The Lifeguard Page #2

some things remain

from our youth.

No.

I get up so early.

It's torture.

Me too.

I have to go.

I'm asleep right now.

Good night.

Just...

no, don't go.

Sh*t.

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

It's probably the same sh*t

as before.

I wasn't here in 2000,

so I don't know.

You've gotta log

the pressure in these tanks

every day.

They drop below 10

or above 30,

you gotta let me know.

I remember.

The ritual.

I usually cut the grass

about once a week,

every 10 days.

When it gets really high,

I try to keep it

out of the pool.

You got the hook over there.

Got new chairs.

All right then.

Here are the keys.

I'm usually around

unless I'm not.

Don't skimp on the cleaning.

I will not.

Okay.

Hello.

Hi.

Hey.

I'm Little Jason.

My dad's Big Jason,

head of maintenance.

Leigh.

New lifeguard.

Yep.

I... I live right there.

Apartment in the garage.

Oh.

Oh. Yeah.

See ya.

Hey.

Hi.

No running.

Hey!

No running!

What are you doing in here?

Stop! Oh, my god!

Stop it!

F*** you, you f***ing b*tch!

Suck my dick.

Excuse me?

You need to

leave the pool, now.

Get out.

- No, b*tch. Suck it.

- get out! Out! Out!

Right now! Get out!

No running!

F*** you!

You're f***ing ugly!

Get out, now!

Leigh.

Small Jason.

How you doin'?

Fine.

Can I have a cigarette?

Do you know the kids

who live here?

Some of 'em.

Do you know one

who's about 10...

But he looks like

a 1930s italian gangster...

Except shrunk into a miniature,

and he's really obnoxious

like he has no mother?

Aaron.

He has a mom.

She's fat... to, like,

the point of not moving.

Why?

He can't come to the pool

anymore. He's banned.

Why?

Because he wouldn't listen,

and he and his friends

swore at me,

and they wouldn't listen.

And I'm not...

I'm not invisible.

I'm the f***in' lifeguard,

motherf***er.

And some c*nt just sat

over there in her chair,

flipping through her magazine

like I didn't even

need her help.

Oh, sh*t.

Whoa.

Well, she was.

I'm not a babysitter.

I'm not here to be screamed at.

You gonna quit?

I don't want to.

I really don't, but...

thought you were supposed

to be healthy, lifeguard.

I'm just supposed to

make sure you don't die.

You're talking about

middle schoolers?

There were four of them.

Leigh, were they standing

on each other's shoulders,

or how did this...

I told Mel

we'd pick her up later.

Do we have reservations?

For what?

Let's just, you know,

do whatever.

You don't even have to come.

Really. It might not even

be fun for you.

If you don't want me to come,

just say so, okay?

Maybe stay home?

Is that okay?

I just want to

get it out of her...

you know, what she's doing.

And then I'll come home

and tell you everything.

Yeah.

I really don't care.

You don't... Care?

You can't drink though.

One glass of red wine

is... Fine.

Honestly. How else would

french women get pregnant?

Oh, okay. Yeah.

Whatever, Mel.

A**hole.

Hey.

Mmm. Jesus.

Hi. So...

lifeguard.

Yeah?

Can you buy us beer?

Please?

Yeah. Lumpy's brother

was supposed to,

but circumstances intervened.

No.

Why?

I mean, because

we have lives...

That don't need

to be interrupted

by the long arm of the law.

What would we get out of it?

I don't know.

I think you do.

What is valuable

to someone looking

to broaden his mind?

Something you could

perhaps purchase.

It grows in nature.

Oh.

A moment, please,

while we conference.

What about Mel?

I don't know, lifeguard.

What about Mel?

No. No, no, no.

Excuse me.

You didn't say anything

about getting weed from

my 16-year-old students.

They look older.

Yeah. No.

We should go then.

Hey. No. No.

If you're so worried,

then don't do it.

Oh, that's so much fun.

I'm so glad that I left

my car at home.

Then do it.

They'll think

you're awesome.

Keep your voice down.

No. This is not...

I could get fired.

'Sup?

Vice principal

smith-lentz.

Hi, boys.

Um... all right.

Let's talk about this,

because this is potentially...

Very confusing, I think,

for everyone.

I came here with these people

not knowing what they

were intending to do...

Or with whom...

Or... What.

I don't care

if you smoke weed

with us...

Because I'm droppin' out.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, I don't

give a sh*t.

Are you insane?

Do... do you actually

want to face this cold,

harsh world...

Without a high school diploma?

Why don't you

just blind yourself

while you're at it?

No.

I hate it here.

We're moving to Vermont.

Vermont?

yeah.

I definitely am.

My sister's up there.

Yeah, my mom's there

with my stepdad,

like an hour away.

It's way better than here.

You heard what they said.

They're not

your students, so...

shall we?

Todd?

Great.

No. This is wrong.

To you, it is, Mel.

Not to the rest of us.

Oh, wow. This is...

now you see what

I have to put up with.

Mm-hmm. But...

I... hey. Hey.

No, I do not approve of this!

You went to RH.S. Too?

Yeah.

Um, Leigh was actually

valedictorian.

What were you?

Um, I...

well...

leonard, it actually took me

until after high school...

To really focus.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Do not share this location

with anyone unworthy.

Does the old lady have,

like, a f***in' shotgun

for trespassers?

She doesn't have a shotgun.

But if I find out any

of your friends came here...

And desecrated a tiger lily...

Or littered,

I will have a shotgun.

That's cool.

What?

Don't be an idiot.

Just...

I wish I could

impress that upon you.

Okay.

I know you think

this town is bad...

And, you know,

you need to leave,

but I don't think

you realize how privileged

this experience is.

How's it privileged?

Nature, for one.

Excellent public school

education,

for two.

It's safe.

You're sheltered... which

you never will be again.

Well, me and him

get arrested one more time,

we're tried as adults.

My classes suck, so...

well, stop doing

dumb sh*t, "a."

And "b,"

Your classes don't suck.

I'm in special ed.

I have AD.D., so...

what?

Having AD.D. Does not mean

you should be in special ed.

Thanks.

I know.

Orion's belt.

Big dipper.

Mmm... Seven sisters.

You're 16.

You have your whole life

ahead of you.

You have no idea

how lucky you are right now.

Thank you for driving.

That was...

Probably unfortunate.

F*** you guys.

- What?

- I really needed

to have fun tonight.

And you didn't even care.

And you don't even...

you never ask

how I am or...

Mel, what's... what's wrong?

It's just really hard,

trying to get pregnant.

I... I think

that's normal, right?

Isn't your life perfect?

No!

Oh!

Hey. Hey.

I read somewhere

they did a study

of children in jamaica...

Whose mothers smoked weed

during utero,

and they were actually

happier and more creative

than other children.

I believe that.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

"Remember to not

be too nostalgic

for this time.

Our lives

are what lay ahead...

In this uncharted territory

of our dreams.

Aw.

Be brave and bold...

And do not look back,

classmates,

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