The Kids Are All Right Page #5

It's good, huh?

That's criminal.

Have some more.

No. No, please,

just take it away.

Come on.

You had one bite.

No, if I have one more,

you're gonna have to tape it

to my ass 'cause that's

where it's gonna end up.

Hey now, don't go

negative on your ass.

No reason for that.

You're good with

the plants, then?

'Cause, you know,

I can change it.

If you're not happy with it,

we can do something else.

No. No, no. I'm...

We can get whatever

you want, you know?

I'm just thinking.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

I'm good with them.

They're great.

Oh.

They're great.

Sorry.

Sometimes I mistake

silence for criticism.

I wasn't criticizing you.

No, no, I just, you know...

Sometimes Nic can be

a little critical 'cause

she's a perfectionist.

Well, I don't see why

you'd take it that way.

I think you're

really talented.

Really?

Really.

Excuse me, seora?

Yeah?

Okay, thanks.

Same time tomorrow?

Yeah. Same time tomorrow.

Good night.

Thank you. Okay,

good night. Thank you.

Whew!

I should get going, too.

Same time tomorrow?

That's mean.

Take this.

No. U h-uh.

I don't want it.

Take it.

No.

For the kids.

No. I don't want it.

Come on.

No. God,

you are such a pusher.

Oh!

Wow. Okay.

I don't know where

that came from. I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry. I...

J ules.

I'm gonna just go and...

It's okay.

No, I just...

It's okay.

It was okay.

But I shall return!

What?

So how'd it go

with Paul today?

What do you mean?

Well, did you break ground?

Did you dig in?

I don't know the terms.

We just talked,

conceptually.

Oh, wow.

So it was

less of a "doing" day?

Was he okay with that?

You know, I think

we should lay off

the Paul digs a little.

Oh, okay.

And I also think

we should start

composting.

Hey, take this.

Thanks.

You got that fair skin.

You don't have

my peasant blood.

Ignore.

Who's that?

My mom, N ic.

She's driving me crazy.

Yeah? What's she doing?

She's treating me

like I'm 12.

It's like

she doesn't want to admit

that I'm an adult.

Well, that's your mom.

That's her job.

What? To smother me to death?

That's not her job.

If you want things

to be different,

you got to do that,

make that happen yourself.

That's your job.

Yeah.

Do you like peppers?

Yeah.

Thanks.

There's no way,

dude. You missed it by,

like, 20 feet.

Well,

if Paul wasn't there,

I could have made it.

That guy creeps me out.

He's kind of a fag, dude,

trying to act like

your dad and sh*t.

Whatever, all right?

Hey, buddy. Hey.

I've seen this dog

around here before.

I think he's lost.

Let's pee on his head.

What? No.

Where you going?

Dude, what are you doing?

Dude, just hold him.

Dude, quit it.

"Dude, quit it."

Go on, get out of here! Go!

Why are you such a fag?

Why are you such

a f***ing dick?

That hat looks

good on you.

Thanks.

Keep it.

Thank you.

Never been on a bike?

Mmm-mmm.

Never.

You got to wear

one of these.

Okay.

You've got to hold on

tight right there.

Here we go. You ready?

I'm ready.

You sure?

Yeah.

Hey, babe, relax.

She'll be back when

she gets back.

Quit telling me

to relax. Okay?

What the f***?

Wow. Funny how someone

conveniently forgot to tell me

that they were driving home

on a motorcycle.

Do you know how many

people I've seen come

into the hospital paralyzed

from motorcycle accidents?

I'm a very safe driver, N ic.

Yeah, that is

so not the point that

I'm making, Paul.

Joni knows that

this is something

I'd just never allow.

Mom, I'm 18 years old.

Yeah?

I won't even be living

here in, like, a month.

Yeah, well, you're

living here now.

Yeah?

Well, why don't you

get a jump on it and

pretend like I'm not?

She's never talked

to me like that before.

You know, if you

backed off a little bit

on the restrictions,

you probably wouldn't

have so much conflict.

Oh, really?

You think so, Paul?

Is that how it works?

What's going on?

Oh, nothing. Nothing.

Paul's just giving me some

child-rearing lessons.

I'm just saying...

Listen, when you've been

a parent for 18 years,

you come and talk to me, okay?

I'm just making

an observation.

Yeah? Well, I need

your observations like

I need a dick in my ass!

Joni?

Honey. Look,

I was upset, okay?

You know how I feel

about motorcycles.

Yeah, I know how

you feel about them.

But I'm an adult now,

and you have to respect

that, okay?

Good night.

Good? Good?

Yeah, that's perfect.

Thanks.

Hey, Paul.

Hey, Jules.

What's up?

It's all right.

I just wanted to say

I'm sorry about last night.

Hey...

I was really embarrassed.

Hey, it wasn't you.

It was her who wigged out.

I think she's, you know,

she's just having

a really hard time.

You know?

Yeah. You really don't

have to defend her.

Seriously.

And about that kiss, that's...

You know, I don't do that.

I completely

sensed that, yeah.

So...

I just wanted

to clear the air.

The air is cleared.

No, it's clear.

No, Paul, I can't!

Why? You don't want to?

No, I have a guy outside!

Oh, yeah.

Right, the guy.

Oh, God.

Okay, wait. Wait.

Well! Hello!

Yeah! Yeah!

Okay, not so hard.

Not so hard.

Okay.

What?

- Oh, my God!

- Yeah?

Come on.

- Excuse me?

You gotta be

f***ing kidding me!

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Excuse me, seora?

I can't f***ing believe it.

Okay.

You gotta go talk to him.

Are you gonna go talk to him?

Okay. F***.

Oh, God.

Sh*t.

- Excuse me, seora?

- Okay!

Hey, what's up?

Where do you

want the stones?

Stones?

Over by the fence.

What?

I was using the bathroom.

Do you need to use

the bathroom?

Okay, then.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

Take your time.

That's H.

Yeah, I know.

All right. Lay-up.

All right.

Now you don't have

to go easy on me

because you're winning.

Nobody likes

a show-off, man.

You gotta go

behind the back.

God.

Can I ask you a question?

Would you rather

be buried or cremated?

That's your question?

I'd rather be cremated.

I think I'd...

I think I'd rather

be buried.

But why? I mean,

you're just gonna be

taking up more

space in the earth.

I don't know.

The idea of being,

you know,

torched into a chalky

white substance has got me

a little freaked out.

Why does it matter to you?

You're not even

gonna be conscious.

Okay, well, maybe,

I don't know,

I want a place

for people to come

and visit me one day.

But why?

You're gonna be dead.

You won't even

know they're there.

Okay. Take it easy.

Come on.

So, what do you like better,

Nike or New Balance?

Nike.

Oh, God, here we go.

God, I love your

necklace! Can I see it?

Sure.

It's so beautiful.

Thank you.

Is it African?

Yes, it's Ethiopian.

Did you get it there?

No, I got it

at a flea market

in Brooklyn.

Is that where you're from?

No, I'm from here.

Cool.

Hey, guys, how you doing?

Good.

How's the food?

It's great.

Good? You're not

gonna eat your chicken?

It's so yummy.

It's good?

Yeah, it's really good.

I'm sorry, but I have

to take the lovely Tanya

away for a moment.

All right. It was lovely

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