The Landlord Page #2

BEEN HERE THIS MORNING

FOR THE TENANTS:

ASSOCIATION:

RENT STRIKE.

WHAT RENT STRIKE?

DON'T WORRY.

IT WON'T HAPPEN.

WAIT. ARE YOU SURE?

HOW THEY GONNA GE A RENT STRIKE?

AIN'T NOBODY PAID REN LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER.

OF COURSE, UM...

THERE COULD BE:

A BACK RENT STRIKE.

BUT YOU WOULDN' GET THAT, EITHER.

THAT WOULD GO:

TO MR. LIPSCHULTZ.

THAT'S THE OLD LANDLORD.

NOBODY EVER PAID HIM

ANY RENT?

POOR SOUL.

LORD KNOWS:

WHO'LL GET I NOW THAT HE'S

PASSED AWAY.

HE PASSED AWAY?

RAT.

BIG AS A DOG.

CHASED HIM:

IN THE BROOM CLOSET.

NOBODY EVER GO IN

THE BROOM CLOSET.

I THINK:

HE WAS IN THERE:

ABOUT THREE MONTHS.

HOW DO YOU OFAYS

FIND YOUR WAY INTO

OWNING THESE RAT TRAPS?

WHAT DO YOU DO,

GIVE THEM AS:

BAR MITZVAH PRESENTS?

GOTTA HAVE MORE:

GUN CONTROL.

YOU WAN SOME MORE EGGS?

MARGE, WOULD YOU MIND

PUTTING THAT GUN AWAY?

DON'T WORRY.

YOU CAME MY WAY:

SO I COULD PROTECT YOU,

THOUGH I KNOW:

YOU'LL ONLY REPAY ME

WITH SUFFERING.

DON'T SAY THAT.

HEY, MARGE!

MARGE, HAVE YOU

SEEN SOME WHITE MAN

PROWLING AROUND HERE--

YOU.

IT WAS YOU.

IT WAS ME?

DON'T DENY IT,

DEGENERATE.

YOU GAVE MY LITTLE

WALTER GEE MONEY.

NOW HE'S SICK

ON CIGARETTES.

I FOUND HIM SICK

DOWN IN THE CELLAR

CHAIN-SMOKING,

SO I KNOW:

SOME CHILD MOLESTER

GAVE HIM MONEY.

WHY DO YOU:

LET HIM SMOKE?

YOU MUST KNOW:

HE COULD GET CANCER.

I'M BUSY FRYING HAIR

ALL DAY.

I CAN'T WATCH

EVERYTHING HE DOES.

WHAT? YOU'RE FRYING HAIR

IN THIS BUILDING?

I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE

FOR FRYING HAIR.

HE AIN'T GOT NO LICENSE

FOR FRYING HAIR.

FIND YOUR OWN NEIGHBORHOOD

AND DO HAIR...QUEENIE.

I'M NO A HAIRDRESSER.

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

FANNY.

HE'S THE NEW LANDLORD.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THE NEW LANDLORD.

THE NEW LANDLORD.

OH, LORD, AIN' THIS A SHAME?

MATTER OF FACT,

I'M GLAD WE MET.

YOUR NAME IS, UH...

MRS. COPEE.

RIGHT.

MY HUSBAND'S BEEN ILL.

MRS. COPEE...

HE HAS THIS:

NERVOUS CONDITION.

HE HAS HEADACHES, TOO.

THE DOCTOR SAID:

HE SHOULD HAVE:

HIS OWN ROOM.

FOUR MONTHS' BACK RENT.

IS THAT POSSIBLE?

OH, ANYTHING'S

POSSIBLE, SUGAR.

ANYWAY, WE TOOK HIM

TO THE WILLS EYE HOSPITAL

BECAUSE HE'S GO THIS TWITCH,

BUT IT WASN'T HIS EYES.

WHAT WAS IT?

IT WAS HIS NERVES.

THAT'S, UH...

THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE,

MRS. COPEE.

IT IS?

