The Kid & I Page #6

and I know when someone's bluffin'

and believe me, that chick is bluffin'.

Maybe not.

All right, you guys, that's a cut.

Done. It's a great job. Good job.

Bravo, Guy!

I can't believe you killed

off my character.

My fans will be so disappointed

Don't worry, Guy,

no fans'll be disappointed because

there are no fans to be disappointed.

The only people that are gonna

see this movie are Aaron and his family.

No, those are my fans.

Why are you so negative, Bill?

I think you're, uh, you're jealous.

You're right! I'm very jealous!

I wanted my butt to blow up.

Yeah and-a-a- and

I got some bad news for you.

I can't be your assistant anymore.

What's the bad news?

Aaron wants me to be his assistant

and he's doubled my pay.

I don't know how

I'm gonna make it without ya.

I know, I know, I know.

But the skills I've learned

under your tutelage

are gonna last me a lifetime.

Did you say tutelage?

Guy!

Yes.

Yes.

Um... we would like

to have former World

Heavyweight Champion wrestler

Goldberg to be in the movie.

We would.

Yes we would.

Do we realize we're on a schedule,

a very tight schedule.

We got no more time for any

of his crazy-assed ideas.

The answer's no.

Goldberg's out!

You want me to call your pop?

Yeah. Yeah, call his pop.

See if I care. I want you

to remember this moment, Guy.

Kids love it when you tell 'em no.

Makes 'em feel safe.

Aaron!

You guys disappoint me.

You really screwed the pooch this time.

With all due respect sir,

we haven't even found the dog yet.

I'm bringing in my secret

weapon - Goldberg.

Perhaps he can motivate you.

What are you laughin' at, jackass?

Well it's just that, uh...

It's just...

It's just sad watching you

sit here on your fat butt,

while that sweet little

innocent Shitzu...

is out there all alone and scared.

While I think of it it should be

you that's scared.

Well, Goldberg,

why should I be scared?

Maybe... Oh!

That's why...

I'm going to give you one last chance

to get that Shitzu back.

Got it. All right.

Let's go find that little b*tch.

A-Dog, it's confirmed!

The dog nappers are holding

Chloe hostage - in the cockpit.

I've got back up. We're leading

straight to you in the hangar.

Lay low.

We're blowin' out the engine!

There's no way they're gonna crash

into the hangar! We got 'em!

Oh boy, Chloe, let's go home.

Here's your puppy, little girl.

All right, great! That's a cut!

Ah, boy, ei-yi-yi.

What's wrong, partner?

You okay?

Not really.

I knew this was gonna happen,

you've exhausted him

and besides my son does not

call women b*tches in a hot tub.

No. No, it's not harmless.

I don't know

where you come up with this stuff.

You know I love the scene

where Shaq dressed up like a woman.

You tried to lick his ear!

That wasn't in the original script,

the kid made me do it!

I didn't wanna lick his ear!

- Trust me.

- Sure, sure, sure.

Right.

Yeah.

Honey? What's wrong?

Aaron's not feeling well.

I think all this excitement

has finally caught up with him.

He is allergic to dogs.

If I'd a known that

I never woulda put a dog in the-

No, no, no. The doctor's with him.

I've spoken to Susan.

She's canceling shooting for today.

Hold it on.

Thank you, Doc.

Thank You.

Hey buddy, how you feelin'?

Fine.

Great. Well listen, you lay low today

and we'll get right back

at it tomorrow, okay?

Wait. Would you stay here for awhile.

Sure.

Would you rub my head?

It hurts a little.

You are a little warm there, partner.

Sometimes my body aches.

Do do I look silly in my movie?

Because I don't want people

to make fun of me.

No, you look heroic.

People are gonna love you, man.

Now me on the other hand, uh...

Do you wanna make movies for a living?

Yes, I love acting.

I wanna be successful like my dad.

He works a lot.

I think I'll always bring my kids

along to work with me.

I bet you will.

Bil... I love Arielle.

Well,

I know sometimes when you're acting

with somebody it seems like-

I'm not acting.

I love her.

Would you ask Arielle if she loves me?

Well I'm sure

that she loves you Aaron, it's...

I think she has a boyfriend.

Is he good looking?

I'm sure he's good looking

but he's also in a boy band

so he's probably gay.

Listen, you gotta be patient.

Relationships are complicated.

Sometimes it's better to just be

friends with your beautiful co-stars.

That's easy for you to say, Bill.

You're not a virgin.

True. Let's watch the movie.

Yeah. It's the best part.

Do you like Jamie Lee Curtis?

- I love Jamie Lee Curtis. She's hot.

- Yeah she's... Yeah.

Yeah.

Up until now it was all going so well.

We were able to borrow footage

from the original True Lies...

to move our movie story along.

And because it's a private venture

it didn't cost us a cent.

So we've stolen it.

Borrowed. We made excellent use

of the green screens for background.

And I think the scenes

where we superimposed

Aaron's face

on Arnold Schwarzenegger's body

turned out really nicely.

Maybe even better than the original.

Worst case scenario could

we wrap this up without Aaron?

No. No, we have to have Aaron

for one more day.

That hot tub scene

is so important to the story.

And we've got Arielle.

I mean it pays off the whole movie.

I got you! You're dead!

I killed you first you dirty son of a...

Sorry.

Hi, Mom

Hi, mom.

Get in bed.

- I feel better.

- No...

I feel better, Mom.

The doctor said you needed to rest.

Come on, sweetie.

But I feel better,

Mom. No.

Hey I-I'm Bill

I feel a lot better.

- Bill's just trying to help.

- Nice to meet you.

Would you excuse yourself

- so I can speak to my son?

- Come on, Mom.

It's okay sweetie. It's okay.

Please...

No, don't worry about it.

It's just... The people back home

think that L.A. is a crazy place anyway.

Bonnie can be a little overprotective.

I don't think it's overprotective

to worry about my son's health.

That's not what I meant.

How's Aaron?

He's resting tonight.

Then I'm taking him back

to Illinois with me in the morning.

For how long?

For the rest of the summer.

His California vacation is over.

You can't do that.

Why, Davis?

Because you want

to spend time with him?

Or because he has to finish his movie?

Both.

Look, we'll have a birthday party

for him back there.

You know, I-I read the script.

I can't believe that you would risk

your son's safety like that.

You let him jump out of an airplane?

No.

No-no, no. We fake that.

It's called 'movie magic'.

Believe me, if it had been dangerous

we woulda had a midget do it.

My son is fragile.

A- and you know that

he was allergic to dogs.

Remember ten years ago? Sparky?

The emergency room?

He loves dogs. It was just one day.

Yeah and you had him

fighting with grown men?

The swearing?

The exposing him to loose women?

The hot tub scene was Aaron's idea.

We haven't even shot it yet.

And you won't.

I- I know why you did it.

You did it for the money.

But you... you're his father.

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