The King of Comedy Page #17

THOMAS' SECRETARY

Bert Thomas! ... He's in a meeting,

Mr. Langford ... I see.

CUT TO:

91INT:
A CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

THOMAS, a young, trim executive in his late thirties, in

modish dress, sits at the table with several other PEOPLE,

including CATHY LONG. They are sipping coffee from con-

tainers. There are memos and lists and other papers on

the table. The SECRETARY stands at the doorway. THOMAS

and the others are looking up at her.

SECRETARY:

He says it's urgent.

THOMAS:

(smiling)

Yeah? Well, tell him I'll call him

back. (to the others) It's that

Martino kid, the impressionist.

CUT TO:

92INT:
MARSHA'S APARTMENT -- DAY

LANGFORD sits by the phone with PUPKIN a few steps away,

holding the gun and MARSHA looking on. LANGFORD looks

desperate.

PUPKIN:

Then try again!

CUT TO:

93INT:
BERT THOMAS' OFFICE - DAY

An irked BERT THOMAS wearily picks up the phone.

THOMAS:

Yeah? ... Okay, Martino, let's

stop the bullshit ... what? ...

Okay, I'm listening.

WE WATCH THOMAS' expression as it turns from skepticism

to concern bordering on alarm.

THOMAS:

Give me that again? ... Wait a

minute. What do we call our second

cameraman?

CUT TO:

94INT:
MARSHA'S APARTMENT - DAY

The scene is as before, only now LANGFORD is sweating a bit.

LANGFORD:

(into the phone)

Helen Keller.

PUPKIN:

(warning)

No tricks, Jerry.

CUT TO:

95INT:
BERT THOMAS' OFFICE - DAY

THOMAS is still at the phone.

THOMAS:

Don't do anything, Jerry. Stay right

there. Tell him we'll do anything he

wants. Tell him to cool it. Are you

okay? ... Look, tell him to call us

about five, okay. We'll let him know

what to do. And don't do anything

stupid.

THOMAS puts down the phone.

THOMAS:

(calls to his SECRETARY)

Vivien!

THOMAS' SECRETARY appears at the doorway.

THOMAS:

Get me the number of the F.B.I. right

away. And get me Crockett's office.

And keep your mouth shut about this.

CUT TO:

96INT:
MARSHA'S APARTMENT - DAY

LANGFORD is standing awkwardly in the middle of the room,

wearing a sweater that matches the patch of cloth we saw

in the envelope MARSHA gave PUPKIN. PUPKIN is still

training his pistol on LANGFORD and MARSHA is appraising

the fit.

MARSHA:

(to PUPKIN)

What do you think?

PUPKIN:

Looks fine.

MARSHA:

(to LANGFORD)

I had to guess on the sleeves.

(to PUPKIN) He gets to keep it,

doesn't he?

PUPKIN:

Sure, if he isn't dead.

CUT TO:

97INT:
THOMAS' OFFICE - DAY

THOMAS is on the phone.

THOMAS:

(panicky)

I know he's in a meeting and I don't

care. I've got to talk to him! ...

No, he can not call me back. Don't

you understand? This is an emergency

... NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

CUT TO:

98INT:
MARSHA'S APARTMENT - DAY

LANGFORD is seated on a chair whose back is pressed right

up against the high, ornate brass bedstead at the foot of

the bed. MARSHA trains the gun on LANGFORD now. PUPKIN

is unpacking a suitcase. He takes out a handsome blue suit,

ruffled shirt, a bow tie, black shoes, underwear, socks,

shaving equipment, soap, a hairbrush, a clothesbrush, a

small shoe shine kit, aftershave lotion, deodorant and a

dozen or so rolls of inch-and-a-half wide adhesive tape.

He removes this stuff from a suitcase that is barely big

enough to hold it -- so the mere packing of all this para-

phernalia into such a small space represents something of an

achievement. As he takes the stuff out, he talks to

LANGFORD, his back turned to him.

