The Last Movie Star Page #2

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because I'm the one with the car.

Take it up with my brother.

It's his stupid film festival.

- I'll meet you in the lobby.

- You call that a lobby?

Your key. Really?

I've seen phone booths

that were bigger than that.

See you soon. Can't hear you.

Yeah, right, right, right.

What a shithole.

- [horns blaring]

- [exhales]

Don't be crazy.

You're there already. Just enjoy it.

Enjoy it?

You should see this rat hole.

It smells like piss and Pine-Sol.

Well, you should feel

right at home, then.

Those boutique hotels

are always small

but they're very hip.

There's nothing hip or boutique

about this place.

And my assistant, my God.

She's just a basket case on wheels.

Oh, just relax, Vic.

It's one lousy weekend

and you'll get to the festival,

everybody will spoil you.

You'll feel like a big shot.

How bad can it be?

De Niro, Clint.

There must be something to it.

I guarantee you Clint

didn't stay in this shithole.

Oh, stop it.

I'll talk to you later.

I'm sorry about that.

[country music playing]

You are such an a**hole!

Well, I was just sitting here

and the book was here...

I'm not talking to you.

No, I am talking to you, Bjorn.

Shut up for a second.

I'm on the phone, Mr. Edwards.

Yes, I can see that.

Hello?

Bjorn?

Hello? Damn it!

What the hell is this?

This is the festival.

But it's a bar.

Yes. So what?

[upbeat music playing on speakers]

[indistinct chattering]

[man] There he is.

Oh, my gosh. Mr. Edwards.

I can't believe it. Oh, my gosh.

Vic Edwards!

Oh, man, I... I can't tell you

how excited we are

to have you here.

I'm Doug McDougal. We spoke

on the phone, remember?

- Yeah. How are you?

- I'm so good.

I can't tell you what it means to us

that you're here. We're such fans.

Let me introduce you

to my partner, Shane McAvoy.

We have been best friends

since birth,

so the first time

I saw any of your films,

it was with this guy right here.

- Really? Wow.

- Yeah.

Mr. Edwards, sir, your films

have influenced me greatly.

Your performance

in Siege at the Alamo

was a revelation of gradation

and dynamism and nuance.

Gradation, dynamism, nuance?

Sounds like a law firm.

[all laugh]

Seriously, I get choked up

even just thinking about that scene

where you're cradling

the dying Robert Mitchum.

And you say, "Mr. Crockett, sir,

it's been my privilege

defending Texas

side by side with you."

All right, wrap it up, Shane.

This is Stuart.

He's a local filmmaker

here in Nashville.

He actually shot all the promos

for the festival that play online.

Did you get a chance

to catch any of those yet?

No, I haven't, but I will.

What time do they come on?

- [all laughing]

- It's like I'm on Carson.

[Stuart] Mr. Edwards,

it is the greatest honor of my life

to be seeing you through

my viewfinder right now.

I'm making a documentary

about this historic event.

[Doug] And, of course,

you know my sister Lil,

who, in addition to being

your personal assistant

for the weekend, is an artist.

She actually made the logo

for the festival.

[chuckles]

Well, she was very handy.

Well, she's been called worse.

Uh, let's get you over

to the red carpet.

[upbeat bluegrass music playing]

[cameras clicking]

So what is he like?

What'd you guys talk about?

Did he tell you any stories?

Oh, yeah. It was great.

He told me how much

he hated the coach ticket

and how much he hated the hotel

and how much he hated my car.

And that the film festival's in a bar.

Yeah, he's a total dick.

I have no idea what you guys

are so obsessed with.

[Shane] Maybe we should watch

some of his movies together

sometime.

Yeah, I got to be

honest with you, Shane.

I'm dealing with some sh*t

with Bjorn right now,

so could you just run along?

I'm not asking you on a date.

I'm just saying that...

Yeah, that's great. Thanks.

[camera clicking]

- [woman] Vic, you were great!

- [man] Welcome to Nashville!

- I'm sorry to, um...

- Who's that?

Mr. Edwards,

it's so nice to meet you.

I'm a huge fan.

My dad loves your movies.

[music fades]

[cameras clicking]

- [all clamoring]

- [cameras clicking]

[all cheering]

Okay, now, Mr. Edwards,

if we could, right this way.

- Okay.

- I'd like to introduce you

to our social media director

and my better half.

- This is my girlfriend, Faith.

- [Vic] Hi, Faith.

Hi. Wow.

It's so exciting to meet you.

All Doug keeps talking about

is Vic Edwards, Vic Edwards.

And FYI, on Instagram,

Snapchat and Pinterest,

my name is FaithVonAwesome

but on Twitter, it's Faith,

underscore, VonAwesome.

Someone else beat me to it.

But that's okay.

And our Vines are hilarious.

And our Facebook page

already has, like, 200 likes,

so just feel free

to just invite all your friends.

And, FYI, we've got a few

hashtags going:
hashtag INFF,

hashtag Nashfilm,

hashtag ViclnNashville.

So just feel free to hashtag away

on any of your pics

that you post, okay?

- Thank you.

- Can I get you a drink?

Yeah, I'll have a whiskey.

- Aye, aye, sir. Okay.

- [Vic] Okay.

All right, Faith, actually,

just bring it on into the theater.

Um, we've got to get going.

We've got a lot of movies

to get through

before the big awards ceremony

Sunday.

The screening room

right around here.

There's actually a lot

of local contest winners

and fans that are already

in there, waiting.

[grunts] Excuse me. Pardon me.

- [man] He's here.

- [all cheering and applauding]

All right. Thank you, everybody,

for coming to the fifth annual

International Nashville Film Festival.

- [all cheering]

- Yeah.

You know, we've been doing this

for a number of years now,

but I have to say, it's never been

more exciting for me

than this year because we have

with us our guest of honor,

the number one box office star

for five years in a row.

- Six.

- Six. I'm sorry.

- That's all right.

- Six years in a row.

Tennessee's favorite son,

movie star extraordinaire.

Everybody, give it up

for Mr. Vic Edwards.

[all cheering and applauding]

So, Vic, the opening movie

of the festival tonight

is your 1961 classic

Nine Lives to Kathmandu,

for which the Hollywood

Critics Association

awarded you

Best Newcomer of the year.

That's the only time

I ever agreed with the critics.

[all laugh]

Oh, thank you. One second.

Oh. All right.

Thank you. [clears throat]

[Doug] So, yeah, Vic, like I said,

if you have any stories or anecdotes

about the making of that film,

I think we'd all love to hear 'em.

I have a question.

Please save any questions

for the Q&A after the film.

Well, Kathmandu was a B-picture,

which means

it didn't cost much to make.

Somehow, it shot right to the top.

One minute, uh,

I was a two-bit stuntman

and the next minute,

I was the toast of the town.

Hollywood can do that.

Wants to build you up,

they can do it fast.

And if they want you

to crash and burn,

they do that even faster.

Speaking of stunts, it is true

that you doubled Burt Lancaster

in Gunfight at the OK Corral?

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