The Karate Dog Page #7

and let me know

the minute you find her.

Okay?

Thank you.

[woman on TV]

And in business news...

Volume up.

In about an hour, CEO

Hamilton Cage will be announcing

the launch of Energy L99, a safe

and natural energy supplement.

Cage plans to have the

herbal blend added to everything

from potato chips

to children's breakfast cereals.

No, no, you maniac, you

can't give that stuff to kids.

Oh, my God.

(COLAR)

Take a deep breath, Peter.

Whew.

Okay, focus.

Ashley, Ashley...

Where's Ashley?

One thing at a time.

Oh, I got to get

some help here.

(COLAR)

Forget the facts, Peter.

Go with your gut.

Sometimes you have to search

all over the yard

before you find out

where one bone is buried.

(COLAR)

There you go.

Now you're on to something.

COLAR, you still have

the floor plan data that

was downloaded when we breached

the Cage Biotech mainframe?

(COLAR)

Oh, you want to hack

into the security cameras

at Cage Biotech.

Looks like I programmed

some dog sense into you.

(COLAR)

Go.

[barks]

Show time.

(COLAR)

Curtain up.

Keep scanning.

(COLAR)

I'm scanning.

Cage's office.

(COLAR)

Yep.

Okay... move on.

(COLAR)

We're moving on.

Right...

fire control hallway...

(COLAR)

You're in it.

Move on.

(COLAR)

Movin' on.

Mainframe.

Keep scanning.

(COLAR)

We're still scanning.

Fire control room.

Good.

Ashley.

Oh, God.

Enhance.

[beeping]

(COLAR)

Peter, do you want me

to call the cops?

We just did.

Ashley, don't worry.

Don't worry,

I'm coming for you.

Let me think.

Search the address

of the Animal Control Center,

and download it immediately

into my palm computer.

(COLAR)

You got it, boss.

(Cho Cho)

Baby.

We done as good

as we could do.

So what if I bit a mailman

but misunderstood you.

Ooh, baby.

Why knock yourself out?

[blues scatting]

I got the blues,

blues, blues, blues.

meow

Is it over?

Great.

Hopefully we've heard the

last of that dog-rap garbage.

[chuckles]

Kitty, how about

a permanent cat nap?

Here's a recipe for you:

hush, puppy.

[door creaks open]

Dead dog walkin'.

[dogs whimpering]

Remember me, mutt?

Made me look like a fool

in front of them cops.

Payback time.

[whimpering]

(dogcatcher)

Dead dog walking.

[guffaws]

What a dork.

[snorting]

That's my dog,

and I want him back.

[chuckles]

Oh, yeah?

And why would I do that?

Well, I'll tell you why.

[growling]

(Peter)

Hannibal, meet the dogcatcher.

This is Hannibal.

He doesn't like dogcatchers.

[growling]

Every dog has his day, you know?

[snickers]

[siren wailing]

(Peter)

All right,

now I'm going after Ashley.

You and boys try to break up

the press conference.

Get a 911 call in if you can.

(Cho Cho)

Yeah, I got a bone to pick

with Mr. Cage.

[siren wailing]

Nice doggy.

Nice doggy.

Doggy want a bone?

[snarls]

You're a scientist,

not a criminal.

You don't want

any part of this.

This stuff

will kill your father.

But you can still save him...

and yourself.

Think about it.

Let her go.

Ahh!

Rahh!

[suspenseful music]

Ha!

[loud crash]

That's a burn.

It's not him.

[crowd murmuring]

[Edward over microphone]

Ladies and gentleman,

may I have your attention.

I am Edward Cage.

I appreciate your patience.

My father is currently...

tied up

by unexpected developments.

I am sorry for the delay.

He should arrive any moment.

(man)

Hope so.

(Hamilton)

Ha!

[crowd gasps]

Ladies and gentleman,

Hamilton Cage.

[reluctant applause]

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Please be brief.

Today is a day

where we celebrate

the triumph of a human life.

