The Karate Dog Page #8

Okay, my ultimate weapon:

super lick.

[slobbering]

[retching]

Okay, here we go.

Left, right.

Left, left, right, right,

right, right, right,

left, right.

Uh!

And finally,

this one's for Chin Li.

Hii-yah!

I'ma coming, Daddy.

Uh!

[zapping]

You think I'm finished?

You're right.

Uh!

(Peter)

Cho Cho.

Good job, Cho Cho.

That was incredible.

Thank you.

Had to be done.

Hamilton Cage, there's something

I've wanted to say to you

for a while.

You're under arrest

for kidnapping, racketeering,

cruelty to animals,

and conspiracy for

the murder or Chin Li.

Oh.

(Edward)

Fowler!

You hurt my daddy.

[gunshot]

Uhh!

No!

Oh, no.

Cho Cho.

He's been shot.

Ashley, get an ambulance.

Don't get all emotional.

It's embarrassing.

Next thing I know,

you'll be licking me.

Hang in there, partner.

Partner?

Partner.

I like that.

(man)

It gives me great pleasure

to introduce the recipient

of the San Francisco Police

Department's Medal of Valor,

Detective Peter Fowler.

[applause]

Congratulations.

Thank you, sir.

You know, I used to wonder

what bravery really was.

It was something that you'd

learn, something you'd develop.

But what I discovered is that

bravery exists within us all:

man or woman,

human or animal.

You just have to find it.

Sometimes you need help

to do that.

So I'd like

to dedicate this medal

to someone who saved my life,

someone who taught me

what I really needed to learn,

someone who I wish

could've been here today,

someone who was there

when I really needed him,

Cho... Cho Cho.

Ladies and gentleman,

the dude who really

deserves this medal,

Cho Cho.

[applause]

Now you remember

what you promised.

What?

[whispering]

What did I promise?

[Cho Cho,

imitating the Big Bopper]

Hello, baby.

Yeah, this is

the Big Bopper speaking.

[laughs]

Oh, you sweet thing.

Do I what?

Will I what?

Oh, baby,

you know what I like.

Chantilly Lace

had a pretty face

and a ponytail

hanging down.

I couldn't tell you.

I promised him.

Lord, made the world

go round, round, round.

Ain't nothing in the world

like a big-eyed girl

to make me act so funny,

make me spend my money,

make me feel real loose

like a long-necked goose,

like a...

Oh, baby,

it's-a what I like.

What's that, baby?

[violin music]

But...

But...

But...

Oh, honey.

(man)

Hey, Fowler.

(man)

Yeah, Fowler!

(Cho Cho)

But...

Oh, baby, you know

what I like.

(woman)

Whoo.

(man)

Yeah!

Chantilly Lace

had a pretty face

and a ponytail hanging down.

A wiggle in her walk

and a giggle in her talk,

Lord, made the world

go round.

Ain't nothing in the world

like a big-eyed girl

to make me act so funny,

make me spend my money.

Make me feel real loose

like a long-neck goose,

like a...

Oh, baby,

that's-a what I like.

[cheers and applause]

Cho Cho has left the building.

(Randy Travis)

Hey, my name is Cho Cho.

Go ahead and laugh.

Just be careful what you

throw my way

'cause I can dish it

right back.

The way I see it, if variety

is the spice of life,

I'm a vintage wine.

And on top of that,

I'm man's best friend,

but don't you ever

cross that line.

I'll take you

for who you are

if you'll take me

for what I am.

I can be meaner

than a junkyard dog

or gentle

as a newborn lamb.

I been trained

in the school of hard knocks.

I can push, pull, run

nonstop.

And on my hind legs,

I'll do more than just beg.

I'm a bona fide,

borderline cop.

I'm the one

who seeks the truth.

I have from the start.

I learned it ain't

so much your mind.

You got to follow

your heart.

The way I figure it,

I can't dwell

on yesterday,

'cause I can't change

the past.

I got to look ahead

and not behind.

For me,

life goes by fast.

I'll take you

for who you are

if you'll take me

for what I am.

I can be meaner

than a junkyard dog

or gentle

as a newborn lamb.

I been trained

in the school of hard knocks.

I can push, pull, run

nonstop.

And on my hind legs,

I'll do more than just beg.

I'm a bona fide,

borderline cop.

It don't matter

what others may say.

We can make this work.

But don't mind me

if the mood should strike.

This dog's known

to dig a little dirt.

I'll take you

for who you are

if you'll take me

for what I am.

'Cause I can be meaner

than a junkyard dog

or gentle

as a newborn lamb.

I been trained

in the school of hard knocks.

I can push, pull, run

nonstop.

And on my hind legs,

I'll do more than just beg.

I'm a bona fide,

borderline cop.

On my hind legs,

I'll do more than just beg.

I'm a bona fide,

borderline cop.

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