The Kings of Summer Page #5

Bullshit.

No, it's true. I've seen it.

I rest my case.

Did you take anything out?

No, he doesn't

want your money.

He just does it for sport.

You know, um,

I picked those flowers myself.

Oh, yeah.

They're really pretty.

So what is

this all supposed to be?

This is the den.

Oh, this is the den.

How stupid of me.

Um, and that...

that is the master bedroom.

Wow.

This is really amazing, Joe.

I mean, I had no idea

how talented you were.

I mean, of course,

I suspected, but...

- Of course. Right.

- Of course.

That's horrible.

Yeah. Uh...

Vicki's making eyes

at you, man.

Go talk to her.

Look at her.

She's so into it.

There's no point

in me talking to her anyways.

Why not?

Joe...

I'm gay.

Are you sure? Um...

Yes.

My lungs fill up with fluid

every time the seasons change.

That's not being gay, Biaggio.

What?

I'm pretty sure

that's cystic fibrosis.

Oh.

Biaggio, I don't know why

you're smiling... cystic fibrosis

is not a walk in the park.

It's actually

a very serious medical...

Hey, what-what about Kelly?

She's just doing what...

all girls do.

You know?

Pretending like

she doesn't care.

Playing hard to get.

I don't know.

Oh, man.

Hey.

Patrick?

- Yeah?

- Can you sleep?

Um... yeah.

Well, do you want to go

for a walk or something?

'Cause I can't sleep.

- Sure.

- Okay.

Hey, Joe?

Joe, we're leaving.

Are you awake?

Biaggio!

Jesus Christ, dude.

Stay above the surface

where I could see you, okay?

Um...

Look, I'm gonna go for a walk.

Don't wait up.

You should try not

to think about them so much.

Yeah, uh...

I'm sorry I'm not more fun

to be around right now.

Call me with anything.

Okay? Anything.

I'm not far.

Yeah. Thanks.

Take care, Colin.

Have fun with... singing.

Oh. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Um, I'm actually

part of a...

a cappella band called Mmm.

So long.

Uh, we're actually,

uh, performing

12-part harmony to, uh,

"And the Band Played On."

- Good night.

- Do you know the song?

Uh, I'll just do the chorus,

then, just real fast.

Oh, babe,

I don't think it's...

# Casey would waltz #

# With the strawberry blonde #

# And the band #

- # Played on #

Thank you.

# He'd glide cross the floor

with the girl #

# He adored, and the #

# Band played on #

Great.

# His brain was so loaded #

# It nearly #

- # Exploded #

- Still going.

# The poor girl

would shake with alarm #

# He'd never leave

the girl with the #

# Strawberry curls #

# And the #

# Band #

# Played... #

- # On... #

- Okay. Oh, babe.

- Babe.

- Ooh!

I think I may never get

an erection again.

Dad! Jesus!

Well... I mean...

Uh, it was good

seeing you again.

All right, drive safe.

Aw, come on.

Come on, honey, he just...

serenaded me... I can't pretend

- that's acceptable.

- Right.

Thanks for giving it

the old college try.

I appreciate it.

I got to go.

Sh*t, I'm sorry.

Heather.

I'm not a bastard, am I?

No, Dad, a bastard would make

everyone around him miserable

just 'cause he is.

Hey.

Hey, uh, we...

You do your thing. Just...

I'll see you kids...

back at the house.

Look... don't worry.

He could never be mad at you.

You guys are like brothers.

This is different.

This is way different.

Did this work?

Running away?

I mean, are you

really happy out here?

Yeah. You know, I'm just...

I'm happy to be

wherever my parents are not.

Ah...

Is anything better

than a good stogie, Biaggio?

Being in a situation

where it's easier to lie

but you choose

to tell the truth.

Hmm.

Guess that is better.

Okay, I will trade

you B&O Railroad

for both your utilities.

- Eh.

- Eh...

Eh... and this "Get Out

of Jail Free" card.

Deal.

Deal. That's a good deal.

That's a good trade.

What?

Yeah.

All four railroads

for the utilities

and your

"Get Out of Jail Free" card.

Savvy.

Oh, look at that...

"Free Parking."

You know what?

I think I'm gonna buy

some more houses.

How many is "more"?

Give me a second.

Actually...

Biaggio, I will

give you Baltic,

Park Place and both my greens

- for both your oranges.

- I want $1,000.

- I'll give you $50.

- Okay.

Pleasure doing

business with you.

You just went

from $1,000 to $50?

The men... are talking.

Yes, Patrick,

the men are talking.

Realtor,

could I please get

- three hotels?

- Oh, yeah, sure. On what?

Orange. What I just bought.

There you go,

property manager.

What's up, Joe?

Nothing's up.

It's your roll.

Look, Joe, if I roll a six,

an eight or a nine,

things are gonna get

very bad in here.

I don't know what

to tell you, buddy.

Just think of all the

other numbers in the world.

Is everything okay

with you guys?

Yeah.

We're golden.

What was that play, Joe?!

- Jesus! It is a game!

- That was the lowest,

shittiest, d*ckhead move

I've ever seen.

Second lowest.

Wow.

No one was ever trying

to hurt you, Joe.

It was never about you!

We just... It just happened!

- Get over it!

- I'm over it!

The b*tch wants you,

then she's

not good enough for me anyway!

Who the f*** are you,

Mary J. Blige?

- Jesus Christ!

- Joe, I...

Shut up, Kelly!

All right?

Everything was fine

until you came into the picture.

You're like...

Jesus, you're like a cancer!

Uh...

I'm gonna go.

What was that, Joe?

You know what?

Go be with her.

Go hang with Kelly

and your goddamn mother.

I don't...

Joe, I don't want to go.

Joe, I want to stay here.

- You want to stay here? -This

is the most fun I've ever had.

We built this house together!

- Go be with her, man, hmm?

- Joe, I don't want to go.

- Get out of here, man!

- Come on, man, I didn't...

Come on!

I'll get the tools.

We'll fix it.

Leave me alone, Biaggio.

What do you mean?

I'm saying I want to be alone.

Go away.

Don't mince words with me, Joe.

We've been through too much.

Just leave.

Kelly!

Kelly.

I didn't mean for any

of this to happen.

I didn't want

to come between friends.

I've just... I've...

No!

Damn it!

God...!

F***!

We didn't want to wake you.

Yeah.

Welcome home, Patrick.

Stop.

Yep.

Glad you're back.

The report says this boy

was with him the whole week.

He's given us

nothing so far.

He has a contempt

for the law

I've never seen in a minor.

Look at him.

He won't sit down.

He won't deflate the room.

It's actually

quite sophisticated.

This kid is in my head.

If you need to leave, Sergeant,

there's no shame in it.

Yeah, maybe just to...

splash a bit of cold water

on my face.

There is shame in it,

but please leave anyway.

Oh, God.

And Patrick?

He says he

hasn't seen Joe

since they split up.

No.

It stays on.

Oh, my God.

Dude!

Hey!

Dude, this is my spot, man!

You're ruining my spot!

I thought you said you'd

never been here before.

I haven't.

Freak.

- I'm sorry.

- Come on.

I got another spot.

No fear!

Sorry.

We were just... hungry.

I guess we were all just hungry.

Sorry I yelled.

Goddamn it.

"Save the heart and liver

if you wish

and cut from rectum

to collar bone."

Well, anyway, if you guys

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