The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp Page #7

Dandies. They say it's an awfully good show.

- The paper said...

- What paper? What do you mean?

Is that what's making you cry?

No, the paper said there was a play

at Her Majesty's called Ulysses.

Oberleutnant Kretschmar-Schuldorff

returns your books, Mr Candy.

He is on his way to see you.

Oh, I must hurry.

You'd better. I'll meet you in the hall.

Well, what am I to do with them?

I don't read German.

- Miss Hunter got them for me.

- You can present them to our library.

Clever Nurse Erna,

but I must write my name in them...

so Clive Candy's name will live for ever

in a corner at Stolpchensee.

(Cheery whistling)

May I come in?

Come in, my old horse, my old steeplechaser.

Wo ist Edith?

Packing.

Wieso packing?

- Wieso packing?

- Of course. Und Sie? How much longer Sie?

Oh, ich eine week,

oder...

- Two weeks?

- Two week.

Ja.

- Clive, Edith come here translate.

- I can translate.

- Nein, danke. Das ist viel zu wichtig.

- Don't interrupt Edith. She'll never be ready.

Shall I fetch Miss Hunter?

Ich mussen call at Embassy, old man,

get my ticket nach London.

Ja. Bitte, wollen Sie das Fraulein hierher holen.

- Drink?

- Nein.

- Not now.

- All right.

What the blazes is up with everybody today?

Clive...

you...und l...

friends, yes?

Or no?

Well, of course we're friends.

We must...

..duel again.

Where's your dictionary, old man?

You must have got two pages stuck together.

I...Iove...

..your...

Ich habe das Wort vergessen.

Your...Miss Hunter.

Say that again.

I...Iove...

your...Miss Hunter.

You're cuckoo.

No...nein. Ich...

Ich nein cuckoo.

You cuckoo...

because Miss Hunter...

Ioves me.

Congratulations! When did it happen?

Why don't I know about it?

- No duel?

- Duel? I?

Ich fight anyone who tried to stop it.

- Now will you have a drink?

- Double drink!

You know, old boy, Edith was never my fiancee.

Ah, fiancee! Das ist das Wort,

das ich nicht finden kann.

No, not my fiancee. Lovely girl. Sweet girl.

But not my fiancee. Cheers.

Bottom up.

(Knocking)

Come in.

Ah, Nurse Erna. Come and have a drink.

- Where's the fiancee?

- Sie will nicht kommen.

- Sie will nicht kommen?

- She won't come down?

- Then we'll go up. Come on, Theo.

- Moment. Moment. Die Flaschen.

Und the glasses.

(Knocking)

CANDY:
Edith!

Come in.

Edith, my child. I feel like a proud father.

Do you, Clive? Why?

- I have to give you away, don't l?

- Who told you?

- I told.

- In fluent double German.

Das einzige Wort, das ich nicht finden konnte.

- Fiancee.

- Fiancee, ja.

A toast. Here's to the happiness of my fiancee

who was never my fiancee,

and here's to the man who tried to kill me

before he was introduced to me. Prost.

- Prost.

- May I kiss the bride?

Why ask? I did not ask.

- Goodbye, Clive.

- Goodbye, Edith, old girl.

I hope we'll meet again sometime.

I'm sure we shall.

Now, listen to me, you son of a gun,

you won't understand a word

of what I'm going to say,

but I came to Berlin to find a rat, and I found

two of the grandest people I've ever met.

I leave to you,

you Prussian stiff-neck you, this girl in trust,

and if you dont take care of her,

I'll raise the whole of England against you.

The Navy will steam up

your stinking Stolpchensee,

and I'll lead the Army down Unter den Linden,

and we'll...

Clive...

..my English is not very much...

..but my friendship for you...

..is very much.

- I hope it's taughtyou a good lesson, Candy.

- Yes, sir.

The trouble with you young fellows is you want

to go changing everything. What's the result?

You spent all your leave in a nursing home

full of foreigners.

You cost the Treasury a lot of money.

You make the Foreign Office very cross.

Yes, very cross.

And what do you get for it?

Your beauty's spoiled.

You weren't any fashion plate before.

I'd be surprised if any woman

would look twice at you.

- So would l.

- When you were here in January,

I told you very clearly it was not your concern,

it was an Embassy job.

Well, sir, I thought I'd take a chance.

A chance? A chance?!

You can't afford to take a chance

with your career, my boy.

You are in the Army as a career, aren't you?

Not for five minutes?

You were putting up a pretty good show.

You go barging in on this nonsense,

and you come very near

to getting yourself kicked out.

- You don't want to get kicked out, do you?

- No, sir.

Well, let me tell you one thing.

Don't bother your head with things you don't

understand and you won't go far wrong.

Never go off at half-cock. Keep cool.

Keep your mouth shut

and avoid politicians like the plague.

That's the way to get on in the Army.

Thank you, sir.

Care to dine at my club tonight?

- Sorry, sir. I'm taking someone to the theatre.

- Pretty?

I haven't met her yet, sir.

Oh, you're still a bit cracked, my boy.

Well, I hope you improve as you get older.

And cheer up, my boy.

Yes, sir.

Fanfare

Father,

whose oath in hollow hell is heard, whose act

is lightning after thunder-word. A boon!

A boon - that I compassion find for one,

the most unhappy of mankind.

- How is he named?

- Ulysses.

He who planned to take the towered city

of Troy-land.

- What wouldst thou?

- This!

That he at the last may view

the smoke of his own fire curling blue.

Where bides the man?

Calypso this long while

detains him in her languorous ocean-isle.

Father of gods, this man hath stricken blind

my dear son Polyphemus.

And with wind, with roaring waves,

by me let him be hurled from sea to sea,

- and dashed about the world.

- Peace, children,

and from your shrill reviling cease!

Hermes, command Calypso to release Ulysses,

and to waft him over seas.

Ulysses shall return.

Cloud-gatherer, stay!

Yet canst thou work in mischief on the way.

Yet ere he touch at last his native shore,

Ulysses must abide one labour more.

Thank you. Where's the bar?

Darling, do control yourself.

..breathing, face amid the breathless dead,

the track of terror and the slope of doom.

I say, there's old Suggie.

Really, darling? Where?

(Whispers) Suggie? Suggie?

-.. is hungering still...

- Suggie!

..oh, Father, in thyyouth,

didst feel at least for mortal women ruth.

To Leda, Leto, Danae, we are told,

didst show thee on occasion tenfold...

Who's the girl with Clive, darling?

Do you know her?

- As a matter of fact, I do.

- Well, darling, who is she?

I believe he met her sister in Berlin.

Darling, why all this mystery? Who is she?

My niece's governess. A Miss Hunter.

Wonders will never cease. Sybil Gilpin

out without her mother, and with Hoppy, too.

Didn't you know, Mr Candy? They're married.

- Hoppy and Sybil?

- Over a month ago.

The family were quite taken by surprise.

It was very romantic and sudden.

And they met here in this very theatre.

I know. I seem to be a born matchmaker.

- Hello, Pebble.

- Master Clive!

- Your aunt is asleep.

- All right. Don't disturb her.

- I didn't feel like going to the club.

- You're not sick, Master Clive?

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