The Last Dragon Page #5

---

would like to trade places with you.

If you're unhappy with all of this...

...why don't you just walk out?

Go have a nice, normal, boring life.

To tell you the truth, Eddie,

it couldn't be anymore boring...

...than hanging around

with this gook in my hair...

...while you guys go play cops and robbers.

Where are you gonna go, Angie?

Without me, you're nothing!

Without that outfit, you're just another

no-talent, dental school dropout...

...from Kew Gardens gettin' by on her tits!

In the end, Eddie, you know what?

You're nothing but a misguided,

midget a**hole...

...with dreams of ruling the world!

Yeah, also from Kew Gardens.

And also getting by on my tits.

Where do you think you're going?

To elocution class!

What for?

Did you see that?

Sho'nuff is the master!

- Number one!

- Can I pick 'em or what?

Shut up!

- Am I the meanest?

- Sho'nuff!

- Am I the prettiest?

- Sho'nuff!

Am I the baddest mo-fo

lowdown around this town?

Sho'nuff!

I can't hear you!

Sho'nuff!

Yeah!

Keep your money.

You just get that sucker

to the designated place...

...at the designated time...

...and I will gladly designate his ass...

...for dismemberment!

Yeah! Hey! Well, whatever!

Anyway you want to do it.

It'll certainly be my pleasure, Mr. Nuff.

Put it away. Come on.

- Looking for me?

- Yes.

I mean...

I thought I wasn't exactly

on your favorite persons' list.

That is why I came by,

to apologize for the way I spoke.

I did not mean it towards you.

Great.

Then you'll be my bodyguard?

I'd love to, but I must complete

a mission first.

A mission?

You see, I am in search of the final level

where the spirit takes over...

...from the mind

and guides the body without thought.

Okay. Listen, you stay right here, okay?

Don't move. I'll be back in five minutes.

Don't disappear, okay? I'll be right back.

A great fighter, for instance...

...might be able to get just his hands

to fill with such power...

...that they would get the glow, which

could be deadly if it fell into evil hands.

Yet, if these hands belonged to a master...

Like Bruce Lee.

Yes, exactly!

Someone who has reached the final level

and could make his whole body glow...

...the beauty he would be able to create

would be without bounds.

Imagine the wonder someone like this

can bring to the world!

That's a beautiful dream, Leroy.

Now I know you're gonna love

what I've got to show you at the studio.

What's wrong?

Calling Leroy.

I am sorry, but it's just...

What? Tell me. Come on.

You see, I have this friend.

- Yeah?

- He is very shy.

He came to me for advice. And I...

...well...

It is something I thought

you can help me with, him with.

Okay, I'll try.

Tell me about it. What is it?

Moves.

Moves?

You see...

...my friend, he has never been...

He likes this girl.

- Yeah?

- He has never been with a woman before.

He does not even have a paintbrush.

Paintbrush?

He cannot even draw.

- Draw? What are you talking about?

- You know.

The art of making love.

- Moves.

- Of course.

- I would love to show you some moves.

- No!

It's not for me. I said it was for my friend.

He is the one.

Okay, anything you say.

Is it not kind of hot in here, Miss Charles?

I'm telling you, I don't need a contest...

...to win this date 'cause I got juice!

Why don't you just give up?

Your delusions of grandeur about love

with her is nothin' but a wet dream.

Don't be no fool, Jack.

The Baron Von Rick's got

a more direct route to the target.

Watch out the target

don't shoot you down.

- Why don't you write her a letter?

- Or make an obscene phone call?

'Cause that's as close as you're gonna get.

You two play a game if you want to.

I'm gonna sit right here

and wait for her to show up.

And the rap I'm gonna lay on her...

...is gonna make Romeo seem tongue-tied.

Make her melt like hot butter

all over my body!

Go, Rick!

And this time ain't nothin' gonna stand

between me and my destiny...

...with the sweet lips of Lady Laura!

Wow! This place is great!

Fists of Fury!

That's it, man. Enough is enough.

- I'm gonna go.

- Wait a minute!

Something's going on in here.

You think it's her?

There's only one way to find out.

Come on!

What? Where are we going?

Sh*t!

- Forget it, man.

- Wait up, man!

This is great!

Man, I ought to slap that sucker silly

with a suit for alienation of affections!

If it wasn't for me,

he wouldn't even know where she was!

Chocolate-covered yellow peril!

Chill out, man!

Wait for me, will you?

Come on, man, wait for me!

That sucker better start sleeping

with his inscrutable eyes open...

...'cause there's gonna be a serious case

of chopsockie justice coming his way!

Maybe you just don't understand him.

I mean, if the lady likes him,

he must be doing something right.

Leroy? He wouldn't even know

what to do with that!

Looked like he was doing all right to me.

What's that?

Chinese Connection.

He has disguised himself in order to...

...get into the villains' lair!

Why did I not think of that before?

I must go.

Thanks a lot, Bruce!

- Where are you going?

- Back to claim what's mine!

Leroy?

Ran out on you, huh?

Don't cover up for that Ping-Pong playing...

...chow mein for brains, kung fu head!

What are you doing up there?

You come down here

before you hurt yourself!

Now!

I don't understand what you see in him!

Leroy?

We meet again, Miss Charles.

Let me go!

Get your hands off my woman!

I said get your hands off my woman!

Let me go, you big baboon!

All right!

Little Joe, man! You pay up, bro!

This is craps, man! You pay me!

You blind, man?

This book says "Little Joe"!

- You pay up, blood!

- You can't even read the book, blood!

Hey, my man.

What it look like?

Hey, my man, what it look like?

Hey, my man, what it look like?

Hey, my man.

- What it look like?

- What you want?

I am the soul brother like no other...

...to deliver this pizza with bean sprouts.

Pizza with bean sprouts?

Well, yeah, we make anything, dig?

"Just direct-a-yo feets-a

to Daddy Green's pizza."

Now if you bloods would show me

where I can find the Master...

You sure the Master ordered this pizza?

The man himself.

You're going to release his beast

if it gets cold out here.

I don't know what you're up to,

but I'm gonna rip your face off.

No, wait! It's okay.

You the same fool

that came dressed as a coolie?

No, we all just look alike.

My man. Brother.

Yo, bro!

My man, the Master, he split, you know.

- What?

- He's not here.

So why don't you chill out with us?

Smoke a little herb. Sip a little wine.

No, I had too much already.

Soul brother!

- Soul brother!

- All right!

You know how to shoot craps?

- Craps?

- Craps!

Craps!

Yeah, craps.

All right!

Right on!

Mr. Leroy?

Are you in here?

Sorry, miss, I didn't mean

to scare you that bad.

That's all right.

Is a Mr. Leroy here?

No, he's not here, but...

...how about something

in a medium-sized Oriental?

No, thanks.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes