The King of Comedy Page #11

48INT:
AN OFFICE - DAY

A large, corner office furnished in royal red, with high

ceilings and a huge desk. Potted palms and hydrangeas rest

on a marble floor. LANGFORD is moving about restlessly,

clutching PUPKIN's tape in one hand and waving it about.

PUPKIN is seated on a comfortable couch.

LANGFORD:

Dynamite! This is dynamite!

PUPKIN:

(shyly)

You think so, Jerry?

LANGFORD:

Look, I've been at this for fifteen

years, Rupert, and I haven't come up

with anything like this -- not me,

not any of my writers.

PUPKIN:

(smiling with obvious

pleasure)

Well, I'm glad you like it, Jerry.

LANGFORD:

Tell me something, Rube. (pause)

How do you do it? I'm not asking

to use the material myself. I just

want to know how you (LANGFORD waves

his arms in a gesture of frustration)

how you do it.

PUPKIN:

Well, I don't know if I can explain

it, really.

LANGFORD:

Come on. Try, Rube.

PUPKIN:

Well, it just sort of comes. I think

about my life, see, mainly about the

worst parts, all the awful things, and

I just try to see them in a funny light.

That's all.

LANGFORD:

(eagerly)

Is that what you do? The worst parts,

and then you look at them in a funny

light? Is that what you do?

PUPKIN:

More or less. It's hard to describe

how its happens.

LANGFORD:

But that's just it, Rube. It doesn't

happen for me. Why do you think the

show is in so much trouble? By the

time I've done my monologue, everyone

has switched to Carson. Maybe if you

did a little writing ... ?

PUPKIN:

Sure, Jerry, I'd do anything I could

to help out.

LANGFORD:

You would? Great. Why don't you

come out to my place this weekend

and we'll hash it out. I'm having

a few of my friends but we should be

able to get a little work in.

PUPKIN:

Would you mind if I brought someone?

LANGFORD:

(smiling)

A girl, Rube?

PUPKIN:

A very special girl, Jerry.

LANGFORD:

I'd love to meet her.

49THE HIGH-RISE OFFICE BUILDING ON UPPER BROADWAY - DAY

PUPKIN emerges, lost in thought. Suddenly he notices

MARSHA waiting nearby. She doesn't see PUPKIN. He sneaks

off.

CUT TO:

50EXT:
U.N. PLAZA - DAY

It is a bright morning. LANGFORD, attempting to camouflage

himself by wearing a cap over his eyes and his trench coat

collar turned up, his eyes hidden behind dark glasses,

walks out of the building. A DOORMAN is standing by the

door.

DOORMAN:

Cab, Jerry?

LANGFORD:

That's alright, thanks.

WE FOLLOW LANGFORD as he walks. Some people don't notice.

Others stare but leave him alone, a few commenting to their

companions and pointing at him. A CAB DRIVER pulls

alongside.

DRIVER:

Hey, Jerry. My brother can sing

and juggle at the same time. How

about puttin' him on your show?

LANGFORD keeps walking.

DRIVER:

How about it, Jerry?

LANGFORD:

Sorry, I'm off duty.

CUT TO:

51 EXT. A MANHATTAN STREET - DAY

LANGFORD stands at the corner, next to a middle-aged

COUPLE.

WOMAN:

You're Jerry!!

LANGFORD pulls his cap a little more tightly around his

eyes.

WOMAN:

You know something. (She giggles)

I undress in front of you every night

and Larry here doesn't mind at all.

LARRY:

I can't get anything started with her

until you're off the air. Your show

is ruining my sex life, Jerry.

LANGFORD:

Well then, you'll just have to put

on a better show than I do.

CUT TO:

52EXT:
BROADWAY, A FEW BLOCKS SOUTH OF LANGFORD'S OFFICES -

DAY:

WE WATCH LANGFORD continue to walk, feeling what it is to

be a celebrity out in public. After a few beats, we

CUT TO:

53EXT:
BROADWAY - DAY

WE SEE MARSHA trailing LANGFORD. LANGFORD notices her and

starts walking quickly. MARSHA walks quickly. LANGFORD

starts jogging. MARSHA starts jogging. Finally, LANGFORD

breaks into a sprint. MARSHA runs after him. LANGFORD

disappears into his office building. MARSHA arrives

several seconds later.

