The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp Page #4

Die Dame mit dem Hut.

Kaunitz was a prisoner in our blockhouse.

This was the only record

we had on our phonograph.

I want to see if he remembers it.

Also, Kaunitz, erzahlen Sie mal.

VON REUMANN:
Also, meine Herren,

die kleinen Englander...

I Am Titania

Touched him on the raw, all right.

Diese Musik kann ich nicht leiden.

Wieder diese Musik!

Herr Ober!

He's calling the waiter.

Herr Ober!

Sie sollen aufhoren, diese Mignon zu spielen.

- Is he trying to bribe the orchestra?

- Not with money. Beer.

- Bier fur das Orchester.

- Jawohl!

Herr Kapellmeister, bitte, bitte.

Horen Sie auf, diese Mignon zu spielen.

- Warum das?

- Die Unteren.

Die wunschen es nicht zu horen.

Es geht den auf die Nerven.

- (Music stops)

- Round one to Kaunitz.

VON REUMANN:
Prost, meine Herren. Prost!

MEN AT TABLE:
Prost!

Reinforcements are coming.

Herr Kapellmeister, Bier fur das Orchester.

Das ist grobartig.

Bier.

Von dem Tisch dadruben.

I Am Titania

- Herr Ober!

- Jawohl, Herr Kaunitz?

- lch habe alle bestochen!

- lch habe es also getan. Fur die da oben.

- Darum hat ein Herr die Mignon gewunscht.

- Er hat eine verdammte Frechheit.

He's coming up.

- Let us go, Mr Candy.

- A bit late now.

- I hope he doesn't see you.

- I hope he does.

Hello, Kaunitz.

Das ist ja eine schone Uberraschung,

Herr Candy.

- Come on, Kaunitz. You speak English.

- I do.

But I prefer German.

Meine Damen und Herren!

- Stop it, Kaunitz. I'm with a lady.

- You should have thought of that earlier.

- Erlauben Sie mir...

- Stop it, Kaunitz.

- Take off your...

- Come on. Be a good lad.

Kameraden!

Get back to your table.

(Onlookers gasp)

Dafur werden Sie Rechenschaft geben.

- Sie Flegel, Sie!

- Hilf mir, Hans.

Herr Kapellmeister, spielen Sie.

Spielen Sie einen Walzer.

- Please tell him that it's all his fault. He started it.

- Englander!

Bitte, meine Herren, kein Skandal.

Nehmen Sie lhre Platze.

Eine Schande!

Sie dulden englische Schweine in ihrem Lokal.

- Wir haben gar nichts gemacht.

- lhnen haben wir nichts zu tun!

Manners!

Ich spreche Englisch.

You will get into great trouble.

You are not now in England.

- You saw very well that he asked for it.

- Was sagt er?

Herr Kaunitz is a friend of ours.

You will satisfaction give.

Please stop shouting. You don't understand.

This gentleman and Herr Kaunitz are old friends.

GERMANS:
Was sagt sie?

- Sie sagt, Kaunitz und ich sind alte Freunde!

It's going a bit far

to call that skunk a friend of mine.

Herr Kaunitz is a member

of der Alldeutsche Verband!

The Alldeutsche Verband

ought to be ashamed of itself.

Was sagt er?

Er sagt, der Alldeutsche Verband

soll was schamt.

(Crowd gasps)

Mein Herr, officers of the lmperial German Army

are members of das Alldeutsche Verband.

Then the officers of the lmperial German Army

ought to be ashamed of themselves, too.

Meine Damen und Herren,

er hat gesagt, die Offiziere der Armee

des Kaisers sollen sich schamen.

(Crowd gasps)

Ein Augenblick, bitte.

Bitte sehr.

- Von Ritter. Von Schonborn.

- Er, Fitzroy.

GERMAN OFFlCERS:
Guten Tag.

- Konnen wir mit lhnen Deutsch sprechen?

- Naturlich. Was wunschen Sie?

Being on British territory,

shouldn't we speak in English?

Righto. How can I help you gentlemen?

- Won't you sit down?

- Thank you.

Thank you.

We wish some information about a compatriot

of yours in Berlin, a certain Mr Candy.

- Clive Candy?

- Yes, Clive Candy.

You've come to the right man.

We were at Harrow together.

We've lost touch a bit since the war.

He's Army, you know.

- An officer of the British Army?

- Just returned from South Africa.

Oh, this is excellent news.

- Ein Offizier.

- Grobartig!

You have relieved us from great doubts.

We were worried

he might not be able to give satisfaction.

Satisfaction?

An officer of the lmperial German Army

cannot demand satisfaction from an opponent

who is not his equal in position and honour.

Since this Clive Candy is an officer,

- he can be challenged.

- Challenged to what?

- To a duel, Mr Fitzroy.

- Duel?!

Hurry to the Kaiserhof.

Bring Mr Clive Candy here at once.

Don't come back without him.

I told you to hurry, Venning!

Don't argue. Go at once!

Mr Candy has insulted

the whole of the German Army.

I didn't, sir. I only said if the officers belonged

to the Alldeutscher Verband with Kaunitz...

then the German Army ought to be

ashamed of itself. That's what you said.

- 82 Ulan officers want to challenge you.

- Mr Candy's told me the whole story.

By the way, that girl you mentioned,

is she trustworthy?

Oh, undoubtedly, sir.

It's not suggested Mr Candy should fight

the whole officer corps?

They're drawing lots to decide who is to fight

this gentleman...who has not insulted anybody.

Have you any suggestions, Colonel?

Militarily speaking, Mr Candy has no option.

If he cannot fight a duel, he must run away.

Politically speaking, such an action

would be disastrous. Mr Candy must fight.

One moment. Surely you're leaving Mr Candy

out of your calculations.

- I'll fight if necessary, sir.

- Yes, my dear boy. I know that.

- You'd better go to your hotel and stay there.

- Yes, sir.

Could you get in touch with Miss er...

Miss Hunter, sir? I believe I could.

Tell her to give the impression that your

reasons for coming to Berlin were to see her.

- You're in love with her or something of the sort.

- But I'm not.

Mr Candy, you've caused

enough trouble already. Do what I ask.

Meanwhile, I and these gentlemen

will discuss the best way to get you out of this.

And us.

(Whispers) Well, you are a...

VON RlTTER:
May I have the Codex?

Thank you.

This is our famous Brown Codex,

Colonel Goodhead.

The code of honour observed by all duellists.

We thought you might not be familiar with it.

Thank you. I shall study it with attention.

We have permission

to offer for the site of the duel

the gymnasium at the barracks of our regiment.

We agree.

We are now in the position to announce

who will fight Lieutenant Candy.

Oberleutnant Theodor Kretschmar-Schuldorff.

- May I make a note of that?

- With pleasure.

- His card.

- Thank you.

Have you any suggestions

regarding choice of leader for the duel?

We suggest the military attache

to the Swedish legation.

Ausgezeichnet.

We agree. His name is...?

- Colonel Borg.

- Colonel Borg.

Regarding sabres, we shall, of course,

supply a number to choose from.

- We shall supply a number, as well.

- Certainly, Colonel.

VON RlTTER:
The choice of sabres

will be determined by lot.

You know, of course, that sabres must not

exceed the maximum weight of 60 decagrams?

- 60 decagrams.

- We shall make a note of it.

- Bring your own doctor. We shall bring ours.

- We agree.

Do you prefer to strip the upper parts

of the bodies of the combatants,

- or do you prefer shirtsleeves?

- Shirtsleeves.

I see here that paragraph 1 33 says,

"A few hours previous to the duel

it is advisable to take a bath. '

Only the principals, not the seconds!

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