The Last Time Page #2

Listen, don't make me | drag you down there myself.

Promise? Okay.

No. I'm sure she's a nice girl.

No, I gotta go. I got work to do.

Yeah. No.

No. Yeah.

Tell Marco I said hi.

Okay. I love you, too.

It'll give you a chance to see the house. | Come on, you'll love it.

Can you do me a favor?

If it's possible, | can you just not say anything

about the remote possibility | of me getting fired

if I don't get a sale this quarter?

You know, | I don't want Belisa to get worried.

So I guess Le Bernardin is out?

I'm still gonna beat you, you know.

It's just gonna take me a little longer | than I planned.

This is a nice surprise.

Yeah, you are, too.

I just dropped by

because I'm looking for that address | for this afternoon's appointment.

Check next to the stuffed panda | on the dresser.

Okay. Okay.

I'm sorry. Ted, this is my fiance, Belisa.

Belisa, this is Ted.

- Hey. | - Hi.

She's been dying to meet you. | I'll be right back.

He can be a little forgetful at times.

Yeah, I know.

Could you hand me | that hunting knife, please?

Yeah.

- There you go. | - Thanks.

Still waiting for him | to bag his first elephant.

- I can't find it! | - Check in the den!

I did.

This f***ing thing.

I'm sorry.

That's okay. Don't worry about it.

Do you want something to drink?

What have you got?

Nothing.

- Nothing? | - Nothing.

I figured you'd say no | so I just took a chance,

but it didn't really work out.

I'm sure Jaime mentioned it,

but he invited the entire neighborhood | over for a barbecue this Saturday.

He didn't say anything.

Don't bother asking. | Ted doesn't do barbecues.

Thanks. Found it.

Well, it would be really nice. | At least I would know someone.

I'll give it some thought.

No, really. | You could be my badminton partner.

Yeah. I'm gonna wait in the car.

- All right. | - Here you go.

- It was really nice meeting you. | - Thanks.

- I'm gonna wait outside. | - Okay. See you in a bit.

- Nice to meet you. | - Thanks. I was looking everywhere for this.

Hey, isn't Belisa great?

Great.

The house needs a little work. The | gardener could use a kick in the pants.

Yeah, great. Everything is great.

- You mean it? | - No.

You're kidding, right?

A house, f***ing mortgage, | neighbors and that bullshit.

- You didn't like Belisa? | - Belisa's great. No, she's great.

She may even stick around for a little while,

but eventually | she's going to break your heart.

She'll leave your rotting | soul gasping for air

while her new boyfriend sodomizes you | right out of her memory.

What? What the hell are you talking about?

You know what? I'll never understand | why people think their pathetic lives

are somehow going to get better | just 'cause they get f***ing married.

Why they get divorced, that I get. | That's easy.

I don't want to hear any more of this.

- Listen, first of all, sunshine... | - Don't call me sunshine.

There's no limit to the problems | a woman is going to bring to your life.

Dante didn't scratch the surface. | It is f***ing endless. Infinite.

It goes on and on and on.

You know, | maybe you just need to fall in love.

Love? What kind of love | are you talking about?

Are you talking about real love? | Are you talking about true love?

Are you talking about this suburban | bullshit fantasy we've been milk fed

so we don't slit each other's throats?

- Maybe you just need to get laid. | - Really? I get a piece of ass anytime I want.

- I could even f*** you with a little effort. | - That's not funny, okay. Don't even go there.

Excuse me? | Can you tell me where Route 304 is please?

Blow me.

Well, does anyone know why he's so angry?

- He was probably beaten as a child. | - How I hope.

Why do they put up with him?

Because that son of a b*tch is responsible | for 70/ of this division's sales.

I'll get him to lighten up.

Ted and I went on a sales call together.

He told the client to shove his cock | in my mouth if he wants me to shut up.

So, either one of you new guys | broken your sales cherry?

Yeah?

I got nothing.

Ted says that they fire you if you don't | get a sale before the quarter is over.

Yeah, plus they burn down your house | and rape your wife.

Oh, yeah.

So, Mr. Funny Guy, did you screw up | your first round of interviews, huh?

- What interviews? | - For a management position.

- Yeah, top man in each sales office. | - Good morning, gentlemen.

- Misty. | - Top man?

Well, why don't they just give it to Ted?

Ted? Ted would never volunteer, | and I am next on the totem pole.

Barely.

We interview here at the home office. | Chicago's got the opening.

F***ing lucky prick.

It's not luck, sweetheart.

Sh*t.

- Ted. | - Morning, Ted.

Hey, Ted. How's it going?

You gonna join the team this year?

So, as you can see, these products | not only address your current needs,

but all of your future requirements

in each and every one of your 20 | facilities on the Eastern Seaboard.

And when it comes to installation, | we can have them up and running in what,

five to 10 business days.

Well, thank you. I think we've heard enough.

- Lf you please, just let me finish, then I can... | - You are finished.

- You promised me five minutes. | - I said your time is up.

If you'll just give me a moment to explain | to you how our company can help you...

I've been doing this for 27 years.

There's nothing you can tell me | that I don't already know.

Sir, I really need this sale. I do.

I plan on starting a family. | I'm gonna get married.

I've got a family, too.

- Reynolds here has two of them. | - Three.

Good day, gentlemen. We don't validate.

"I'm starting a family"?

"I'm starting a family. "

I got flustered.

- Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. | - What the hell are you doing?

That's the time ticking away on this | quarter, and you haven't made one sale.

Where the f*** | did you find this company, anyway?

- Do you know you could've helped me? | - I'm not your f***ing wet nurse.

Why don't you draw on all that experience | you allegedly have?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

That means, I don't think | you're half the salesman you claim to be.

You know what, Ted? | I'm gonna beat you this quarter.

All right.

- Okay? | - Yeah.

And the only reason why is just | to get you to shut your f***ing mouth.

- Can I help you, sir? | - No, thanks. I'm just looking.

- Oh, hi. | - Hey.

What are you doing here?

I'm supposed to be meeting Jaime | around the corner for lunch,

but his review is running late.

So, is this where | you spend your lunch hour?

No, I eat at a caf down the street,

but I had some extra time | so I thought I'd waste it in here.

Well, it's a nice place.

Yeah. Yeah, it's really nice. | They have a great collection.

So, Jaime tells me you're | the number one salesman in the company.

I'm not too surprised. | I met a few of the other guys.

- I'm not so sure that's a compliment. | - It is.

So, what's your secret?

Maybe Jaime can pick up on it.

As long as he's young, all you | gotta do is ignore your conscience.

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