The King of Comedy Page #9

CUT TO:

39INT:
THE RECEPTION AREA OF THE JERRY LANGFORD SHOW

OFFICES - DAY

A bored, plump, middle-aged RECEPTIONIST sits behind a

large desk that holds a phone receiver connected to a

small switchboard. PUPKIN presents himself.

RECEPTIONIST:

Yes sir?

PUPKIN:

Mr. Langford, please.

RECEPTIONIST:

Your name?

PUPKIN:

Pupkin. Rupert Pupkin.

The RECEPTIONIST puts a call through. Wide-eyed, PUPKIN

observes the blow-ups of Langford talking with various

celebrities.

FADE TO:

40 INT:
A TELEVISION STUDIO - DAY

LANGFORD is seated at his desk on stage and PUPKIN is his

guest. WE SEE television cameras and in the background,

the control room.

PUPKIN:

You know the secret of dieting, Jerry?

Grapefruit. It's good for you. It's

filling. And it's low in calories.

LANGFORD:

(to the camera)

Take note of that, you ladies.

PUPKIN:

As a matter of fact, yesterday I went

to the outdoor market near where I

live and I bought twenty grapefruit.

The grocer looked at me and said,

"What are you gonna do with all those?"

So I bent over and told him (in a

confidential tone) "I'm gonna take 'em

back to Florida and set 'em free!"

LANGFORD and the AUDIENCE laugh heartily.

FADE TO:

41INT:
THE RECEPTION AREA -- DAY

RECEPTIONIST:

(holding the phone and

talking to PUPKIN)

I'm sorry, Mr. Pupkin, but Mr. Langford's

secretary has no record of any appointment.

PUPKIN:

Pardon me?

RECEPTIONIST:

Mr. Langford's secretary has no

record of any appointment.

PUPKIN:

Well, technically speaking, I don't

actually have an appointment. Jerry

asked me to call him today and when

I couldn't get through, I thought ...

As PUPKIN talks, a VISITOR has entered and stands behind

him waiting for the RECEPTIONIST's attention.

RECEPTIONIST:

I see. (Into the phone) He says Mr.

Langford asked him to call. (To

PUPKIN) Mr. Langford's secretary wants

to know what this is in reference to.

The RECEPTIONIST glances past PUPKIN to the VISITOR

waiting.

RECEPTIONIST:

(to PUPKIN)

Would you mind talking to her yourself?

The RECEPTIONIST hands the phone to PUPKIN and occupies

herself with the VISITOR.

PUPKIN:

Hello? ... Jerry and I discussed

my being on the show last night and

he told me to call ... No. I don't

mind.

PUPKIN hands the phone back to the RECEPTIONIST.

PUPKIN:

I'm supposed to wait.

The RECEPTIONIST listens to the phone for a moment and then

hangs up. The VISITOR has just disappeared into the back

offices. PUPKIN stands there, smiling politely at the

RECEPTIONIST who returns a professional smile.

PUPKIN:

Who was that gentleman? (PUPKIN

indicates with a glance to the

entrance to the back offices that

he is referring to the VISITOR)

RECEPTIONIST:

Mr. Gangemi.

PUPKIN draws a complete blank but wants to appear

knowledgeable.

PUPKIN:

Oh, I see. Mr. Gangemi.

RECEPTIONIST:

He takes care of our air conditioning.

CATHY LONG emerges from the back offices. She is a tall,

modishly-dressed, attractive woman in her early thirties.

CATHY LONG:

Uh ... Mr. Pupkin?

PUPKIN:

Yes?

CATHY LONG:

I'm Cathy Long.

PUPKIN:

I'm Mr. Pupkin.

CATHY LONG:

Can I help you?

PUPKIN:

I'm sorry, but you are?

CATHY LONG:

I'm Bert Thomas' assistant.

PUPKIN:

Bert Thomas?

CATHY LONG:

He's our executive producer.

PUPKIN:

Oh, yes. I'm sure he is. But, you

see, I've already talked directly

with Jerry about my being on the show

and he told me to get in touch with

him. I'm just here to follow up on

that.

CATHY LONG:

What do you do, Mr. Pupkin?

