The Last Laugh Page #8

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in things that are absolutely

not funny

by most traditional standards,

you are mining material

thats kind of fresh.

What seems to be the problem?

Ive contracted AIDS.

How did you get that?

From an African prostitute.

Do you mind if I interject

for a second? Sorry.

I just think its

getting quite heavy,

this sketch, and I just

wonder if perhaps,

just for the sake of comedy,

from an African

prostitute, just.

Knock knock.

Hi, what seems to

be the problem?

As I said before, Ive

got full-blown AIDS.

Right.

You want to know how I got it?

Sure.

From a well-known

homosexual actor.

Wow.

Again, though, I just

think cancer, though,

and AIDS, and famine,

are just not really

subjects for comedy.

Well, why does he get

away with it then?

We dont know.

Thats to me the

definition of true taboo,

when there are

consequences as a result.

When people just laugh and

then go back to doing

what they were doing

thats not really taboo.

Thats socially acceptable...

controversial,

provocative perhaps,

but socially acceptable.

Back in the slave days,

I wouldve never been single

Im six feet tall and Im

strong, Colin, STRONG!

I mean, look at me,

Im a mandingo!

Master wouldve hooked me up

with the best brother

on the plantation.

And every nine months Id be in

the corner having a superbaby.

Every nine months!

Every nine months Id

just be in the corner

just popping them out.

Just:
Shaq!... Kobe!...

Its okay to say

these things on TV,

- LeBron!

- through the broadcast media

Theyre letting you say it.

If they really felt

it was dangerous,

if they really

felt it was taboo,

then you wouldnt

be able to say it.

The following piece

contains gratuitous use of

the N word.

And by N word,

I mean

N*gger.

Excuse me, we are looking

for Clayton Bigsby.

Look no further,

fella, you found him.

How could this have happened?

A black white

supremacist.

He was the only Negro

wed ever had around here,

so we figured wed

make it easier

by just telling

him he was white.

N*ggers, Jews, homosexuals,

Mexicans, Arabs,

and all kinds of

different Chinks stink!

All these things Ive

been talking about,

all the things that

Ive worked on,

were not truly transgressing.

As long as

the powers that

be let us do it,

it means we havent

transgressed.

Im glad you guys laughed at

that, that does not always work.

I mean, nothing works

100% of the time, right?

Except Mexicans, Ive

noticed

AUDIENCE BOOS:

Thats the one? Boo!

Right, Boo, Mexicans!

I hear you, you guys are

preaching to the choir.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS:

When they throw me in

jail for making Borat,

then you know weve dealt

with a taboo subject.

Here he is, a very

shocking comedian,

the most shocking

comedian of our time,

a young man who is

skyrocketing to fame:

Lenny Bruce!

By the way, are there any

n*ggers here tonight?

What did he say?

Are there any n*ggers

here tonight?

What, is he so desperate

for shock value?

Ah, I think I see one

n*gger couple back there

between those two n*ggers

and three kikes.

You have two

spics, one mick

three kikes, and one spunky,

funky honky.

The point

if President Kennedy got

on television

every day and said,

I would like to introduce all

the n*ggers in my cabinet.

And every day you heard,

N*gger, n*gger, n*gger,

n*gger, n*gger,

n*gger would lose its impact

and then it would never make

any four-year old n*gger cry

when he came home from school.

I couldnt get over what it was

to listen to Lenny Bruce.

You were hearing

ideas that you knew

were accurate.

He talked about Jesus,

talked about black people,

talked about gay people

when no one was doing it.

And in Chicago, Mayor Daley

very Catholic city

they threw him off the stage,

put him in jail.

This is the defendant

Lenny Bruce

charged in two separate counts,

giving an indecent performance

all performances were

obscene, indecent,

immoral and impure.

In the

latter two performances,

words such as ass,

balls, cocksucker, c*nt,

f***, motherf***er, piss,

screw, sh*t, and tits

were used about one hundred

times in utter obscenity.

Sometimes its important

to be ahead of society.

Just because its uncomfortable

doesnt mean that

its the wrong thing.

Sometimes it means its

exactly the right thing.

I think were at a point now

where

the bar is

really low.

And in a strange way, I

think its a good thing.

I think it helps us remember.

Lets see, did we look

at Ricky Gervais?

I watch hours on end

of the History Channel

and Discovery Channel now,

just back and forth,

like six hour stints of History

Channel, Discovery Channel,

back and forth. Ask me anything

about sharks and Nazis.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS:

The sharks an amazing creature.

It can taste and smell

the slightest human secretion

of blood and sweat,

one part in a billion,

from a mile away.

A shark wouldve found Anne

Frank like that

AUDIENCE LAUGHS:

I actually dont know

how this has happened,

but in the last five

years, seven years,

all of a

sudden,

its been open season

on Anne Frank.

She had time to write a

novel, for Christs sake.

It ends a bit abruptly,

and no sequel lazy.

EXPLOSION AND DOOR BREAKING

CRUNCHING OF A CRISP

Theres this book,

Hope:
A Tragedy about

Anne Frank.

She survived, shes pissed

off, she wrote this diary

that sold 32 million copies,

she didnt get a nickel,

and here she is:
shes

writing a novel and

shes not leaving

this guys attic

until shes done with the novel.

Took a while writing the scene

where he first meets Anne Frank.

How dare you say youre

Anne Frank, thats an insult

to the deaths of whoever,

of millions of people,

I had relatives who died there,

and she says,

First of all I, I didnt

die in Auschwitz, jackass,

I was in

Bergen-Belsen,

and by the way,

about all those family

members you lost?

and she pulls up her sleeve

and shows her numbers.

And the line was, Blow

me said Anne Frank.

I remember I stopped writing and

I immediately called

my wife and I said,

I think I know what

this book is about.

And then I immediately

called my shrink.

The outrage that some people had

because he made Anne Frank

this crusty old lady!

The book I wrote before this

was all about my

relationship with God,

and I got a certain

amount of sh*t for it.

But among Jewish people,

you can sh*t on God before

you can sh*t on Anne Frank.

Shh! Mr. Kitty you

have to be quiet

or else theyre gonna find you.

We have greed and guilt

and wars and genocides and

theres nothing we

can do about it.

Ive read Gods answers,

Ive read Spinozas

answerstheres no answer.

Theyre both dead.CHUCKLES

And so the only way

I can deal with

the reality of existence

is to laugh at it.

MUSIC:

HATCH CLOSING:

My mother would always

bring up the Holocaust.

For you I lived through Hitler,

you cant make the bed?

LAUGHTER:

I said, Ma, you ran

through the forest

after finding out

your whole family

got killed in gas chambers

Ma, how did you do it?

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