The Lego Movie Page #3

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Uh, I'm not sure exactly

why you'd bring that up.

It's super serious.

You do not want to mess with him.

Okay.

So don't get any ideas.

I never have any ideas.

Wait!

Stick them up.

Hands where I can see them.

Hey, uh, listen. You think

you can explain why I'm dressed like this...

...and what those big words

in the sky were all about?

And, like, where we are in time.

Your home, Bricksburg,

is one of many realms in the universe.

There's also this one...

...Pirate's Cove, Knight's Club,

Viking's Landing, Clown Town...

...a bunch of others

we don't need to mention.

Mm-hm.

Lord Business,

or as you think you know him...

...President Business...

...stole the Kragle,

the most powerful object in the universe.

Blah, blah, blah.

Proper name. Place name. Backstory stuff.

...Piece of Resistance is The Special.

Mm-hm.

I'm so pretty. I like you.

But I'm angry with you for some reason.

...tower at the end of the universe...

Mm-hm.

...put the Piece of Resistance

onto the Kragle...

...and disarm it forever.

Great.

I think I got it...

...butjust in case...

...tell me the whole thing again.

I wasn't listening.

Okay. All the people

of the universe were once free to travel...

...and mingle and build

whatever they wanted.

But President Business

was confused by all the chaos.

So he erected walls between the worlds...

...and became obsessed

with order and perfection.

And he stole the mysterious...

...secret super weapon called...

The Kragle!

- And he hired Bad Cop...

...to hunt down all the MasterBuilders,

who were always changing everything.

And those of us who remained...

...well, we went into hiding.

Built the tunnels to survive.

And we search for the Piece of Resistance.

The only thing that can stop the Kragle.

Kragle. I know that.

It might have been that cop.

He said something about the Kragle.

President Business

was going to use the Kragle...

...to end the world in three days.

I can't make any sense of it.

Taco Tuesday.

I knew that was suspicious.

There's no time to lose.

We must find Vitruvius and get to

the Office Tower before it's too late.

Okay.

Heh. How scary can someone's office be?

President Business,

we're trying to locate the fugitive...

...but his face is so generic it matches

every other face in our database.

Diabolical.

Okay, have Bad Cop meet me in my office...

...in 23 seconds. Ciao.

- Will do, sir.

Coffee sales are through the roof, sir.

Glad to hear it.

Let's rebuild that roof to be even higher!

- The roof team is on it.

- Ha, ha.

Sir, can you approve this poster

for Taco Tuesday?

Perfect. Whoo!

- I love everyone in this room.

We love you, sir!

Greatjob on the radio station.

Thank you, sir.

We love listening to this song

over and over again.

Keep it up, guys.

Honey, where are my...

...pants?

Ha-ha-ha!

Cut! Ha, ha!

Hilarious. That never gets old.

It does not.

Bad Cop is waiting for you

in your office.

Wonderful. Fantastic.

Would you cancel my 2:00?

This next meeting could run a little bit...

...deadly.

Activate helmet.

Light sequence.

Flame test.

- Engage dramatic entrance.

Aah!

Bad Cop.

Lord Business.

I know The Special got away, but...

Don't be so serious.

Where's the other guy?

- Hey, friend.

Hey, buddy!

- I missed you.

- Aw, did you really?

Have I ever shown you my relic collection?

Nope. I don't think you have.

Nobody knows where this stuff comes from.

This one...

...is the Cloak of Ban Da'Id.

I hear it's super painful to take off.

- You wanna try it on?

- Well, um...

No, but thank you.

We've done some great work

over the years together, Bad Cop...

...capturing all those MasterBuilders...

...and torturing them and whatnot.

Thank you, sir.

Although...

...you did let the Piece of Resistance go.

The one thing that can ruin my plans.

The one thing that I asked you to take care of.

That's super frustrating.

It makes me just wanna pick up whoever...

...is standing closest to me...

...and throw them through this window...

...and out into the infinite abyss

of nothingness!

I wanna do it so bad.

I know you do, sir. Please don't.

And it's not just you, Bad Cop,

that keeps messing up my plans.

People everywhere

are always messing with my stuff.

But I have a way to fix that.

A way to keep things exactly

the way they are supposed to be.

Permanently.

Behold...

...the most powerful weapon...

...of all the relics:

The Kragle!

As you can see, they're

loading the Kragle in a big machine upstairs.

I call it...

...the Tentacle Arm Kragle Outside Sprayer.

Or TAKOS.

The "S" is silent.

So on Taco Tuesday...

...it's going to spray the Kragle

over everyone and everything...

...with a bunch of super-scary nozzles

like this one!

- I'll show you how it works.

- Sir, I don't know if this is necessary.

Oh, don't worry. I won't test it on you.

I'll do it on your parents!

What?

- Hi, son.

- Hi!

How's it going in the big city?

Mommy. Daddy.

What are you doing here?

Okay, Pa. I just want you to act naturally.

- Like you're going about your day.

- Gotcha.

Yeah. Keep your hand up like that.

Ma, scoot...

...two steps in to the right.

- Pa, whenever I talk to Ma...

- Uh-huh?

...you start to move.

- Sorry, sir.

Get back to where you were!

- Here?

Perfect.

That's great. You can't do anything better.

No reason why you should move.

Right.

Now, Ma...

...hand on his shoulder. And you...

Pa, you just moved...

...and you've just wrecked it!

- Uh-huh.

You wrecked it!

Bad Cop, you see what I'm talking about?

All I'm asking for is total perfection.

Send in a Micro-manager!

Commencing micro-management.

Hold still, you guys.

And then...

...I just spray them...

...with the TAKOS.

Oh, Pa, hold me.

Oh, darling, I can't move me legs.

- Does that upset you, Bad Cop?

- Um...

Surely you feel bad for your parents,

and you wanna help them, don't you?

We're okay, son. Just a little stuck, is all.

Go ahead...

...finish the job.

Of course, sir.

No, I don't want to.

- You have to.

- I don't want to.

- Would you please be quiet?

- I can't.

- You must. Shut it!

- But they...

- It's not nice.

- It's yourjob, man.

I can't do it.

- They're innocent.

- Just as I thought.

Your Good Cop side's

making you soft, Bad Cop.

Robots!

Bring me the fleece-crested

Scepter of Q-Teep...

...and the P-Lish Remover of Na-ll.

You've already let The Special

get away once.

Sir.

I'm just gonna make sure

it doesn't happen again.

No more Mr. Nice Guy!

Oh, son!

On Taco Tuesday,

I'm going to Kragleize the entire universe...

...so that everyone

will stop messing with my stuff!

Are you gonna be with me...

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