The Layover Page #5

---

Now that I have a suitcase,

I don't have to go naked.

Maybe I'll just go naked.

Oh my god, I hate myself.

I think I'm ready.

Oh, cute suit.

I'll see you by the pool.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

[KATE] Lacerater.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Can I get two Mai Tai's

over here?

Hey!

This is amazing.

You've got to try it.

It looks very inviting.

I was actually wondering if

you're not doing anything later-

First, I wasn't talking to you,

and second...

it's not gonna happen, okay?

Um, this is closed.

And it's not what you think,

that you're not hot enough...

because you're totally hot

enough.

I've dated way lower.

This seat is taken.

Guys, leave the seat next

to Meg open.

Come on, scoot. There you go.

- Huh.

- Seriously? What are you doing?

Yeah, I don't know.

[KATE] Hey!

(MAN WHISTLING)

Hey, Ryan! Look, I snagged

us a chair.

Oh my god. Oh, Jesus mother

fu.... Oh... oh my god.

Oh my god, oh...

I think I might just lay

out for a bit.

Wow, you look great.

Oh, thanks.

Stop.

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

See, this is a definition

of "cock block".

I'm really sorry about today.

Thank you so much. I'm really...

I'm embarrassed.

Embarrassed? I'm the one

that sang Pink.

I have the feeling that

that's not the first time...

that you've sang that out loud.

[RYAN] No comment.

Wanna take a dip?

Um, actually I think we're

just gonna hang out here...

Yeah, I wouldn't mind swimming.

Yeah, me, too.

I'd love to do that.

I'll come, too.

(KIDS LAUGHING)

- You don't see that much.

- What?

A hotel pool you can actually

dive in.

We love diving!

We used to go every summer

at your...

At my dad's houseboat!

You were so nervous to jump

in at first, remember?

You told me there were

piranhas in the lake...

and it freaked me out...

that was so mean of you.

You're just mad 'cause I always

beat you at diving.

That's 'cause your dad

was the judge.

I would have won with an

impartial jury.

I was so much better than you.

That's funny.

Well, you got one now.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay, let's start with the

basics. Jack knife.

You call that a jack knife?

That was more like a belly flop.

And deduct points for splash,

that's the Olympic rules.

Got it.

Now, a jack knife...

the right way.

Whoa.

Oh, sh*t.

Impartial judge gives you

a five... both of you.

Time to step it up, back flip.

Go on, do it.

Okay!

Nice!

That was your best back flip?

What're you doing?

Forward one-and-a-half tuck.

- Uh...

- What is that?

Are you crazy?

That is so dangerous.

- Still scared, I guess.

- No, I'm not scared.

It's gonna kick out.

Okay, fine, go ahead, go ahead,

do what you want.

Front one-and-a-half tuck.

- Oh my god.

- Ooh, oh, no!

That hurts.

[KATE]

Meg? Meg, are you all right?

Why are you just sitting

down there? Are you okay?

[KATE]

Meg? Are you coming up?

Meg, are you alive? Meg!

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Hi.

Hey.

Are we drinking?

She'll have a Screwdriver.

Not so much ice.

Just three cubes.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Actually, no.

I think I turned my eyelid

inside out.

Oh, there's my girls.

Can I have two Tequila Sunrises?

Did you hear the weather report?

They said that the hurricane

has passed through...

so you two might get a little

beach time after all.

Hm.

Great.

Ah, great.

Yeah, a few days of a time share

isn't as good as a week...

but you know, I'll take

what I can get.

I'm not gonna see Roger

again for a month.

Is he traveling?

Back to the wife and kids.

Thank you.

I-I'm sorry, back to where?

Roger's married, just not to me.

You were celebrating your

anniversary.

Of a love affair.

F*** you, don't judge me.

'Cause I don't like that.

'Cause let me tell you

something.

I am a lady who demands

perfection, okay?

Is it fair to his wife?

No.

Is it fair to his kids?

No.

I don't care.

Because I would do anything

for Roger.

[NANCY]

I would die for that man.

Wow.

It's true. I'd kill for him.

I'd kill his family,

I'd kill his wife.

Anybody got in my way,

I'd kill 'em.

Right there. Kill 'em.

I'd kill you, I'd kill you,

I'd kill everyone.

And I know how to do it, too,

'cause my brother's a Navy Seal.

I'm just kidding!

Oh...

It was a joke. But seriously,

you know?

Sometimes you just gotta take

what you want...

whatever the cost.

Because at the end of the day,

nobody gives a sh*t...

whether you're happy or not,

you know what I'm sayin'?

You can put their drinks

on my tab.

Thanks for everything, guys.

- Ryan!

- Ryan!

- No, no, no!

- Wait! Wait up!

- Oh, hey!

- There he is.

- [KATE] Hey.

- Oh, hey.

I uh, was actually looking

for you two.

Oh, well, look and you shall

find.

Yeah, I wanted to see you guys

before I left.

There's my road buddy.

Hey.

- Ladies.

- Hi.

How's your eye, Meg?

- It's fine.

- It looks a little...

You're leaving now?

Yeah, didn't you see

the weather report?

Our flight's gonna be back

on any moment.

I'm out of time. I just,

you know, can't take the chance.

If we drive through the night...

I can get you to Fort

by morning.

What fort?

Oh, local speak,

Fort Lauderdale.

You're going on a road trip

with a complete stranger?

He could be a serial killer

for all you know.

I'm not a serial killer.

That's exactly what a serial

killer would say.

You're something, you know that?

Let's hit the road.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Serial killer. That's great.

Awesome meeting you both.

- Bye.

- Bye.

(INHALES)

All right.

Yeah, okay.

- Bye.

- Wait!

- Got room for one more?

- Oh, sh*t.

I'll just be one minute.

Hey, you know what?

Make that... make that two!

I'll be right back, okay?

I can't help it.

I love f***ed up women.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Yeah a steward you could be

And I'm your DJ

You're my record of the week

And we'll do everything

I gotta say, I did not see

this coming.

A little company, a little

conversation.

Usually I'd just be

blasting my tunes.

Uh, by the way, are you guys

on Google Plus?

- No.

- No, I'm on Tinder.

Well, get on it. We should all

be in each other's circles.

How long is the drive?

Oh, it'll be no time at all.

I know all the back ways.

Uh, 17 hours?

I've got a million songs

on this thing...

so we're all covered on music.

Right now we're listening

to the "south on I-24 mix".

Please wait four songs

before complaining.

This is gonna be fun.

Seven hours, no sweat.

Seventeen.

Oh.

I'm going to Fort Lauderdale

and I'm bringing an apple...

a banana, an egg, a frog,

a um...

griffon, a haberdasher,

an icicle, a jackalope,

and a knight.

Ha!

It was "k", and you're an

English teacher!

No, it is "k", it's "k",

like a knight in shining armor.

I'm going to Fort Lauderdale

and I'm bringing an apple...

a banana, a Chihuahua, a

dolphin, an egg, a frog...

a griffon, a haberdasher, an

icicle, a jackalope...

a knight, and a labradoodle.

- Meg, it's your turn!

- Nice work!

Ok, I'm going to Fort Lauderdale

and I hate this f***ing game.

(MUSIC CHANGES)

- Gin.

- Son of a b*tch.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes