The Lady Vanishes Page #4

- With a feather.

- I saw her with you in our compartment.

- You husband said he hadn't seen her.

He didn't notice but after you'd gone

I remembered quite clearly.

- You actually did see her?

- Yes.

Would you be willing

to make a statement?

- Yes.

- See, dummy? I was right!

Now let's find that Nazi creep and

tell him his train's gotta be searched!

(Horn)

War der Zug pnktlich?

And I told them that we saw that lady

who stumbled into our carriage.

Have you taken leave of your senses?

Oh, darling, look.

If there's a scandal, there's a scandal.

We'll weather it together.

And then, after the divorces...

Divorce?!

You've missed the point.

If there is a scandal,

the Major will divorce you,

I've no doubt about that.

But Iris will never divorce me.

She wouldn't want it.

I wouldn't want it.

When two considerable fortunes

are intertwined,

marriage becomes a very sacred thing.

Very, very sacred.

No, you stick to the Major.

He's a poor thing but he's all you've got.

And frankly without him,

life could be very difficult for you.

- Niemand verschwindet...

- Why doesn't he talk in English?

He's saying it's impossible for a lady

to vanish from a moving train.

I don't care. I want this train searched.

- Hello.

- Ich hab Sie berall gesucht.

- What is she saying?

- They've been looking all over for you,

that your friend has come back.

Come back? Miss Froy's come back?

Why would she lie about that?

Gesundheit.

Danke schn.

- See? Miss Froy didn't vanish.

- Maybe she tried to escape.

- From what?

- From you.

- Why me?

- The madcap heiress can be a pain!

There she is!

Think she'd mind if I ask her

for her autograph?

This isn't Miss Froy.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I know this sounds idiotic

but are you Miss Froy?

Miss Froy? Nein. I'm Frau Kummer.

I've never seen this woman before

in my life.

I assisted you when you were unwell

then when you slept

I went to another car.

When Mrs Kelly awakened,

she kept asking for some English lady.

I did not connect her

with my friend Frau Kummer.

These are green tweeds, are they not?

Yes.

And that is a hat with a feather

and a pin that's like a horseshoe?

Everything's the same. But it isn't her.

The poor child is surely distrait.

Perhaps your doctor friend

could give her a sedative?

I am not distrait

and I do not need a sedative.

I can work this out.

There's an Englishwoman

who claims to have seen you earlier.

As a great favour, madame, could you

come with us just for a minute?

I will come.

Hello. Please forgive me

for bothering you but I'd like to ask...

Hello! I'm sorry

but could you tell us, please,

is this the woman you saw,

who fell into the compartment?

She's not even a little bit like her, is she?

Yes, this is the woman.

Are you absolutely sure?

Yes. Perfectly.

She isn't. She isn't!

Will that be all?

Yes. Thank you very much

and please forgive us for troubling you.

Er, may I?

She's lying. They're all lying.

But why?

Why? Why?

You know, I've been hit

over the head myself.

In Spain, I got too close to a grenade

and when I woke up,

Ernest Hemingway and I were in a poker

game with Karl Marx and Jean Harlow.

Stop treating me like a child! If you really

wanted to help you'd buy me a drink.

- Don't you think...

- No. And I don't need another nanny.

Really? Then why

did you dream one up?

- I didn't!

- That's what you did.

Suddenly your friends aren't there.

You're in a country

where you don't speak the language.

You're a little lonely, a little scared.

So you go to sleep in the compartment

and you dream of a nice British nanny

who's going to take care of you.

Now I'd like...

a nice double whisky

with another double whisky as a chaser.

- Waiter!

- Coming, sir.

- Four double whiskies, please.

- The same for me, please.

Very good, madam.

What did you mean, scared?

- Scared?

- Before, you said I was scared.

Well, I just thought

under all that madcap heiress stuff.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I am.

Not scared exactly.

But a little nervous. I'm 30 soon.

I'll have to get married and settle down.

You're getting married on Friday.

I am but that's just Rupert.

You know Rupert.

- I don't.

- You're not missing a thing.

- Why marry him?

- I always marry for money.

Are you telling me that you married all

those assorted people just for money?

- Mm-hm.

- How could you?

Where there's a will, there's a way.

In this case,

the will was my grandfather's.

When I got kicked out of Brearley

for smoking

and writing obscenities

on the blackboard...

I didn't know any obscenities

to write then.

All I could think of was,

"Miss Farnham was a big cheese."

"Miss Farnham IS a big cheese."

To Miss Farnham.

Grandfather started to get nervous.

To encourage me to settle down

he changed his will so I that I'd get

a million dollars when I got married.

Mummy and Daddy were divorced and

they had me on this miniscule allowance.

So when I met Madvani one night I said,

"Let's get married and split the million".

This is the worst, most heartbreaking

story I have ever heard in my life.

Actually, it turned out very nicely.

Better for me then Madvani. He had

to split his half with his boyfriend.

- With his boyfriend?

- Mm. The marriage was annulled.

But the great thing was, you see,

Grandfather never said

I could only get married once.

Cool million every time.

So you never actually had any...

(Clears throat) ..relations with Madvani?

Relations? He wouldn't let me pick

the fabric for the maid's room!

- What about von Hoffstetter?

- I was wiser by then.

In many ways quite mature.

Hoffy only got 100,000.

- You mean you never...

- Have you ever seen von Hoffstetter?

No. What about Kelly?

He was Daddy's chauffeur.

He was a little different.

In what way was he different?

I don't know.

I said to myself, "Suds, it's ridiculous

"to have been married three times

and still be a..."

So you gave yourself to him.

Body and soul. I loved every minute of it.

All three of 'em.

But he already had a wife

in Perth Amboy, New Jersey.

- Really?

- He's just lucky he didn't go to jail.

Apparently they make

a fuss about bigamy,

especially in places like

Perth Amboy, New Jersey.

In the end he was really very sweet.

Wouldn't take a cent.

Lovely. And Rupert on Friday.

How much is his payoff?

Well, Rupert held out for fifty-fifty.

But he's English and poor

and I keep the title even after the divorce,

so I said, "What the hell,

it's only money."

What the hell, it's only money.

My God, look. There it is.

What?

There, on the window.

- I don't see anything.

- There! Miss Froy!

Froy, on the window. Miss Froy!

It's gone.

- But you must have seen it!

- Seen what?

She wrote her name on the window

after giving the waiter her tea.

You think I'd dream something like that?!

I knew it was a bad idea to order alcohol

on top of your concussion. Just...

I won't "just".

Miss Froy is still on this train.

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