The Lady Vanishes Page #5

Don't just sit there like a dummy.

Do something!

Well, if you won't, I will.

I'm gonna stop this train.

Everybody! There's a woman missing

on this train! Miss Froy.

God knows what they're doing to her.

Help me find her, please!

It's neurosis. It's nothing to be

ashamed of, everybody's neurotic.

Luckily for us, Sigmund Freund

just moved to London.

(Shouting in German)

Shut up!

- Aussteigen!

- So's your old man!

- Next stop, out, out, out!

- OK, OK!

I think they're gonna kick you off

at the next stop.

Mr Condon, we shall arrive

in Mullenbach in half an hour.

I shall be getting off there

with my patient.

If you could persuade Mrs Kelly, she

could spend the night in a private ward.

Forget it, Doc. Nobody's gonna

persuade me to do anything.

Now, I wish you'd all leave me alone.

Come back to my compartment.

Will you please just...get lost!

Ich hab gesagt, Sie mssen aussteigen!

- Geht in Ordnung.

- It is good.

Jawohl, Herr Doktor.

Go get some strudel.

The poor child is exhausted.

Why do you not let her rest?

I will make certain she is all right.

What do you think, Doctor?

- I think I will say goodbye now.

- Goodbye?

Goodbye, Mr Condon, and good luck.

I'm booked to London so I'll make sure

she gets to her bridegroom in one piece.

- Very well.

- And thank you.

Don't mention it.

- Bye, Mrs Kelly.

- Goodbye.

- Are you sure you don't mind?

- I am sure.

Watch out for yourself, buster.

Watch out.

- OK, Baroness. Now we can talk.

- Talk?

You're obviously

a very intelligent person, right?

And you know we both saw

Miss Froy, right?

Which means you have

some very intelligent reason

for saying you didn't see her.

I don't understand

why you're being so mysterious.

OK.

You won't talk.

Ten minutes late

thanks to that fool of a girl.

You couldn't put it to her in some way?

- What?

- People don't just vanish and so forth.

- She has.

- What?

- Vanished.

- Who?

That nanny person.

Yes.

- Well?

- I mean, how could she?

- What?

- Vanish.

- I don't know.

- Exactly. People don't just disappear.

- Nonsense. Done every day in India.

- What?

- Rope trick.

- Oh, that.

(Baroness) Hans, mach das Fenster auf.

Jawohl, Baroness.

It was some time

before I could endure one again.

I've ordered a nice cutlet of salmon

and a small leg of lamb.

Peas if possible.

(Rose) ..what the weather's been like.

At least the leaves won't have fallen.

I hate the leaves.

Still, when they're burning

the smell is beautiful.

(Baroness screams)

Thank God, thank God! I know you think

I'm crazy but they're trying to kill me!

- Maybe I am crazy...

- You're not crazy at all!

- ..living beyond my emotional means.

- "Beyond my emotional means"? Good.

I was in my compartment

when the darnedest thing happened.

- What?

- Some rubbish hit the window

and plastered on the glass before

my eyes was a label - a tea label.

Harriman's Herbal.

- Harriman's Herbal!

- A gaudy design in four or five colours.

A strange thought crossed my mind.

An actual thought? Do tell!

"My God," I thought,

"maybe that crazy girl

"with the wild body

and no brassiere is right!"

If there is a Miss Froy

we'd better find her!

That was quite a thought.

It would have been nice if you'd thought

it a couple of hours ago. Let's go!

Miss Froy!

Miss Froy?

- Miss Froy!

- (Shuffling)

Miss Froy... Miss Froy?

Nice, nice. You go back to sleep now,

that's a nice cow.

Well, I guess that's about that.

We've looked everywhere.

Look!

They're Miss Froy's and they're broken.

Must have been a struggle.

That poor woman.

The eyeglasses. They are probably

of the Baroness. I will take them, bitte.

Bitte, bitte, schmitter.

- That's German, isn't it?

- You got the wrong number.

Let go. You just let...

Bop him!

I hit him with my best shot

and he doesn't even blink.

In the movies a shot like that...

Drop him! Give him a Dutch rub!

You get your fist and you rub it

on his head as hard as you can!

I learnt it at boarding school.

(Man screams)

(Amanda shrieking)

The Indian burn! The Indian burn!

You take a person's wrist like this

and you twist as hard as you can and...

it's supposed to paralyse them.

(Yells)

You're better at this. You fight him and

I'll jump up and down and give advice.

That was really very well done!

Thank you very much.

But where would you have been without

the Dutch rub and the Indian burn?

That's true.

- You know something?

- What?

You have very nice legs.

I beg your pardon?

I was just remarking.

You have very nice legs.

In what sense?

In the sense of them

being well formed, shapely.

- Shapely?

- I hadn't noticed because of the dress.

So there really is a Miss Froy, eh?

That nice man out there

did try to kill you.

So it would seem. So it would seem.

Those nice people in the compartment

did try to shove me out the window.

But why are they doing it?

What do they want?

How would I know what they want?

Love, money, power, immortality?

- Would you please be serious?

- Serious?

Look at my hands. They're shaking.

I'm literally trembling with fright.

OK. Time to start choosing up sides.

If there is a conspiracy,

we'd better figure out who's in on it.

As far as I know the whole train's in on it,

except you and Dr Hartz.

Dr Hartz. Right...

Come on.

Let's start collecting our forces.

Dr Hartz is lucky

I didn't go to his hospital.

I wouldn't have paid him and if he'd sent

the bill to Kelly, tough. He hasn't a dime.

Well, he's not there.

I wonder if we should...

Wait a minute. I got a wild idea.

What if that patient in there is Miss Froy?

The patient didn't come on the train

until after she disappeared, dummy.

No, wait, I refuse to be demoted

back to dummy.

- Did you notice anything about the nun?

- No.

I don't think she's a real nun at all.

They're not supposed

to wear high heels, are they?

High heels?

High heels. You're right.

- Actually, she's got great legs.

- Legs again. You have a fetish.

Try to think carefully. Did you actually

see Mrs Kummer get on the train?

- No.

- OK. Suppose, just suppose,

they decoyed Miss Froy

to the baggage car

and at the first stop the patient came on

the train and the patient is Mrs Kummer.

Then Mrs Kummer becomes Miss Froy

and Miss Froy becomes

that thing in there.

Why would they wanna kidnap

a sweet, harmless English nanny?

Maybe she's not.

This is Nazi Germany, war's gonna

break out in about 20 minutes.

Maybe she's a sweet, harmless,

English spy.

A spy?

How exciting.

Excuse me. Do you speak English?

May we take a look at your patient?

We think that she is an Englishwoman.

Schwester, Sister, sit down, relax.

Just relax. Just...

- Listen, Doc...

- Oh, hello.

We now have absolute proof

that Miss Froy's on this train.

Miss Froy?

Oh, the vanishing English lady.

Doctor, you won't believe this

but nutstuff here is right.

And Albert Einstein here thinks

that your patient is our Miss Froy.

My children, what are you trying

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