The Last Dragon Page #3

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and the prize ain't no date.

- A night with Laura Charles is an event.

- Excuse me.

Mama-san, Papa-san...

...Richie-san, Lotus Blossom-san.

Now isn't that nice, Sophia?

Pretty chopsticks, Natasha.

Thank you.

I wish you all would decide on one name

for this poor child.

No wonder she's so confused.

Bless this food.

It is to build thy body temple.

Spiritualize it.

I'm telling you, Pop, the boy is off it.

Stupid old clothes,

won't mess with no babes.

People talk, you know.

Richard, leave your brother alone.

I can't help it if he's weird.

You're weird, man, really weird.

Richie, when I first started my business,

people said I was weird.

A black man with a pizza shop.

Now there isn't a hungry soul in this town

that doesn't know my slogan:

"Just direct-a-yo feets-a to Daddy Green's...

"Pizza."

Watch yourself, son.

My personal choices

for the video hotpix of the week...

That's my babe, Pop!

That's my date for tonight!

Because it's alive and very, very exciting.

- That is her!

- You telling me?

You better believe that's her!

That's Laura Charles!

So you remember now,

every weekday night at 8:00.

Laura Charles!

- I would like to see her!

- Well, who wouldn't, fool?

"I would like to see her."

No way the Queen is gonna be looking at

no walkin' fortune cookie!

"I would like to see her."

- Well, I'll see her today, at rehearsal.

- You know where she is?

- I know where she's gonna be.

- You must take me to see her!

I ain't taking you nowhere!

You might embarrass me.

You're too weird.

You do not understand.

She may have something I need.

I knew it would happen sooner or later.

You stood on your head so long,

you broke it.

Look, let me break it down for you.

You seem to be wanting to broaden,

get it, your horizons.

You let a lot of good years roll by

without even testing the old equipment.

Now, even you being a disgrace and all,

I'd be less than a man if I didn't warn you...

...that there's an art to making love

and you don't even have a paintbrush.

You gotta know the moves, baby.

You know, the moves.

Richie, I am not concerned with moves.

My concern is something else.

Else? What else is there?

Please, I must see her.

I don't see why I'm getting so upset.

Go on, go after a goddess if you want to,

but let me tell you something.

The worst thing that can happen to you

is that she says "yes."

'Cause ain't no woman like that

going to hold still while you figure it out.

Not only do you not know

when to do something...

...you wouldn't know where to put it

if you did!

And, Leroy...

...it can really hurt if you don't know

what you're doing.

Richie, I must go to this dance contest!

I ain't taking you nowhere and that's final!

Please!

Kiss my hand.

Richie, please.

Maybe I'll take you...

...if you carry me all the way

on your back and rap.

- Rap? Me?

- Yeah!

"Smell like"

I think I have it.

"Smell like"

I think I have it.

"What it is, what it look like, do it

"Yeah, baby

"Do it, do it. What it, what it be like"

Okay! That's it! That's it!

That is it, stop!

Stop right here.

It's just pitiful.

- Well, give me one more chance!

- No. It is pitiful.

Put me down.

Put me down!

It's pitiful.

Richie, where are you going?

Are you not going to buy tickets?

Of course, I'm gonna buy a ticket!

I never buy tickets,

you shrimp-fried-rice head, you.

Man, if anyone asks you,

you ain't my brother, okay?

What?

You ain't my brother, that's all!

Now, come on!

Come on, move it!

See man, messing around with you,

now my boys don't even know I'm here.

You're not trying to enter

without paying, are you?

Chill out, chopsticks. Let me handle this.

There must be another door.

I'll be back.

Just stay right here and don't move.

- And if anyone asks, remember...

- I know, I ain't your brother.

Why wasn't this sound check done sooner?

I don't know. I only do what I'm told.

You know, we try for perfection.

Help!

Help!

"I found a picture

"I found a picture

"Inside your suitcase

"I don't know what it means

"I didn't recognize her face

"Mail order catalogues

"Underneath your mattress

"Polaroids do suggest

"She is not an actress

"Why is this friendly group

all jumping through a hoop?

- "Dirty books

- I found 'em, I found 'em

"Now that I have seen it all

"You want me to participate

"You dress me up in peek-a-boos

"Body oil and roller skates

- "Dirty books

- I found 'em, I found 'em

"And to think I found them in your suitcase

"I found 'em, I found 'em"

Don't you love it?

Look, doll, did I do you a favor

or did I do you a favor?

So you're going to play my video?

No!

Maybe you didn't hear it right...

...so I'm going to ask you one more time.

Are you going to put my video

on your show or aren't you?

I'm going to tell you one more time.

The answer is "no."

It's not that I don't like it.

- It's just that it's not the right...

- Right!

Right time of the night to look at it.

That's what she was going to say,

wasn't it, honey?

Eddie, she's just tired.

Tired?

She's going to be dead tired

if she's not careful.

Okay, I tried to be a gentleman about this!

I was going to take you out

to a fancy restaurant.

Let you order la carte!

All I wanted you to do was to put my video

on your show, and now you say "no."

Okay, that's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Rock, let's go.

Eddie, you're not gonna do

what I think you are?

Who's going to stop me?

Who is this guy? We didn't order out.

Get him the hell out of here!

Get him outta here now!

Who is this guy? Get in there!

Break his face, will you?

What are you guys waiting for? Get going!

Are you on vacation? Move it!

Get in there!

Get going!

I'm sorry, Miss...

Angela. Angela Viracco.

Bums!

I do not think Miss Charles

enjoys your company.

It would be best that you leave her alone!

I don't know who you are, pal,

but you're in a lot of trouble!

Hothead needs cool water.

No, no, no!

No, not the tank!

No!

Eddie!

Come, you will be safe now.

- Eddie, are you all right?

- Get away from me, you dumb broad!

But Eddie, you're all wet!

Honey!

Look at this, it's all wet. You're all wet.

Rock, get this damn thing out of here.

That son of a b*tch is history.

God, I can't believe this!

This is enough to drive you crazy.

You do this kind of thing everyday?

You are too much!

Who are you?

I am Leroy.

Leroy Green.

It's nice to meet you.

I need a drink.

Why don't you come inside?

Miss Charles, there is something

you may be able to help me with.

You can call me Laura.

Laura, the other night

I lost a medallion and...

That thing that looks like a belt buckle?

Belt buckle?

Is it gold?

You have it?

Yeah, I got it.

Why don't you sit down?

I'll go get it for you.

That is wonderful!

Just promise that you won't vanish...

...as soon as I give it back to you.

This is so you'll never lose it again.

I am deeply in your debt.

It is very valuable to me.

I know what it's like

to lose precious things...

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