LOOK, WHY DON'T WE

GO DOWN TO MY PLACE

SO WE CAN DISCUSS THIS

AT LENGTH?

IF YOU WISH.

PROMISE ME YOU WON' SMOKE ANYMORE.

I PROMISE.

WHAT'S THAT?

UH, BYE.

I THINK, UH...

WALTER GEE!

WALTER GEE,

YOU COME:

BACK HERE.

HEY, DUBOISE,

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

HELLO, FANNY.

COPEE IN TROUBLE

WITH THE PIGS AGAIN?

THIS AIN'T NO PIG

THIS TIME, SUGAR.

THIS IS THE NEW:

LANDLORD.

LANDLORD...

PROFESSOR DUBOISE.

PROFESSOR DUBOISE,

HOW DO YOU DO?

I SWEAR, HE THINKS

THE LORD PU WHITE PEOPLE

ON THIS EARTH:

AS A PUNISHMENT.

OF COURSE,

I DON'T HOLD

WITH NO SACRILEGIOUS

TALK LIKE THAT.

MM-HMM.

WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOME

AIR CONDITIONING IN HERE?

OH, UH...

YOU HAVE SOME:

COMPLAINTS,

MRS. COPEE?

YOU'RE SERIOUS?

UH...YEAH.

I SURE DO.

SIT.

I'LL JUST, UH...

AHEM.

NOW--

UH...WHA SPECIFIC COMPLAINTS

DO YOU HAVE, MRS. COPEE?

WELL, WE NEED A NEW

PLASTERING JOB,

A NEW PAINT JOB.

THE OVEN DOOR'S BROKE.

THE ROOF LEAKS,

THE TOILE RUNS ALL DAY,

AND YOU AWFUL CUTE

TO BE A LANDLORD.

YOU SAID THE, UH...

THE ROOF, UH... RUNS,

AND THE TOILET...

TOILET LEAKS.

MMM.

IF YOU DIDN' SWEAT SO MUCH,

NOBODY'D TAKE YOU

FOR A LANDLORD.

YOU COULD PASS:

FOR A HUMAN BEING.

THAT'S NOT A VERY NICE

THING TO SAY, MRS. COPEE,

BECAUSE I INTEND TO BE

A GOOD LANDLORD:

AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE.

WHAT YOU MEAN,

AS LONG AS I'M HERE?

[MAN'S VOICE]

WHO'S THAT YOU GO THERE WITH YOU?

OH, IT'S

THE NEW LANDLORD.

THAT'S MY HUSBAND.

AH.

NOW, UH...

ABOUT THE RENT,

MRS. COPEE,

ARE YOU--

LANDLORD...

THESE ARROWS:

HAVE BEEN DIPPED

IN FANNY'S

BARBECUE SAUCE:

SO AS TO MAKE:

DEATH SLOW...

AND MORE AGONIZING

TO ITS UNFORTUNATE VICTIM.

LANDLORD,

YOU HAVE UNTIL:

THE COUNT OF THREE

TO VACATE:

THESE PREMISES.

1...

2...

3!

[LAUGHING]

YOU SON OF A B*TCH.

YOU MAKE ONE MORE CRACK

ABOUT MY SPARERIBS,

AND I'LL BUST YOUR HEAD.

OH, YOU SHUT UP.

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU

ABOUT PUTTING YOUR DRUM

IN THE LIVING ROOM.

[FUNK MUSIC PLAYING]

OH, MOTHER...

I'M SORRY.

IT'S MY ONLY CHANCE.

I GOT ITALIAN CLASS

AFTER THIS.

THEN YOUR FATHER...

OH, GOD.

KEEP TALKING.

I HEAR YOU.

FROM THE TOP.

1...2...

ABOUT MY HOUSE, MOTHER.

WHAT HOUSE, DEAR?

I'M IN LOVE

WITH THIS HOUSE.

1, 2...

3, 4, 5, 6--

DON'T DO THAT, DEAR.

YOU'RE THROWING ME OFF.

I'M JUST TRYING

TO HELP YOU.

I'VE INVESTED

IN REAL ESTATE.