MARSHA:

Jerry! God damnit!

Just as MARSHA turns around, PUPKIN, unaware of her, walks

cheerfully into the building.

CUT TO:

54INT:
RECEPTION AREA OF JERRY LANGFORD SHOW OFFICES - DAY

PUPKIN enters. The same middle-aged, plump RECEPTIONIST

is seated behind the desk.

RECEPTIONIST:

Yes, sir? (recognizing him) Oh, hi.

PUPKIN:

Hi. How are you?

RECEPTIONIST:

Not bad.

PUPKIN:

I'm fine.

RECEPTIONIST:

Can I help you?

PUPKIN:

I'd like to see Jerry, please.

RECEPTIONIST:

You are ... ?

PUPKIN:

Mr. Pupkin.

RECEPTIONIST:

Just a minute.

The RECEPTIONIST dials a number.

RECEPTIONIST:

Mr. Pupkin is here ... That's right

... (to PUPKIN) She'll be with you

in a minute.

PUPKIN:

Who?

RECEPTIONIST:

Miss Long.

PUPKIN:

But I wanted to see Jerry.

RECEPTIONIST:

Mr. Langford's not in. Miss Long

will take care of you.

PUPKIN:

Alright.

PUPKIN paces for a few beats. He smiles at the

RECEPTIONIST. A beat later, CATHY LONG comes out,

carrying the tape in its box.

CATHY LONG:

Mr. Pupkin?

PUPKIN:

How are you today?

CATHY LONG:

Fine, Mr. Pupkin. Thank you for

your tape. We listened to it with

great interest. And, frankly, Mr. Pupkin,

we saw a lot of good things in what

you're doing. We feel you have good

potential. Very good potential.

PUPKIN:

(smiling)

Thanks.

CATHY LONG:

That's why I'll be honest with you,

Mr. Pupkin ...

PUPKIN:

Yes?

CATHY LONG:

We just don't think you're ready yet.

PUPKIN:

(baffled)

Not ready?

CATHY LONG:

Well, we just don't feel right now

that you're right for Jerry.

PUPKIN:

(rapidly, half-listening)

Right for Jerry. Sure.

CATHY LONG:

Some of the material ... some of the

one-liners, for instance ...

PUPKIN:

Yes?

CATHY LONG:

... were not very strong.

PUPKIN:

You didn't care for some of the jokes,

is that it?

CATHY LONG:

That"s right.

PUPKIN:

Good. Good. I can take care of

that right way. Thanks. Just tell

me the ones you think should go.

That would be a big help. (to the

RECEPTIONIST) This is great. (to

CATHY LONG) Which ones?

CATHY LONG:

Well, it's not just that, Mr. Pupkin.

You see, Jerry likes to panel his

guests, you know, chat with them

afterwards.

PUPKIN:

Sure. Sure.

CATHY LONG:

And frankly, we just don't feel you've

got very much to talk about right now.

PUPKIN:

But I've got my whole life to talk

about!

CATHY LONG:

Which is interesting to you, I'm sure

and to your wife ... and to a few

friends. But we feel that you should

keep developing your act. Test it in

some live situations. There are a

number of clubs in the city you can

try. And after a reasonable period,

get in touch with us again and we'll

be glad to send someone down to check

out your progress.

PUPKIN stares at her for a few moments as the tension grows.

PUPKIN:

May I ask you a question, Miss Long?

CATHY LONG:

Of course.

PUPKIN:

Are you speaking for Jerry?

CATHY LONG:

Let's put it this way, Mr. Pupkin.

Mr. Langford has complete faith in

our judgment.

PUPKIN:

I'm sorry to have to say this, Miss

Long, and I certainly don't want you

to take it personally, but I have to

tell you that I don't ... I don't

have faith in your judgment.

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