The Lady Is Willing Page #5

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getting started on your rabbits.

Let's make it Saturday, hmm?

Hello.

This is Doctor McBain,

my fianc.

Look...

Give me your card?

I know you want the baby

and I want the rabbits, but...

Call this number

Saturday morning at 7:30

so he won't forget to marry me.

Oh, Saturday I have a matinee!

Make it Monday. Monday, 7:30.

Now, look, Miss Madden, I...

I...

Could you make it 8?

Shouldn't we say something?

Well, here's to the bride and

the groom, and to those lost souls

who clear up wedding breakfasts.

Miss Buddy, what

they make this stuff out of?

Grapes.

Grapes?

Ain't very purple, is it?

Thanks, Miss Madden.

This'll put the war back on page 10!

You're perfectly welcome, boys.

I thought reporters wore their hats

on the back of their heads.

That's just in the movies.

Why, Corey!

Don't worry, it's indelible.

Do you think I've forgotten

how you hate my lipstick?

I can just hear him now.

"How do you get lipstick

all over my good shirts,

all over my good ties,

all over my good pyjamas,

all over the pillow cases?

You even get it in my ears!"

Mrs McBain, uh, Mrs McBain.

Oh, Corey, you're

still a social dud!

"Mrs McBain, meet Mrs McBain."

Why, that's silly! I'm Mrs McBain.

What's your name?

It's a surprise to me, but I guess

I'm Mrs McBain Number Two.

Oh, Corey!

Why, as far as I know,

I'm Number One.

We're in the dark, Bluebeard.

What number am I?

Er, two.

I must be the last.

We were just married this morning.

There'd hardly be time for a third.

Why, congratulations!

Incidentally, he has

a mania for rabbits.

Imagine.

If he ever starts

talking about rabbits,

you run like mad!

Gee, that's a cute baby.

Whose is it?

Ours.

Uh, that was...

One of the small personal disasters

that interrupted your work?

Shame on you for forgetting!

Ain't nobody coming fresh

into this house without first

she's toted over the doorstep!

Oh, Mary Lou,

don't be so sentimental.

Yes, ma'am.

But it's bad luck

just to walk in.

Do you mind?

No, it's a nice tradition.

Take him, but be careful.

I better have

the coats and hats, then.

OK. There you go.

That's better.

Now that charming

ceremony's over, you'd

better look at the nursery

before that decorator

puts in a scenic railway.

Come on, my pet,

I'll show you your nice little room.

Oh, you better come too

and see what you've

gotten yourself in for.

You're back home, angel,

you're back home.

You should've found out what kind

of an imagination this gal had

before you told her to let it run wild.

The admission is two bits.

It's wonderful.

It's so gay.

You don't think you're

spoiling Corey, do you?

All it needs is a guy

selling cotton candy.

Hello.

How do you do?

Isn't it heavenly, Corey, darling?

Well, it...

Looks as if somebody's gonna

be called "Junior" around here.

I wouldn't be surprised

if you're it.

Would you like to see

the rest of your apartment?

Yeah, thanks.

This is where you hang your hat.

Well!

This came just after you left.

You better open it.

I think it's spoiled.

I didn't order this.

You're not supposed to order anything.

You just tell me what you want,

tables, microscopes...

Let's not get off to a false start.

I'll buy my own equipment.

Send me the bills for this...

Somebody ought

to tell me.

I thought Miss Madden was

setting you up in rabbits in return

for making an honest mother of her.

Yeah, I know. I'm sort

of a scientific gigolo.

For six years,

I've had a good practice.

I've been miserable,

but I've had a good practice.

I'm not broke.

Now I have no practice, but...

I don't think I'm gonna be

miserable anymore.

Remember when you accused me

of understating everything?

Well, I didn't marry

Miss Madden for free rent.

She, uh, did something to me.

And, uh, she's rather attractive.

I hope you know what

you're doing, Rabbit Man.

Chopin?

Yeah. His concerto

in one too many sharps.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know

you were home yet.

Oh, don't stop. Chopin is perfect

for 4 in the morning.

Four o'clock?

Gosh, I didn't think it was that late.

I got to working, I guess.

Mary Lou always leaves

something for me in the kitchen.

That's good.

Would you care for something?

Want a sandwich or some milk?

Brain food.

You should be in bed.

Possibly. But I'm not.

I can't sleep.

Stop being a doctor,

it's after hours.

Play for me?

All right.

Piano-playing was my mother's idea.

She wanted me to be a Paderewski.

But I disappointed her.

I leaned toward rabbits.

You look like a rabbit yourself

with all that fuzz.

Can you wiggle your nose?

You work too hard.

I always thought acting was easy,

like mattress-testing, till I met you.

You're the first actress I've known.

Didn't you chase chorus girls

in your college days?

I was a student by day

and a busboy at night.

That didn't leave time

for chasing girls.

You work pretty hard yourself.

You may yet be known to history

because you were married

to the famous Doctor McBain.

For a short time.

I'm halfway through my experiment

and it's still holding up.

It is working out, isn't it?

I told you it would.

Yeah.

You, uh, better get some sleep.

I know.

I'll probably look like

a waterfront hag tomorrow.

It'd take more than

staying up all night to do that.

Do what?

Make you look like a hag.

I've been married three months

and finally my husband pays me

a compliment.

Close your eyes and

concentrate on something green.

What, for instance?

That green dress

you wore Friday night.

All right.

When did you see me Friday night?

At the Stork. I dropped in for a drink.

Why didn't you come

over to my table?

You were busy.

Didn't look quite the place

for a husband in name only.

Don't be silly.

That was my leading man.

It doesn't mean anything.

We just work together, that's all.

Well...

My, the sunshine in the park

is sure making him shoot up.

Yes, isn't it?

Ken, the funniest thing happened...

Liza, you're going

to have to face this.

Remember that Mrs Cummings said

if Corey's real parents

showed up within a year, you'd...?

I'm K. K. Miller, attorney.

This is Mr and Mrs Joseph P. Quig,

parents of the baby.

They couldn't be.

Oh, yes, ma'am. He's our baby.

And thanks for keeping

him so swell and everything.

That's a grand name

you gave him, Corey.

I like it better than Joe.

That's his real name,

after his father.

I think I'm gonna

call him that.

Sounds swell. Corey Quig!

Ken, what is this?

A practical joke?

No, Liza.

There's evidence.

Absolutely conclusive evidence.

I don't care what

evidence you have.

I found him, he's mine.

You can't take him.

They have a court order.

I have one too!

Your order's been superseded.

All that remains now is for

the Quigs to identify the baby.

He's ours all right.

I'd know my precious anywheres.

I don't believe it.

But even if it is true,

he was abandoned.

They have no right to him now.

Do something, Ken!

I've done everything

that's possible.

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