently.

Where are you going with this?

Oh, I just wanted to let you guys

know we won the bug challenge!

What are you going

to do about it?

Don't worry about what we'll do or not do.

We'll be just fine.

You'll be fine? Keep

telling yourself that.

See you on the intramural field

for the next

challenge I'll win.

Sports! Something we

know about, baby.

Something we know a lot about.

Come on now! Look at me.

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