YOU HAVE INVESTED

IN REAL ESTATE?

OSCAR.

OSCAR.

YES. YES.

YES, JOYCE.

OSCAR.

DARLING, LISTEN,

WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?

OSCAR, I PROMISE YOU,

WE'LL DANCE OUR BRAINS OU TOMORROW AT 10:00.

WITHOUT INTERRUPTION.

PRACTICE PUSHING.

PUSHING.

I WILL, CIAO.

CIAO, DARLING.

UH-HUH.

INSUFFERABLE:

DANCE GODDESS.

HE THINKS THE SUN RISES

AND SETS ON RHYTHM.

"RHYTHM, RHYTHM."

ALL RIGHT, DEAR.

QUICKLY.

WHAT ARE YOU:

TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT INVESTMENT?

POUR ME SOME OF THAT.

WHAT IS THAT, BRANDY?

OH.

GOD.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU LOOKED LIKE:

LIKE YOUR FATHER

WHEN HE WAS LITTLE.

AW, JOYCE,

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

YOU'RE DRUNK

AND UPSET.

WHY?

THIS HOUSE, THIS REAL ESTATE,

IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

IT'S THE MOST IMPORTAN THING I'VE EVER DONE.

I'M A CANCERIAN--

HOME'S VERY IMPORTANT.

YOU'RE A LEO.

NO, I'M A CANCER.

WHEN WERE YOU BORN?

THE 15th OF JULY.

SON OF A B*TCH.

WHEN WAS I BORN?

MOTHER!

FOUL-MOUTH.

LITTLE FOUL-MOUTH.

MOTHER, DON'T DO THAT.

YOU HAVE 15 MINUTES.

THEN IT'S

MY ITALIAN CLASS,

WHICH I'M NO GIVING UP

TO ARGUE WITH YOU

ABOUT DATES.

YOU SEE THAT,

MY DARLING PUSSYCAT?

WHAT YOU DID IS BAD.

THERE'S AN IRON CURTAIN

IN THIS HOUSE, MOTHER.

WILL YOU TELL ME WHA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKING ABOUT DOING

WHAT I WANT TO DO.

DO IT--OUT THERE

IN THE GUEST HOUSE.

I CAN'T DO I OUT IN THE GUEST HOUSE.

THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME

WHEN I BARE MY GUTS,

YOU THINK:

I'M OFF MY ROCKER.

I DON'T THINK

ANY SUCH MODERN THING.

WHY DON'T YOU

TAKE UP THE BANJO,

WRITE FOLK SONGS--

SOMETHING YOU CAN DO

IN YOUR ROOM?

GET A BATH.

GET YOURSELF:

TOGETHER.

AND WASH EVERYWHERE.

OH, YOUR SISTER'S INVITED

PETER COOTES FOR DINNER.

YOUR BROTHER AND HIS WIFE--

WHAT'S HER NAME?

THEY'RE COMING IN

FROM WESTPORT.

PETER WHO?

PETER COOTES.

YOU KNOW PETER COOTES.

OH.

THE PETER COOTES.

OF COURSE.

DON'T GET SMART.

GET DRESSED, HUH?

AND COMB YOUR HAIR.

ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

BIRD!

[GUNSHOTS]

I JUST WAN TO SAY, ELGAR,

THAT I'M PROUD OF YOU.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE MY BROTHER

AND NOT SOMEBODY ELSE'S.

WELL, IT'S A GREAT HOUSE.

I THINK SOMEBODY'S

GOT TO BEGIN:

TO INTEGRATE.

I CAN'T. I DON'T HAVE

THE STOMACH FOR IT.

BUT TO THINK...

THAT I HAVE A REALLY

FORWARD-LOOKING,

DEVIL-MAY-CARE

REVOLUTIONARY:

FOR MY BROTHER:

MAKES ME FEEL RIGH IN THE SWING OF THINGS.

I JUST HOPE:

YOU DON'T GET SHOT.

SUSAN, GOD.

HAVE YOUR PEOPLE

PLANNED ANY RALLIES

OR MARCHES:

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