The Lady Is Willing Page #6

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Miss Madden, your manager's made

a proposal to which the Quigs

reacted to with repugnance.

But after taking into consideration

the many advantages

the child will have with you...

Yeah, I says to him,

"She can give our Joey

everything we can't.

"Even a college education."

It busts both our hearts.

I'm so glad you realise that.

I assure you...

The question is, the Quigs would

have to expect some compensation for

this supreme sacrifice. Some payment.

They want $25,000.

Well, give it to them!

Liza, you haven't

got $25,000.

Well, get it.

Call somebody.

Call everyone I know.

I have. They've all suffered

big business losses

within the past hour.

All right, then sell everything.

Sell everything I have. Sell my...

Wait a minute. Don't go away.

Please don't go away.

Don't worry, they won't.

Where's she going?

Doctor! Doctor!

We gotta get us $25,000 right away!

$25,000?

Yes, sir!

There's snakes in the parlour saying

they's Butch's folks and they'll carry

him off unless we give them $25,000!

What is this that Mary Lou tells me?

They claim to be Butch's parents.

What proof have they got?

I don't know. I can buy them off.

Wait before you start

this rummage sale.

If they're his parents,

we've no legal right to him.

It looks phoney that they'd

be willing to sell him. There

should be a way of finding out.

Yes, but what and how?

I don't know.

You know that tray

of instruments I use

for the rabbits?

Get it, will you?

What will you do?

I may have to operate.

This is one time in my life

I hope the patient dies on the table.

Mr...?

Miller.

My husband, Doctor McBain.

Mr Miller.

We needn't have disturbed you.

We were just discussing our problem.

I've advised Mrs McBain

to return the child if there's

no doubt about the parentage.

Definitely established,

definitely.

- And this would be Mrs...?

- Quig.

How do you do?

How do you do?

I'd know you were the mother.

Same lovely features.

Oh, thank you, doctor.

I can see where the baby got

his eyes. Almost the same colour.

Although his are a little more...

What colour are his eyes?

I said, what colour would you say

the baby's eyes were?

Uh, er, sort of...

Sort of a blue-green?

Yeah, that's it.

Sort of blue-green mostly.

That's not true.

The baby's eyes are brown.

Right.

What is this?

A jury wouldn't have sympathy

for a mother who couldn't remember

the colour of her baby's eyes.

The eyes change all the time!

Ridiculous.

They've always been brown.

I knew they was brown.

He got me all mixed up.

Is this what you wanted?

Thanks.

What's that?

A syringe for taking blood specimens.

Look...

You don't mind, do you?

It's just for our own satisfaction.

We'd like to be absolutely sure.

I see. I'm afraid that blood

tests aren't admissible

in court to prove parentage.

True. But they can disprove it.

Mrs Quig, would you sit here,

please?

Just roll up your right sleeve.

Darling, get me some

alcohol and cotton.

I typed a sample

of the baby's blood

a short time ago.

Now, by typing Mr and Mrs Quig's

blood we can verify whether...

He's not gonna poke that into me!

I've got a court order here!

It's very simple.

It doesn't hurt very much.

Just clench your fist.

That's right.

No! Get that thing away from me!

I ain't gonna! There was nothing

like this in our agreement!

All we were supposed...

An agreement, Mr Miller?

The court's upholding me in this!

Maybe the court would like

to know about your agreement.

And that she refused a blood test.

Possibly because she's not

sure Mr Quig's the father.

Hey, what kind of a crack is that?

He's damaging my reputation!

What as, an extortionist?

I got a good mind to sock you.

I got a good mind to sock you too!

You got us into this!

I came here in good faith,

for these people. I agreed

to assist in a just cause.

Now I find they're lying.

I withdraw from the matter!

No, you don't!

You arranged it all.

You found out we had a kid

and used to live in that house!

He's lying! I'm willing

to go to court to prove it!

Sock him, Joe!

Attaboy!

Hey, you leave my Joe alone!

What do you mean,

giving me that stuff? Cut it out!

Better stay out of the way

of any flying furniture.

That's for luck.

Not fair! That's not fair!

Mr Ken! Up on Lenox Avenue

they sort of:

That's right, Mr Ken!

Just like that!

It reminds me

of my old burlesque days!

I'll get even with you,

if it's the last thing I ever...

Kicking a lady, eh?

Hurt your foot?

She's not as soft as she looks.

- Who was that lady I passed in midair?

- That was no lady.

Strange.

Oh, did I miss something?

No, no, no, no.

I was supposed to hold him

no matter what happened.

It's all right, Myrtle.

How d'you like that, Butch?

Not bad for a couple of amateurs.

Thank you.

Hey, Butch, I think this

calls for a celebration,

don't you? You do?

Would you mind asking your mother

if anybody's picking her up

tonight for supper?

Say, "No, nobody important."

Would you ask her

if 11.15 would be all right?

I never had a date

with an actress before.

Tell him to make it 11.30.

And tell him he might also shave.

Oh... OK, Butch.

Now, the finale's just going on.

You stand right over there

and you can see it.

Strange thing

You linger in this heart of mine

Strange thing

You're something that I can't define

What is this lilting song

My heart would sing

Is it a passing thing

Is it a touch of spring

But only love will tell

Strange thing, I know you

You're my heart's desire

Love's lonely longing

Of a heart afire

Read, then, my future

In the stars above

The stars up above

Read and foretell

All shall be well

All shall be well

And I find love

All shall be well today

Well today

And this eternal

OK, strike it!

Oh, Miss Madden?

Miss Madden!

That was wonderful.

You better call me Liza in public.

Theatre people are very informal.

Come on,

I'm a quick-change artist.

I'll only be a minute.

Come in.

Darling!

Oh, Victor.

See that stricken expression

on my face tonight?

I certainly did.

You nearly broke me up.

I almost broke myself up.

This is Doctor McBain,

my husband. This is Victor,

our leading man.

Your leading man, darling.

How do you do?

Er, how do you do?

You were the one in the tights,

weren't you?

Where shall it be tonight, darling?

Know what I feel like?

One of Ruben's sandwiches.

I'm sorry, dear.

I can't tonight.

You don't mind, do you?

Of course, I do. Why?

I'm sorry, I didn't know

you were planning...

Don't be ridiculous.

Vicky can take me out any night.

Of course. It's not every night

you get a husband hopped up

to make the rounds.

Have a swell time.

Try the Gardenia Room,

at the Island Club.

Soft lights and superb

for holding hands.

Night.

Well, a bottle of champagne.

A big bottle, the best.

What vintage, sir?

Oh, uh...

You pick it out.

Just so it's very good.

Very good, sir.

And, uh, big.

Big? Oh, yes, yes, sir.

We're celebrating.

Why?

Being out with you

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