PUPKIN:

This wasn't an easy decision for

me, Jerry, believe me. For one

thing, I knew it meant we could never

be friends again and that hurt me.

It's hard to lose a friend, even one

who has let you down. You always

hope you can patch things up. You

know, a guy like me doesn't make

friends that easily.

PUPKIN pauses a moment, then turns to LANGFORD, his voice

filled with emotion.

PUPKIN:

Why didn't you just listen to the

tape when I asked you? Then I

wouldn't have to be doing all this.

Was it really too much to expect --

a few minutes of your time to listen

to something I'd worked on my whole

life?

LANGFORD's eyes shift rapidly. He is obviously calculating

how to deal with PUPKIN.

LANGFORD:

(with disarming charm)

Hey, if that's what's bothering you,

let's go over to my office and listen

to that tape right now.

PUPKIN:

Are you crazy, Jerry? Do you know

what would happen to me?

MARSHA listens to this exchange a bit nervously. Gesturing

to her gun, she says:

MARSHA:

Am I going to have to hold this

thing all day?

PUPKIN sees she has lowered it practically to her side.

PUPKIN:

(to MARSHA)

Just keep it on him. (to LANGFORD)

You know, Jerry. Friendship is a two-

way street. All that time I was

worrying about you and your ratings

and everything, you couldn't have

cared less about me.

LANGFORD thinks rapidly for a beat or two.

LANGFORD:

You're right. You know that? I

was thoughtless. It's just that

when you're doing a big show, it's

hard to tell who your friends really

are. I was wrong. I apologize.

Why don't we just shake hands and

forget the whole thing?

PUPKIN:

(suspiciously)

That's easy to say, Jerry.

LANGFORD:

But I mean it. I'll tell them that

the whole thing was a joke and then

we can go to my office and listen to

that tape. Come on. What do you say?

LANGFORD rises with his hand extended toward PUPKIN.

MARSHA:

(to LANGFORD, sharply)

Sit down!

LANGFORD looks to PUPKIN.

MARSHA:

I said sit!

LANGFORD reluctantly sits down.

PUPKIN:

(to MARSHA)

What's the matter? You heard

what he said.

MARSHA:

All of a sudden, with a gun on him,

he wants to make up and be friends.

And, once he's out the door, what

happens then?

PUPKIN:

What happens then, Jerry?

MARSHA:

You get to his office and they

jump you, that's what happens, Rupert.

PUPKIN:

She's right, Jerry.

LANGFORD:

Not if I tell them not to. This is

Jerry, Rupert, I give you my word.

PUPKIN:

(to MARSHA)

He gives me his word.

MARSHA:

Yeah? And what else? Come on,

Rupert, I'm sick of waiting.

PUPKIN:

And what else, Jerry?

LANGFORD:

Come on, Rupert. My word's good

enough, isn't it.

PUPKIN stares at LANGFORD for a few beats. Then he shakes

his head sadly and says in a very quiet, discouraged voice.

PUPKIN:

No, Jerry. It's not. (to MARSHA)

Keep the gun up!

PUPKIN comes over to LANGFORD with a few rolls of adhesive

tape in his hand.

PUPKIN:

I'm sorry to do it this way, Jerry,

but I'm no good at knots. Just put

your arms up and out, okay?

LANGFORD spreads his arms back against the brass bedstead.

As PUPKIN goes to tape them, LANGFORD tries to grab him,

but, with sudden, demonic force, PUPKIN pins him against

the bedstead. They are practically nose to nose.

PUPKIN:

Oh, no, Jerry. None of that. Now

hold still.

CUT TO:

99INT:
A LARGE EXECUTIVE OFFICE - DAY

We are in the office of WILSON CROCKETT, president of the

National Broadcasting Network. CROCKETT sits behind his

desk, facing a group which includes several other NETWORK

EXECUTIVES, BERT THOMAS, CATHY LONG, F.B.I. INSPECTOR

PATTEN, and his assistant, GIARDELLO. They are in the

midst of debate.

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