The Lion of the Moguls Page #2

As you might've guessed,

I had no trouble getting the house

in the divorce settlement.

I've met the guy before a couple times.

He's very nice.

Hello, Andy.

Welcome. Welcome. Please, come in.

Nice place. Big.

Thank you.

Um, so we had a really nice trip.

I think Billy enjoyed it.

At least I hope he did.

He'll be right down.

Or you can go up. How you been?

Oh, uh, I'm good.

Hello, Andy.

Oh, hey, Thel.

How are you?

Good. You look good.

Thank you.

Hows everything?

Oh, everything...

- Are you working? ... is fine.

Some place, huh?

- Billy must love it.

- Yeah.

- Hey, Dad!

- Hey, birthday boy!

Hey.

Hey.

- Some place you got here.

- Yeah. You wanna see it?

I can show you around.

You gotta see my room.

Yeah. Yeah.

Go ahead. Go ahead. See you guys later.

Hey, get your dad something to drink.

Nice guy. Howard.

Yeah, I really like him.

I mean, He's not as great as you,

but if you and mom had to split up...

Hey, hey. I want you to like him.

Dont worry about that.

Hey, I got you something.

Oh, great. You didnt have to do that.

Yeah, right, Dopey.

Ah.

Whoa. Dope.

Ha. This is some room, Dopey.

Yeah, you know, Howard

has lots of money, so...

Yeah, thats good quality.

Whew.

Listen, Dad, about this weekend.

Mm-hmm?

Do you think it'd be okay

if I didnt come stay with you?

Its just this guy in my class,

my first new friend at this school,

has a country house and

invited me for the weekend.

Oh. No, go have fun with your friends.

Its not that I dont

want to hang out with you.

No. No. Hey, you know.

Youre getting older now,

you have things to

do with your friends.

Yeah, its just for this weekend.

Are you sure you understand?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Go, have a great time.

- Go.

- All right.

Hey, give me my present.

Oh, this? No, no.

Dad, I know its a basketball.

Its okay. I dont have one from you.

This isnt for you.

Uh, I'm definitely

giving you something,

but I just forgot to bring it.

I'm sorry. I'll get it to you.

Really, Dad, it doesnt matter.

If you bought it for

me, Id like to have it.

But I didnt, Bill.

Didnt you understand what I said?

This isnt for you.

This is for somebody

I have to see after... Later.

Sorry.

I'm real sorry you cant stay.

Yeah, me, too. Wish I could. L...

Yeah. Hey, uh, Andy?

Um...

Look, um...

All right, you have a great son.

And I also care about him a great deal,

and I hope thats okay.

Now, um, I've been very

fortunate in my life,

and its my pleasure to give to Billy,

but if youre not

comfortable with that...

You give, uh, whatever you like.

Whatever you got. Lots.

You know, He's a good

kid. Its good of you to...

Yeah, thanks. I gotta go.

That was a good day.

Oh, while we were gone, Otis came in.

I don't know.

He's my friend, I love the guy,

and, yeah, I'm

apologizing ahead of time,

but hang in there.

No one loves women more than me.

I like women more than I like men.

I like women so much

that I cant understand

why theyre not all lesbians.

I'm not related to the guy.

I'm discouraged, God damn it!

I hear you, Andy.

Youve got to give it

a different kind of try.

He's not reading that paper.

Not that.

This is America.

Anythings possible!

Think, Andy! Think!

Whatever he comes up

with, were not in.

You have a great son.

You're fired, stinky. Good-bye.

I'd sure hate to lose

you as a customer.

Oh, crap.

Were gonna make a porno film!

Wop-bop-a-loo-mop-a-lop-bam-bam

Tutti Frutti, oh, rootie

Tutti Frutti, whoo

Tutti Frutti, oh, rootie

Tutti Frutti, oh, rootie

A-wop-bop-a-loo-mop

a- lop bam bam

I got a gal named Sue

She knows just what to do

I got a girl named Sue

She knows just what to do

She rock me to the East

She rock me to the West

But she's the girl that I love best

Tutti Frutti, oh, rootie

Tutti Frutti, whoo

Tutti Frutti, oh, rootie

Tutti Frutti, oh, rootie

You definitely qualify

for a free rental.

Porn is a $12 billion industry

in annual sales.

959 million rentals of porn

reported this year.

15,000 new ones are coming out.

300 a week.

What are the newest,

hottest things in porn?

Amateur porn.

The stuff that just any idiot can make

with his video camera.

Any idiot.

Some Idiots got a brother.

Now, we are amateurs.

This is so right for us.

Now, whats even better

is were gonna do something

thats never been done before.

Were gonna be the first town

to band together

to make the first full-length feature

amateur adult film.

So, two firsts for us.

This could be really noisy.

I wanna go for the brass ring here.

You know, why do it otherwise?

Am I right, Emmett?

Were behind you 100%, Andy.

Sure.

Is that camera connected to his face?

Pass those over there.

Emmett, Floyd, is what

they call a film guy.

He's one of those guys

that knows all about movies,

making them and seeing them.

Well, He's seen everything.

He works at a video store.

- And thats Emmett?

- Emmett is a film guy, Moose.

He's a film guy, Moose.

I know that, Barney. I heard Andy.

Well, great. Welcome, Emmett.

Emmett has been taking film classes

that have lasted all

summer long, and, uh...

Ive taken classes.

I know that, Some Idiot.

I gotta tell you, I have

a feeling about this kid.

Andy, all the blood from the stone

that is me is yours without asking.

Just curiosity here.

Whats in it for Emmett?

Emmett is our...

Cinematographer.

He's going to shoot the film.

And he, you know,

knows what He's doing.

Plus, He's gonna do it for free.

Perfect.

Just doing it for the experience.

Okay?

I'm in. Except for no money,

its a no-brainer for me.

First off, making a stag film

has to be a good time.

Number two, my hats off to you.

Good job. We can do this.

What are we talking about here?

Making a dirty movie...

film, whatever, whatever.

What does that require?

Pointing a camera at a he and a she

he'in and a she'in.

We film some sex, we got a porno.

We have accomplished our goal.

Its not a hundred

things, its one thing.

The one thing people most want to do.

Proceed, dont mind us,

were just doing a little filming here.

Its so specific,

its so well-defined,

I gotta say we can do this.

Thank you, Otis.

I'm with you, Otis. You said it.

All right, buddy. Go porno.

Porno! Porno!

I cant wait, you know? Down in front.

I'm no choirboy, but

if we make a porno,

then weve made a porno.

Doesnt the mafia make them?

Well...

All right, enough snacks.

Floyd, good question,

but the mafia isnt making this one.

Butterface Fields is, hmm?

Each of us has lived

here all our lives.

We score, we score together.

Right.

We dont want to hurt anybody.

We know why were doing this.

Its business, right?

That means were gonna need a script?

Yeah, thats right.

I'm the guy for that.

Well, we'll talk about that, Some.

But just sex scenes

sounds fine to me, eh.

No. No, Otis. No.

- And were gonna need a director.

- Thats right. Yeah.

- I'm the guy for that.

- Well talk about that, Some.

First, let me just...

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