PUPKIN:

Stand-up comedy.

CATHY LONG:

Fine. Where are you working?

PUPKIN:

Well, right now I'm developing new

material.

CATHY LONG:

I see. Well, as soon as you start

performing again, let us know where

you are and I'll send my assistant

down to check you out.

PUPKIN:

Sure. Sure. But that's not necessary,

Miss Long. Jerry and I already went

over all this.

CATHY LONG:

Does Jerry know your work?

PUPKIN:

(nodding)

Yes. I don't think he does.

CATHY LONG:

You don't happen to have a tape or a

demo that we might listen to?

PUPKIN:

Oh, sure. I've got lots of tapes.

That's no problem.

CATHY LONG:

Good. Why don't you just send one

to us and I assure you we'll listen

to it promptly.

PUPKIN:

Great. I'll do that. I can see

that'd be a lot easier for Jerry.

Thanks a lot, Miss Long.

CATHY LONG:

Don't mention it, Mr. Pupkin. Now,

if you'd excuse me ...

PUPKIN:

Sure. Sure. Thanks again.

CATHY LONG leaves. PUPKIN, left standing there, smiles at

the RECEPTIONIST who returns another professional smile.

PUPKIN:

(to the RECEPTIONIST)

Thanks.

CUT TO:

42EXT:
THE UPPER-BROADWAY HIGH-RISE OFFICE BUILDING - DAY

PUPKIN comes out of the building elated. He is immediately

confronted by MARSHA. PUPKIN continues to walk as MARSHA

skips beside him.

MARSHA:

I've got to speak to you for a minute.

I'm Marsha.

PUPKIN:

Yeah. I know.

MARSHA:

Look. Did Jerry say anything about

me last night?

PUPKIN:

I'm really in a hurry, Marsha ...

MARSHA:

Was he angry? ... In the car last night,

I saw you. Did he talk about me?

PUPKIN:

I thought that was you. That was

some stunt.

MARSHA:

What did he say?

PUPKIN:

We didn't talk about you.

MARSHA:

You know Jerry?

PUPKIN:

Yeah.

MARSHA thrusts an envelope into PUPKIN's hands.

MARSHA:

Give him this for me.

PUPKIN:

Why don't you ...

MARSHA:

Because I can't! Please. I need

your help. You'll be my friend forever.

Come on. I'll buy you something.

What do you want?

She takes a great messy bunch of bills out of her raincoat

pockets and jams them into PUPKIN's hands.

PUPKIN:

I don't want this.

MARSHA:

Take it. I can get all I want.

PUPKIN shrugs and pockets the money.

PUPKIN:

Okay. I'll try.

MARSHA:

(turning cold)

Don't try. Do it. Remember. We

just made a deal.

PUPKIN stares at the envelope.

MARSHA:

And don't open it. It's private.

PUPKIN:

Okay. Okay.

MARSHA:

How soon can you get it to him?

PUPKIN:

I don't know. Couple a days.

MARSHA:

(menacingly)

You'd better.

MARSHA turns and walks in the direction from which they

came. CAMERA FOLLOWS PUPKIN who walks on for a block or

so, then opens the envelope. It contains a set of

apartment keys, a scrap of hand-knitted woolen cloth and a

note in lipstick that reads: "I've made you a sweater,

honey. Come try it on. I miss you. Love, M. 74 East

83rd Street, Apartment 2B!" He takes out the money MARSHA

gave him. There are wads of tens, twenties and fifties

with a sprinkling of fives and ones.

CUT TO:

44EXT:
A TIMES SQUARE HOTEL - DAY

The hotel is just one step up from a flophouse. WE SEE

PUPKIN enter.

CUT TO:

45 INT:
PUPKIN'S ROOM - DAY

PUPKIN enters. WE SEE that it is a small room, furnished

by the hotel in the plainest way. Nicely-done home-made

collages of show business figures decorate the drab green

walls. The room is neat and clean. PUPKIN goes directly

to a plain table which holds two tape recorders -- one a

small cassette the other a large table tape recorder. He

picks up the microphone of the larger one and speaks into

it.

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