The LEGO Batman Movie Page #11

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You're the reason I've given up

a life spent with Russian ballerinas

and lady activewear models.

And if it wasn't for you,

I never would have learned how connected

I am with all these people.

And you.

So if you help me save Gotham,

you'll help me save us.

You just said "us."

Yeah. Batman and the Joker.

What do you say?

You had me at shut up.

How are your abs, bro?

Too much flab, not enough ab. Why?

Because I need you to crunch them.

Citizens of Gotham,

we need all of you to join us

and help bring this city back together.

I'm just gonna come right out and say it.

I hate you, Joker.

- I hate you, too.

- I hate you more.

I hate you the most.

I hate you forever.

Splendid!

We did it, everyone!

Bane is feeling warm and fuzzy.

Padre,

where are you going?

I made a promise.

I gotta go back to the Phantom Zone.

Sorry, kid.

Padre, please.

Don't call me Padre.

Okay.

Call me...

Dads.

My two dads are the same dad.

But they're both leaving.

It's gonna be okay, kid.

Sometimes, losing people is part of life.

But that doesn't mean

you stop letting them in.

Some very wise people taught me that.

My father figure.

My platonic coworker buddy,

who's a girl, but just a friend.

And you.

Mi hijo.

It's Spanish

for "son."

This is my family,

but it's your family, too.

Do you have a knife?

Why?

'Cause someone needs to cut the tension

between the two of us immediately.

Okay. I deserved that.

- Hi.

- Wait a minute.

What's going on?

I came back, just like I said I would.

You know, Mr. Batman,

when you're a talking brick,

working at the Phantom Zone,

you see a lot of crazy things.

But I've finally seen a man,

in order to make the world a better place,

take a look at himself and make a change.

Who?

- Superman.

- What?

I'm kidding. It's you.

Well, I guess I'll be seeing you

on the streets, Batman.

I guess so. Catch you later, Joker.

Let's go, gang.

Wait a minute,

we're not just gonna

let these criminals go, right?

Ah, come on, Commish. Let's face it.

Those guys are no match

for the four of us.

We'll give them a 30-minute head start.

Besides, you can't fight crime

on an empty stomach.

Hey, Computer?

We're home!

What is the password?

Iron Man sucks!

When Dad and me were fighting,

I was giving them my best one-liners.

You

complete me.

Holy family photo, Batman. I love it!

White.

All important movies end

with a white screen.

And tying up loose ends.

We're coming for you, Gotham City!

Like this snake clowns bit.

- Snake clowns?

- Told you they were real.

Did you stick wigs onto snakes?

- Maybe.

- That is so weird.

Can I play that song

I wrote for the end credits?

- That is a hard pass.

- Come on.

No!

Let the kid play whatever music he wants.

- No, no, no!

- Please?

- No.

- Padre?

Fine. 'Puter.

Okay, sir.

Yay!

Now playing Robin's happy, poppy music.

The kind that makes

parents and studio executives happy.

Come on, everyone!

- Come on, Batman!

- No!

Wow, that was fun!

Really hope nobody was recording that.

Let me see. Oh, this thing is on.

This thing is recording.

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