The Love Guru Page #7

I think they're doing it hard.

Let's go to the Kellistrator.

The ultimate distraction!

- I love you.

- I love you.

Post-ejaculation,

the barbs at the tip of the penis retract.

Bing-bam-boom, you got

a baby pachyderm. Back to you, Trent.

Now, what happens

if you don't score this goal?

I'd still be a hero

to me!

Yes! "Gee, you are you." TM.

Go get 'em!

Come on, Roanoke! Let's go!

Five-hole!

No!

Five-hole trap!

The Toronto Maple Leafs

have won the Stanley Cup!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

- I love hockey! I love hockey!

- I love hockey, too!

They did it!

The curse is over for the Leafs,

and I need to sleep!

We didn't waste time.

We didn't waste no time.

- Maurice?

- Deepak Chopra!

Oprah called me,

and she said you canceled.

I told her

she should give you another chance.

As great as you are, I don't need

to become the next Deepak Chopra.

I am the first Guru Pitka!

You are free.

You're a good man, Deepak Chopra.

Hey, Pitka?

Sorry I punched you in the nuts.

That's okay. Give me a hug.

If you ever sucker punch me again,

I'll kick your ass all the way back

to the Keebler factory.

Give me a pound. Lock it down.

Break the pickle. Tickle, tickle.

- You.

- No, you.

- Come on now, you.

- No, you.

Well, no, you.

And so our story ends

where it all began,

here in the tiny Indian village

of Harenmahkeester,

in the valley of Lintinmybelli.

Oh, hi.

- Maurice.

- Oh, my God. You look so beautiful.

Thank you.

Maurice.

You have finally learned to love yourself.

You may now renounce

your vow of chastity.

May I have the key?

There is no key. There never was.

There's a snap in the back.

Thank you, Guru Tugginmypudha. Yeah.

Are you leaving?

The last rule of guru

is to rid student of the need of guru.

Yes, of course.

Okay, see you.

Doesn't work sometimes.

So, what do you want to do now?

Well, I've been wearing this belt

since I was 12 years old.

What do you think I want to do now?

I want to sing!

Some people call me

the space cowboy, yeah

Some call me the gangster of love

Some people call me Maurice

Because I speak

of the pompatus of love

'Cause I'm a picker I'm a grinner

- I'm a lover

- I'm a lover

- And I'm a sinner

- And I'm a sinner

- I play my music in the sun

- I play my music in the sun

- I'm a joker

- I'm a joker

- I'm a smoker

- I'm a smoker

- I'm a midnight toker

- I'm a midnight toker

- I get my loving on the run

- I get my loving on the run

I am the love guru, yeah

He's a picker

He's a grinner

He's a lover

He's a sinner

He plays his music in the sun

I'm a joker

I'm a smoker

I'm a midnight toker

I get my loving on the run

Starting mark.

Hey, Peter,

can we move the camera in?

All I can see is asses.

Now you know what it's like.

Bravo,

Verne, bravo.

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