The Kings of Summer Page #2

You love it.

Oh, hey. Hey.

- What's up? -Okay, I am

going to get you a beer

so you can catch up.

Okay.

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

- What's up, dude?

- Hey.

How was, uh,

fake family night?

Oh, it was great.

Nothing went wrong.

The police didn't come.

I love my father.

Sh*t.

- Okay, I have beer for you.

- Hey. Thank you.

- Hello. Hello.

- Hello, Kelly.

- How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?

I'm not as drunk as you are.

I think you are.

- Can I have your beer?

- No.

Hey, sorry, bro.

Keg's almost tapped.

No beer for freshmen.

Oh, but he is

a sophomore now, Paul.

Sorry, babe.

No dice, bro.

Oh, man.

You little f***-suckers!

We're trying to sleep!

It's public property, bro!

What?

Who told you that?

We assumed!

I don't trust that old guy.

He has a shadow

behind his eyes.

How long have you

been standing there?

Hello.

That's not an answer.

You little sh*t d*cks!

- Oh, my...

- Jesus! Let's go, let's go.

What the hell

are you doing, guys? Come on!

- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- Let's go! Let's go!

Come on, come on, come on,

come on, come on.

Hey, Joe, do you know we've been

walking for half a mile?

I can tell

by how much we've bonded.

Well, we're lost, and, um...

you haven't said a word

this entire time, so...

How much longer?

I have no idea, Biaggio.

Let's just keep our wits,

and we'll get out of here.

Where are we?

Someplace they won't find you.

What?

Let's go, man.

We got a long walk home.

Hello? Hi.

Hi.

I just wanted to make sure

that you didn't

get shot last night.

No. No, no, no.

I survived.

I, uh, wound up getting stuck

with that kid Biaggio, though.

Oh, yeah, I spoke to him once.

He told me that his uncle died

on the Challenger.

That's the price

of space travel, right?

Uh... yeah, sure.

Um, so get ready for this.

Paul skedaddled on me

last night.

Uh, wow, that's...

that's a dick move.

Tools... out of the driveway now.

- I'm on the phone.

- Oh.

I don't give a sh*t.

Right now.

Is everything okay there?

- No!

- Who is this? Patrick?

- Kelly.

- Kelly. A girl.

- Jesus, that's

a pleasant surprise. -Dad...

Listen, Kelly, Joe can't talk

right now because he's grounded.

He will call

you back sometime

before his hot new bedtime

of 7:
30.

You have a good night.

Okay.

Tools. Now.

And if they're ruined,

you're going to work

the whole set off

this summer. I mean it.

A paper route.

Big Chief Indian Corn.

Goddamn Ohio Soccer Jazz.

I don't care.

You have your pick.

This bullshit ends today.

Yes, it does.

I can't walk

all day like this, Joe.

Okay.

We're almost there.

Just 50 yards.

Almost where?

What the hell

could you be showing me

in the woods right now?

What is this, Joe?

You want your room

facing sunrise or sunset?

My what?!

This is the site

of our new house, man.

What, like a tree house?

No, like a real house.

I'm moving out.

We're moving out.

What the hell are

you talking about?

My mom won't let me walk

around the house

without socks on.

She's definitely

not going to let us

live out here in the woods.

No one will

find us out here, Patrick.

This house,

this land, it's ours!

We make the rules, you know?

Like men!

So we're just going

to move out here

and, uh, build a house

from scratch?

How hard can it be?

Hold on... what is this kid

doing here?

I don't know.

I'm afraid to tell him to leave.

I don't know

what he's capable of.

Forget him.

Break ground with me, man.

Look, I'm sorry, Joe,

but I can't do this.

Call me when you get home.

Patrick?

So you wore

the blue shirt today?

Not the one

with the pocket?

- He's got the blue one on.

- Yeah.

Whoa, rope in

the attitude, mister.

This is your mother

you're speaking to.

- Come on, buddy. Come on.

- Huh? Huh?

- My word. -Sorry, Dad.

- Who is he doing a show for?

Oh, my gosh, I know,

it's like he's on camera.

Are there girls around?

Yeah, there must be. Uh-oh.

Girl check.

Checking for a girl in a bikini.

Nope. I don't see one.

Those hormones are a-ragin'.

Hello?

I'm in.

- What?

- The house.

I'll do it.

Yes! Yes! Holy sh*t! Yes!

Okay. Awesome.

Well, we'll break ground

tomorrow.

Yeah, right.

Hello?

Joe, what do you tell your dad

when you leave all the time?

If we were talking, I still

wouldn't tell him sh*t.

Jesus, what happened

between you two?

Nothing.

He's just an old, lonely prick,

and I want to get out of there

before I end up

anything like him.

Joe?

Can I talk to you

for a second?

- You made this?

- I did.

Took very little time.

Very few days.

"My name is Jamal Colorado,

and I have kidnapped your son.

"He is unharmed,

and will stay that way

if you abide by

the following rules."

"Jamal Colorado"?

"Anfernee Texas"?

"D'Sean Utah"?

Yeah, I decided on the format

of Denzel Washington:

A black first name,

followed by a state.

Yeah, f*** that.

We're not using those.

Okay, Biaggio,

good effort...

although very poorly

planned out

and, um...

savagely racist.

I just didn't want

to do nothing.

Dad, um...

I'm gonna spend the night

at Patrick's tonight,

if that's okay.

Okay, and make sure

you're in bed by 7:30.

I'll call the Keenans.

Freedom!

F*** you, Frank!

Honey, I got

the classic ciabatta bread.

- They finally had it.

- You're getting wild.

- Sliced.

- Yeah.

- This is our big day.

- You're crazy.

We usually do

rustic ciabatta.

I know it.

Mom, Dad, I'm going to spend

the night at Joe's.

Oh, okay, honey.

Well, I already made

dinner, though,

so take some vegetable soup

for you and Joe.

Uh, no, thanks.

No one likes

vegetable soup, Mom.

Well...

Okay, we're

in Pretendland, I guess.

"Nobody likes

vegetable soup."

- Did you hear this, honey?

- I heard it.

- Oh, my God.

- He's your son.

Listen, tell Mr. Toy

to put some white rice

underneath it.

It'll be delightful.

Mom, no.

No vegetable soup.

We're not eating vegetable soup.

I'm getting a Tupperware.

Here, take this tomato.

Jesus.

You okay, fatty?

No.

No, I'm not.

I- I'm really nervous.

We're really doing this, huh?

Yes, we are.

I've never done

anything like this, Joe.

It's starting to freak me out.

Well, uh, neither have I.

Kind of the point.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.

Just, okay, before I make

a big decision,

I always, you know,

say to myself,

"I'll do it unless God gives me

a definitive omen

in the next 30 seconds."

So, you know,

it's just some

dumb superstition I have.

If you don't want

to do it, that's fine.

But...

Sure, yeah.

It's...

Yeah, so just like,

close your eyes, and yeah.

You got it.

Oh.

Okay, let's go.

Wait, what?

No, no, that was thunder.

Definitely a bad omen.

No, come on,

that was thunder.

That's a tree.

This is a rock.

Come on, man, it's nature.

It's not an omen.

Have some common sense.

- "Common sense"?

- It's not like a raven

told us to go away.

Yeah, we're doing this.

Oh, God.

Ready?

All right, let's unpack.

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