The Kid Page #7

I'm Harold Greene.

Good evening. Y'all.

I'm Deirdre Lafever.

Tonight's top story: Another high-speed

chase on a Los Angeles freeway...

this time involving a mother of eight

in a stolen minivan.

The chase started about 8:30

this evening when police first no...

I know. Thanks, Don.

See you tomorrow.

I heard the "y'all."

It works.

Well, it's Mr Image Consultant.

So, what do you think?

Don't tell me.

My hair's still too big.

No, it looks good.

Can I buy you a cup of coffee?

Comfort of strangers and all that?

If what you're telling me is true...

that has got to be

the strangest thing I've ever heard.

Makes perfect sense to me.

- It does?

- Why wouldn't your 8-year-old self...

time travel here

to give you a hand?

I mean, you're obviously in trouble.

It'd straighten you out.

You think he's here

to straighten me out?

Well, of course. You didn't think

it was the other way around, did you?

Maybe he's here for you

to teach him some things...

but maybe he's here for you

to remember some things.

Ever thought about that?

Not till just now. No.

Darlin', look.

You're turnin' 40 tomorrow.

You haven't acquired a single thing

of real value in your life.

- And no, no, money doesn't count.

- Hey...

You're virtually friendless,

you barely talk to your family...

and you've just lost

the only woman in the world

who's ever meant anything to you.

Who? Amy? Please.

Look, she's not the only woman

in the world, okay?

She... She works for me.

She's neurotic.

She bites her nails.

Nail.

This one.

Oh, my God.

Excuse me. Um, while he's

gettin' a clue, could I... could I

get a warm-up, please? Thank you.

Okay. Don't stop. Go on.

- What's it like?

- He keeps asking about his future...

my past.

- Haven't really told him much.

- Good.

"Good"? You think that's good?

Why? What would you do?

Wh... If little Deirdre

was suddenly here...

burstin' out of her St Mary's uniform,

askin' me what comes next?

Yeah.

I'd say, "Baby, don't you

worry about a thing.

Everything is just gonna be great."

I-I mean, how many of us

turn out the way we think we will

when we're kids, really?

I-I mean how many of us

grow up to be astronauts?

Or prima ballerinas?

We just all do the best we can.

Time for me to take big Deirdre home.

You know, if you wanna learn

about your childhood,

seems like you're online...

with a pretty good source,

you know what I mean?

Yes, I am. Deirdre, thanks

for taking the time to help.

Well, don't ever stop

asking for help, Russ.

You just might get it.

- Thanks.

- You take care.

Bye, y'all.

Bye.

Hi, Janet, it's me.

I'm sorry to call so late.

It's okay. Russ.

I think I'll recover.

I just want you to cancel

all my appointments tomorrow

and move 'em to Friday.

-Anything else?

- No, that's it.

- Okay. You've got it.

- No, wait.

There is something else.

I want you to find out why the full moon

looks orange sometimes when it rises.

- Okay. Sure.

- Thanks, Janet. Good night.

Hey, kid. Rusty.

- Hi.

- Hey.

Wanna help me with something? I think

it might get you back to your time.

- Sure.

- Good.

Anything about me?

Yeah.

Anything that'll take me back.

You know how I like

to find caterpillars...

and put 'em in jars

and feed 'em...

and watch 'em make cocoons?

- No.

- And then one day...

they break out,

and it's really cool.

No. Not a clue.

But keep goin'.

Tell me some more stuff.

Remember last summer

at Josie's birthday party...

when I got Parmesan cheese

stuck up my nose?

- Got any sixes?

- Nope. Go fish.

- Got any fours?

- Negative. Go fish.

Got any sevens?

Tell me some more

about Dad.

Sometimes...

he lets me help him

work on the car.

But if I do something wrong,

he yells at me.

Sometimes he buys me

ice cream afterwards.

But still,

I don't like messing up.

Like last week,

I lost a screw.

I was afraid to tell him.

I found it later on

in my pocket.

Look, I still have it.

I'm afraid

to give it back to him.

Got any nines?

No.

My homeroom teacher last year

was fat Mrs Kinkelman.

She was so much better

than Mr Lupus.

He had that purple bump

on his face.

I don't remember the bump guy.

What grade was that?

How come you're asking me

all this stuff?

'Cause I'm

forgetting something.

I'm forgetting this one event

that meant something to me...

and if I can remember that one thing,

maybe I can get you home.

Are you sure it's not

the purple bump?

- It's not the bump, kid.

- It was a pretty big bump.

- Tell me more about second grade.

- Why?

Nobody had a bump

in second grade.

My best friend was Tim Wheaton,

until a few months ago.

Remember him?

- No, I don't.

- His house smells like fish sticks.

- No.

- Well, he was my best friend...

until he started

hanging out with Vince...

and these other creepy guys.

He threw a rock at me, and we

haven't been friends since then.

- He threw a rock at us?

- Oh, yeah.

- Why? What happened?

- Oh, those guys get together...

every recess in the corner

of the playground yard...

where they like

to pick on kids.

Back behind the kindergarten.

Yeah. Where the yard monitor

can't see you!

- Where that big sliding board is?

- Yeah, the really huge one!

- You remember it!

- Go on. Don't stop.

There's four of them,

and if they don't like you...

they make your life a nightmare!

And the worst thing about them

is they're really mean to animals.

Especially this one

three-legged dog.

Tripod!

Tripod!

The dog's name is Tripod!

I know the dog's name!

I know everything, kid.

I know why you're here!

This is the event!

Vince Kajinski, the fight!

It's the fight!

It was my eighth birthday.

It was 32 years ago.

Today!

Ha-ha-ha!

Holy smokes.

Look at the car!

Look at your clothes!

Holy smokes.

- Holy smokes!

- Holy smokes!

- We did it, kid!

- Am I home? Is it really 1968?

No doubt about it, kid.

What time's recess?

- 10:
30.

- Hang on, kid.

We've got 15 minutes

to change our life.

Okay, now listen.

This is gonna happen real fast...

so you gotta remember

what Kenny told you, all right?

- One, two, one, two.

- One, two...

- Keep your head down, keep swingin'.

Look, look, look!

There's the really big slide, remember?

It used to be a lot bigger.

Here's what I remember:

Some really bad guys

tie up that three-legged dog, Tripod.

When you try to stop 'em,

you get really thrashed.

Oh, no. Do I save him?

No. You go down

after only one punch...

thereby solidifying

your reputation as a loser...

for the next eight years,

all the way through high school...

and ruining our life

from that moment on.

Oh, holy smokes.

Any second now, Vince Kajinski

and his cohorts are gonna

come around that corner.

- Look. There they are.

- Hey, boo!

They're gonna say something to you

to get you to come over there.

Once you get back there,

they have Tripod tied up.

- Any questions?

- Yeah. What's a cohort?

Hey, Rusty,

come over here.

It's your birthday, right?

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