When you add all-natural L99

to your, uh, uh, products,

they will transform themselves

into the sustenance of...

life itself.

For L99 is...

pure power.

Pure, uh, uh...

Pure, uh...

uh... power.

Pure, uh, uh...

[dreamily]

youth.

Ladies and gentleman,

I give you the future.

I give you

L99!

(Cho Cho)

I don't know,

but I've been told...

(animals)

I don't know,

but I've been told...

(Cho Cho)

Kennel food is mighty cold.

(animals)

Kennel food is mighty cold.

[siren blaring]

(Cho Cho)

Sound off.

(animals)

1-2-3-4.

[militaristic music]

(woman)

Wait, what's going on?

(man)

Dogs!

[barking]

[crowd panicking]

[barking and shouting]

You're going

down, buddy.

Okay, Dad, we got to go.

Come on, follow me.

Come on, look at me.

Come on.

Say uncle.

Say uncle.

Come on, Dad, we got to go.

That's a good boy.

Right around the corner.

[barking and shouting]

Now!

(male dog)

Behind you!

Where... where are we?

Whoo, hello.

(Cho Cho)

Watch it, buddy.

She's underage.

I'll be 18 next month.

(cat)

Hey, cowboy.

You talkin' to me?

(cat)

Nice job out there.

You looking for Hamilton Cage?

Well, he went thataway.

Which was is thataway?

The elevator, Dick Tracy.

(Cho Cho)

Thanks.

You're okay...

for a cat.

(cat)

Hey, take care of yourself.

And come back

and see me sometime.

(Hamilton)

Son, this is the roof.

I've radioed the helicopter.

They'll be here any minute.

Are you out of your mind?

Retreat in our

moment of triumph?

Never.

Triumph?

You're out of your mind.

I'm out of my mind?

Didn't I say you

were out of your mind?

I'm not out of my mind.

You're out of your...

Oof!

Cage, you don't know

what you're doing.

You're hurting everybody.

Turn yourself in.

Now.

Never.

Daddy?

You're sick, Cage.

You have to be stopped,

and I don't want

to have to hurt you.

Well, that's certainly

going to make this fight

a whole lot easier for me.

[suspenseful techno music]

Hii-yah!

Intriguing.

Chin Li's two best students...

face-to-face.

So you want to play games?

Okay.

[ranting in Chinese]

(Hamilton)

Not to be

uh, outdone...

[laughs]

Ha!

Huh!

Ooh, doggy.

[laughing]

Ooh, doggy.

Come on.

Oof!

[chuckling]

(Hamilton)

You're some package, puppy.

Very clever.

(Cho Cho)

Well, I'd give you

about a six...

out of ten.

That's for all the times

you made a dog go fetch.

Ching!

Fetch this.

(Cho Cho)

Whoooa.

Hey.

Yow.

Let's get, uh, serious,

shall we?

(Cho Cho)

Oh, no.

That scar.

It was you I bit.

It was you.

Don't be so surprised.

Huh!

Ha!

Ouch!

Chin Li was like

a father to you.

Well, he wasn't my father.

My father died

and left me alone.

And then I searched

for that fountain of youth,

so that no child

would ever orphaned again.

Chin Li tried to spoil that.

Come on, fight like a man.

Look at what you've

become, Cage... a monster.

A monster?

If only you could feel it...

the power of Lot 99

coursing through your veins

like liquid gold.

Hoo-ha!

Want a piece of me, dog?

I want justice.

Well, come and get it.

Huh!

Hii-yah.

[suspenseful music]

I'm top of the world, Daddy.

[laughs hysterically]

Please, for Chin Li,

surrender.

Never.

Waa-haa!

Whoo.

Ha ha!

Missed.

Missed again.

Try again.

Keep trying.

Missed.

Good try.

Missed.

[singsongy]

Missed again.

Ooh-ah!

[imitating Hannibal Lecter]

Hello, Clarice.

[suspenseful music]

Whoosh!

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