The Last Laugh Page #7

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who are told theyre

going to go to hell

if they have sex

before marriage

end up being slutty

because its all

pent up, f***ed up sh*t.

MUSIC:

Miss Hitler:

theyre doing a racist

beauty pageant.

There was a list

of what you need

to qualify to

run for Miss Hitler.

Be polite to your

competitors,

and you must hate Jews.

But, you know, Im

always pleased

to see things

like that,

and like to point

to them because

I mean, it would be better

if it didnt exist, but

the fact that it does,

its always nice that its

more than just a

gas in the air,

you know?

Its something you can

point to and see.

I think its more effective

when people can go,

Oh my god, thats awful,

and hilarious.

Its awful hilarious.

Has anybody read that Nazis are

going to March in New Jersey,

you know?

I read this in the newspaper.

We should get down there,

get some guys

together, you know,

get some bricks

and baseball bats

and really explain

things to them.

There was this devastating

satirical piece on that

on the op-ed page of Times.

It is devastating.

Well, a satirical piece in

the Times is one thing,

but bricks and baseball bats

really gets right to the point.

Oh, but really biting satire

is always better

than physical force.

No, no, physical force is

always better with Nazis.

Its hard to satirize a

guy with shiny boots.

DRUM:

PEOPLE SHOUTING:

Goodbye Jews! Goodbye Jews!

Goodbye Jews!

I know how movies are made, so I

know somewhere there is a tape

of like fifty little girls

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

trying really hard,

AUDIENCE LAUGHINg

trying to get the

goodbye Jews part.

Hi my name is Anne Marie

and Im with William Morris,

Goodbye Jews,

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

Goodbye Jews.

OK, next.

And then comes the

girl whos amazing,

and her mother has

prepared her for months,

she knows how to

walk in the room:

Hi my name is Louise

and I am really

happy to meet you!

The sun will come

out, tomorrow!

Bet your

We just need the line,

actually.

Oh, Im sorry.

GOODBYE JEWS! GOODBYE JEWS!

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

I love when people say,

How could you make

jokes?

Dont you realize what a

ragic situation that is,

how horrible that is?

Arent

you aware that?

And I always go,

Uh, yes, I

am aware of that,

and thats where the

jokes stem from.

Are there things that

go over the line?

Yeah Im sure that there are.

You know, uhm,

But I dont know if my kids

will consider it over the line.

I have no line. I mean

I think its a case-bycase

basis.

My line is, really,

I think child molestation

as a comedian, thats my line.

Maybe its being a

parent, whatever it is,

theres just nothing

about child molestatio

n or rape that I find funny.

I just dont find it funny.

Somebody can

make it funny

Theres no worse life

available to a human

than being a caught

child molester.

And yet they still do it!

Which you can only

really surmise

that it must be really good.

I mean, from their

point of view.

AUDIENCE GROANS:

From theirnot oursbut

from their point of view,

it must be amazing

for them to risk

so much.

Oh, some people dont like

you to talk like that,

some people like to shut you

up for saying those things.

You know that, lots of people,

lots of groups in this country

want to tell you how to talk

want to tell you what you

cant talk about.

Or sometimes theyll say you

can talk about something

but you cant joke about it.

Say you cant joke about

something cause its not funny.

Comedians run into that

sh*t all the time.

I wrote a Seinfeld script

where Elaine buys a gun.

We cast it,

we started building the

sets,

and NBC said, You

cant make that show.

That was more

controversial to them

than the masturbation episode,

the idea that Elaine

would go and buy a gun

to protect herself at that time,

which was in the early 90s.

Ironically still extremely

relevant today,

you know.

And one of the reasons

its relevant,

one of the reasons

its still taboo,

is because it really

hasnt been dealt with,

it hasnt been

delved into.

I dont know, I think it

it really depends on how

horrific.

Like 9/11?

Not funny.

Is that you?

Its, uh,

its Eddie Silverman,

hes my, uh, brother-in-law.

He, uh,

he died on September

11th.

Oh my gosh.

Oh, Im so sorry.

Yeah, terrible.

He was in the building?

No, no, he was uptown

on 57th Street.

He got hit by a bike messenger.

You know, you had a desperate

feeling after 9/11 that

comedy was over.

No one in my generation

had experienced that.

And I even called my manager,

Bernie Brillstein at the time,

and hes a Hollywood legend,

and he was sort of

speechless, he didnt

know where to go.

And when the old people

dont know what to do

you start to get nervous.

There was a weird feeling

like, Ooh therell never

be comedy ever again.

Sounds crazy now, but

that was the feeling

9/12, 9/13, 9/14, 9/15.

Like:

gigs were cancelled

It was like being a

pilot after 9/11

in a way, where you were like,

Am I out of work? Are

we going to fly again?

Saturday Night Live cancelled

a showI wasnt with the show,

Im just a viewer at this point

and their first live show back

they had Giuliani on,

and I remember Lorne

looking at him,

and he says, Are we

allowed to be funny?

Why start now?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS:

Lornes asking that

was so in the moment.

Had enough time passed?

Live! From...

Clearly not enough

time had passed.

But the laugh that it

got was such a release.

It was cathartic and healing.

WATER RUNNING:

Bernard used to make the

morning coffee for me.

Ever since he died,

I sleep with the television on.

And I remember I woke up

early in the morning

I heard the commentator saying

a plane just hit

one of the towers.

I couldnt believe... I was

wide awake right away,

needless to say, and

I thought to myself,

How lucky for Bernard that

he doesnt hear these terrible

things that are happening

today in the world.

You know, I just came

back from Rwanda.

The stories I heard there

also, just unimaginable.

We think the Holocaust

was the worst thing

that ever

happened.

The fact is that,

you know, the Holocaust

lasted twelve years.

Within those twelve years,

six million Jews

were murdered

in the Holocaust.

In Rwanda,

within four months,

one million Tutsis were

murdered.

So, you know, if

you think about it

And this is after

the Holocaust,

when we keep saying

Never again?

So thats where

we are.

APPLAUSE:

Now we got the Freedom Tower

They should change the name

from the Freedom Tower

to the Never Going

In There Tower.

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

Because Im never

going in there.

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

In the same spot they

put another skyscraper?

Does this building duck?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS:

What were they thinking?

Whos the corporate

sponsor, Target?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS:

Subjects come up that are

seemingly inappropriate

for comedy,

and thats the place thats the

most interesting to explore.

If you can find humor

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