The King of Comedy Page #7

RITA:

Oh, no. I do. Really!

PUPKIN:

It's not the bar, Rita. Don't tell

me it's the bar.

RITA:

Don't be angry. It has nothing to

do with you. I had a nice dinner,

really. It was great seeing you

again.

PUPKIN stare at her icily.

RITA:

Come on. Let's see a smile.

PUPKIN:

Why don't we finish the evening up

at the bar together? End the evening

where it began?

RITA:

After what happened there?

PUPKIN:

Well, I could at least drop you off!

RITA:

(hurriedly making up her face)

That's okay. Really. I can manage.

Why don't you just go to a movie or

something? Don't let me spoil your

evening.

PUPKIN:

But that wouldn't be right.

RITA gets up and stands before PUPKIN.

RITA:

(firmly)

Look, Rupert. It's been a lot of fun,

really. I'll see you sometime, huh?

PUPKIN:

But Rita!

RITA starts moving towards the door.

RITA:

Come on, Rupert. I'm in a hurry.

RITA marches out with PUPKIN trailing behind. He throws

the check and the ten dollar bill at the CASHIER.

16EXT. THE STREET - NIGHT

CAMERA FOLLOWS PUPKIN as he streaks out the door and jumps

into the adjacent doorway, immediately peering down the

street. He spies the YOUNG MAN and RITA walking about

three quarters of a block down and follows them, keeping

out of sight. They turn occasionally to see if he's

around, then stop turning. They go around the corner and

disappear into a large apartment building. PUPKIN rushes

after them, positioning himself across from the building.

He searches the windows for some clue as to where they

have gone. Finally a set of lights go on on the fourth

floor and a MAN's shadow is seen closing two sets of

blinds.

CUT TO:

17 INT:
THE APARTMENT BUILDING FOYER - NIGHT

PUPKIN enters the building and finds himself in a small

entranceway. The door to the lobby is locked. Next to

the door, on the wall, are listed the tenants, their

apartment numbers and a button next to each name. There is

an intercom speaker. There are eight apartments listed on

the fourth floor, running from 4A to 4H. PUPKIN looks them

over, takes a deep breath and pushes 4A.

CUT TO:

18INT:
YOUNG MAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

It is an extremely well-furnished studio apartment with all

the requirements of a contemporary bachelor pad -- an

imitation bearskin rug, nice bookshelves including an

elaborate stereo system, recessed lighting, including a

soft spotlight on the Queen-sized bed with its pseudo-satin

cover. The YOUNG MAN and RITA stand in the middle of the

room. RITA looks about uneasily. No intercom buzzer sounds.

YOUNG MAN:

Welcome to the pleasure dome.

RITA:

You don't kid around, do you?

YOUNG MAN:

(smiling)

I do alright. What's your libation?

RITA:

Huh?

YOUNG MAN:

Your potion. Your drink.

RITA:

Bourbon and soda. Make it light.

The YOUNG MAN goes to his chic little bar and starts fixing

RITA a strong bourbon and soda. He also fixes himself a

strong scotch and water. As he works, they talk.

YOUNG MAN:

You from the South?

RITA:

Me?

YOUNG MAN:

That's what Southern people drink.

Lots of bourbon.

RITA:

What do people from Jersey drink?

YOUNG MAN:

I make it a point to study things

like that. It's important to know

people's backgrounds, their tastes,

their culture. It gives you a little

head start.

The YOUNG MAN turns from the bar and hands RITA her drink.

YOUNG MAN:

I'm Chet. Whom do I have the

pleasure of serving?

RITA:

I'm Mary.

YOUNG MAN:

Pleased to meat you, Mary. (He lifts

his glass) To our evening.

CUT TO:

19INT:
THE ENTRANCEWAY - NIGHT

PUPKIN stands before the intercom.

WOMAN'S VOICE

Who?

PUPKIN:

Rita Keane. I want to talk to her.

WOMAN'S VOICE

Rita Keane?

PUPKIN:

That's right. Oh, never mind. I

must have the wrong apartment.

WOMAN'S VOICE

There's no Rita here.

PUPKIN:

I know. I know. I'm sorry to bother

you.

WOMAN'S VOICE

You must have the wrong apartment.

PUPKIN:

I'm sorry.

PUPKIN pushes 4B.

CUT TO:

20INT:
YOUNG MAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

RITA is seated on the couch. The YOUNG MAN is putting a

record on the phonograph. Once again, the intercom doesn't

sound. PUPKIN has drawn another blank.

YOUNG MAN:

Leisure is America's fastest growing

industry. Did you know that? Think

about it. Short work weeks, more

vacation. People need something to

do with all that time and that's where

I come in. Leisure Villages, Inc.

We buy land an hour or so outside

your metropolitan centers. We set

up the bungalows, dig some lakes, lay

out a golf course, you know, fix the

whole place up so it's usable. Then

young, personable guys like me show

the people around. It the guy seems

tight, we point out the investment

factor. If he's a swinger, well,

the bungalows are very private. If

he's a sports nut, we talk up skiing

and fishing and tennis.

The phonograph starts playing Burt Bachrach.

YOUNG MAN:

What's your work, Mary?

The YOUNG MAN walks back to her and stands over her.

RITA:

Me. I fly for National.

YOUNG MAN:

(delighted)

No kidding?

RITA:

What's that smell?

YOUNG MAN:

Sandalwood incense. It seemed very

you.

CUT TO:

21INT:
THE ENTRANCEWAY - NIGHT

PUPKIN yells into the intercom.

PUPKIN:

I said I'm sorry!

We hear the intercom at the other end click off. PUPKIN

pauses a moment and pushes 4C.

CUT TO:

22INT:
YOUNG MAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

RITA and the YOUNG MAN are seated on the couch. Still no

buzzer. As the YOUNG MAN talks, RITA is staring at a

woman's shoe lying underneath a small table that holds a

lamp.

YOUNG MAN:

Did you know that you have remarkable

hair?

RITA:

Yeah? You know what? I feel like

going to a movie.

YOUNG MAN:

Now?

RITA:

Sure. Why not? It's only twenty of

ten. We can make a ten o'clock show.

The YOUNG MAN takes her hands and looks deep into her eyes.

YOUNG MAN:

Why don't we make our own movie?

RITA:

No. I don't think so.

YOUNG MAN:

Don't be so uptight. Give it a chance.

RITA:

I want to go to the movies, that's all.

YOUNG MAN:

We can go to the movies later.

RITA pulls her hands away.

RITA:

Let's stop playing games, okay.

I'm not a kid.

YOUNG MAN:

You have something against pleasure?

RITA:

I'm just not interested in being

tonight's ritual sacrifice, okay?

YOUNG MAN:

Shall I freshen up your drink?

RITA shakes her head.

YOUNG MAN:

(growing irritated)

What exactly did you think we were

going to do up here?

CUT TO:

23 INT:
THE ENTRANCEWAY - NIGHT

PUPKIN pushes 4D and waits.

MAN'S VOICE

Yeah?

CUT TO:

24INT:
YOUNG MAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

The YOUNG MAN is practically sitting on RITA's lap. He

has RITA backed up against the end of the couch.

YOUNG MAN:

Look, if you've got sexual problems

let's talk about them. It helps

clear the air.

RITA:

There's nothing wrong with me.

YOUNG MAN:

Then it's me?

RITA:

I don't even know you.

YOUNG MAN:

Then find out. Sex is a great way

of breaking down barriers.

RITA:

I don't think so.

YOUNG MAN:

I'm sure this could lead to something

beautiful.

The YOUNG MAN kisses RITA roughly.

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