The Last Man Page #5

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will now be carried to the far winds.

Remember them.

No!

I just don't understand it.

It still looked

kind of cool, though.

Yeah.

( Sarah and Raphael

arguing in the distance )

Things...

seem to have changed.

I knew they would eventually.

Sarah needed

to wake up a little bit.

The female brush boar

circles the males,

until she finds her mate,

and then she never leaves.

It was inevitable.

- ( knocking )

- It's Raphael.

Can I come in?

- Yeah, sure.

- Am I interrupting anything?

No, just making

some crank calls.

What?

You old dog you!

I wanted to talk to you.

- Is that thing on?

- No. What's up?

I don't know.

Something's weird with Sarah.

- How do you mean?

- She's pissed about the balloon fiasco,

and 'cause of the day

at the stream.

But it's more than that.

It's her attitude...

Alan!

Wake up!

Wake up, God damn it!

- What? I'm awake.

- Raphael.

He was here.

He went out for a spin.

Did you say something to him?

Did you?!

- We talked a little. Why?

- What did you say?!

Nothing. What's wrong?

He's gone, Alan.

He's gone.

Jesus.

I figure she talks to you.

You might know

what's going on.

Well, no, she doesn't really talk

to me so much anymore,

since things changed.

Raphael:

I guess that's my fault.

I really am sorry

about that.

You didn't exactly have

a fair chance.

Alan:
Well, it's okay.

You know, I know

what you mean about Sarah.

And you shouldn't

take it the wrong way.

Sarah was raised

around a certain type of person,

and it's what she's used to.

A certain amount of education,

that sort of thing.

You know, when she thinks

someone's a little slow for her.

Raphael:
I'm not slow.

If that's what she thinks,

she can kiss my ass.

Who the f***

does she think she is?

I'm not some white-trash

motherf***er!

The funny thing is...

I actually love her.

She's right, I'm probably

not good enough for her...

but I really did love her.

Alan:

Things were rough for a while.

Raphael's disappearance

was a big blow to Sarah.

And I've got to say, I feel

pretty crappy about the whole thing.

But he wasn't exactly

Mother Teresa,

and I honestly think

it's for the best.

( melancholy ballad playing )

- Morning.

- Morning.

Alan:
And now, well...

things are good.

They're really, really good.

Who's my little sleepy bear?

Come on, it's breakfast time.

- Here we go.

- No, that's okay.

It's spilling.

What time is it?

It's like...

4:
00 in the morning, isn't it?

Yeah.

Let's do something.

What do you want to do?

I don't know. Maybe we could

sleep a little longer.

Then, we could... read.

After we sleep.

Okay.

You could read to me.

Yeah. Okay.

But I'm going to get 40 more.

Winks.

Hi.

I really felt it was about time

we got back to our Chetabi lessons.

So I thought we'd spend the afternoon

discussing rock prints.

They were used as a record,

like cave paintings,

but they captured

internal experience

rather than mere events.

The Chetabi would douse themselves

in coloring...

then think about

their ordeal during--

I don't know,

a big hunt or whatever--

and make a print.

( screams )

Really, they were...

a far more accurate

representation--

- Hey, honey.

- Hey.

You have paint on you.

I'm kind of in the middle

of a piece here.

Sorry. I'll just sit here

and watch.

Okay, as I said,

they really were

a more accurate representation

than, say, some stick figure

of a buffalo falling in a hole...

because they captured

the brutal essence of--

no, honey.

No. You're messing up

the rock print.

- Oh, sorry.

- It's serious stuff here,

and I kind of need to concentrate

to get through it.

I'll be real quiet.

You won't even know I'm here.

Okay.

Now, as I was saying,

one can sense

the true brutal nature

of the animal running down...

the--

the thing is...

I can't concentrate

while you're sitting there...

is the thing.

Okay.

Fine!

What was that?

It's kind of odd behavior,

don't you think?

Odd.

Eat your carrots.

No, honey,

I don't like them.

- They're good for your eyes.

- Sarah.

- Sarah:
Here comes the airplane.

- I don't like car--

Sarah:

Open up. I said, open up!

What are you doing?

I said, I don't like carrots!

Come on, what's wrong?

- You're going to leave.

- No, I'm not.

Yes, you are!

You'll leave me here alone!

I won't leave.

I just don't like carrots.

I'll never leave you.

Alan:

Things have been interesting.

Sarah and I have been spending

all of our time together.

A great deal of time.

And I guess

I've had some time to think.

Sarah, screaming: Alan!

I said maxi pads!

These things are useless!

But I got two cases

of these things.

Alan:
And really, things

aren't working out perfectly.

Sarah's fine,

but she clings to me.

Like I'm going to disappear

if I go to the bathroom.

Jesus.

I live by certain principles,

and the Chetabi understood

that when you're too attached,

it puts pressure on things.

I need some breathing room.

Just for a little while.

It'll be good for us.

I've got to talk to her.

That little laugh of hers

is driving me nuts.

Now, birthday boy,

you just sit right there.

It's time for your big surprise.

Come on, I don't like

making such a big deal.

- The Chetabi didn't do birthdays.

- Never you mind.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Alan

Happy birthday to you.

Now, blow out your candles.

Yeah! Now...

it is time for...

your big surprise.

- Can you guess what it is?

- I'm not good at that.

- Come on, guess.

- A new car.

- No. Guess again.

- A lifetime supply of everything.

Alan, come on.

It's really exciting.

I don't know.

Is it something new?

It's brand new, but it's been

going on since ancient times.

A Bible?

A watch?

- They had those back then.

- No.

No?

It's brand new...

but it's been going on since--

Are you pregnant?

- No.

- Oh.

It's a copy of

your goddamn dissertation.

I gathered it up and

sewed the binding myself.

- It's a great gift.

- Why did you ask if I was pregnant?

I didn't mean it

to sound that way.

How did you mean it

to sound?

You said it

the way you meant it.

There was a time

when you'd joke about

how we had to sleep together all day

to fill up the Earth.

- And now, you're going to leave me.

- I'm not!

Why do you keep saying that?

Jesus, Sarah!

I don't know.

I just feel that lately,

we've been

on top of each other.

I just need

some breathing room...

to step back and think.

- What's to think about?

- Nothing.

I think we should

change things a little.

Be more like friends...

for a while.

I didn't have

to put on this dress,

or these miserable high heels,

or give you this f***ing party.

'Cause you know what? I'm the last

f***ing woman on this Earth!

I could sit around

eating bon-bons all day,

wearing a house coat

and gain 300 pounds.

And you know what?

You'd stilI have to f*** me.

But I was being nice.

It's going to work out.

We just need some time.

( engine roaring )

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