The Making of the Life and Death of Peter Sellers Page #5

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Good. Get rid of that there.

Truly, truly beautiful.

She is the most extraordinary girl.

Like a tulip about to bloom.

Absolutely exquisite.

Phenomenal in bed.

It is funny, isn't it?

I keep saying that I'll never get hooked

again, I'm tired of having my heart bleed,

yet I think I want to marry her.

That is, if you think it's OK.

Oh, decisions, decisions.

- Will you come to my suite, my sweet.

- Drive on, James! Now!

Ooh, it's the cops. Act normal.

It's all right, Officer, I'm fully licensed.

Oh, I'm so sorry, my darling.

Care to put on some music, love?

- It doesn't work.

- Don't trouble yourself, sweetheart.

There are many ways

of making beautiful music.

Cheers.

It's a bit dark in here. Could you

get the curtains, darling? It's that switch.

What d'you say? Would you care

to become the second Mrs Sellers?

Better hurry up, love. I've only

got the band for another half-hour.

I love you, Peter!

Do you hear that, folks?

- She loves me on a scratched film.

- Here we go!

Peg, what do you think of the new cottage?

- You're watering the gin.

- In your case, that's not a bad idea.

You've only known that Nazi for three weeks.

Peg, I couldn't be happier.

Why are you making

the same mistake all over again?

Because, my love, they won't let me marry you.

Mr Sellers, how's about

a shot of you and your mum?

So, where's your honeymoon?

Where else, Peg? Hollywood, US of A.

- Happy, darling?

- I'm about to be.

Oh, that's good!

Oh, that's good! Oh, my God!

You're very good, you know.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

- No. Oh.

- Breathe. Breathe. Breathe in.

Are you sure you're my wife?

What do you mean?

Because no wife should be

that good in the sack.

Is that what I look like?

Just one minute.

Peter.

- Britt, call a doctor, would you?

- Peter...

Send for the anaesthetist.

Just try to breathe, Peter.

Would you wait outside, Mrs Sellers?

It's gonna be fine. Please.

He's arrested.

- OK, let's charge to 120.

- 120.

Clear.

- No pulse.

- Come on.

...Peter Sellers,

fighting for his life in a California hospital.

Mr Sellers has suffered a serious setback.

His condition is said to be

grave and deteriorating.

No pulse.

Clear.

There you go.

Oh, God, Mother.

Mother, we've only been married for six weeks.

They don't know.

I don't know.

Damn! He's gone again.

- OK, charge to 180.

- 180.

Clear.

We have been informed

that his father also succumbed...

Having come to fame some years ago

as a member of The Goon Show...

Both channels.

- Clear.

- Still no pulse.

- Charge to 240.

- 240.

Clear.

Come on, Peter, come on.

Please do give my regards to your president.

And I thought I knew something about...

The Doomsday machine...

You've had a little too much...

It is essential that we do not have fear...

Perhaps a little...

I have no hesitation, categorically...

I don't care...

You've got enough on at the moment

without having any more piled on.

Tell the world.

- They mentioned something...

- On the one hand...

Watch out!

Comrades, the meeting is closed.

There will be ten females to every male.

- I'm out of here, mate.

- I think so.

...for the burmb.

- Oh, Mein Fhrer!

Oh, goodness me. I'm a man!

Yeah!

OK, we got him back.

Let's get an IV in.

Hello, children.

Can I have a little fairy kiss?

The spirits have spoken.

Daddy's come back from the dead.

And nothing can ever hurt him again.

Peter?

Peter?

Come on. Good boy.

Peter!

You're still weak.

This isn't taking care of yourself.

From now on there'll be

no more characters, no more costumes.

Starting next week,

the world's going to get

a look at the real Peter Sellers.

What's next week?

Who are you?

How did you get past my guards?

Good evening, darling.

My name is Bond. James Bond.

You know.

Aren't you going to do something... funny?

- Cut!

- First positions everyone!

How we doing, Pete?

Feel free to, er, improvise.

We're doing a spoof here, remember.

I'm playing it straight, as myself.

Like Cary Grant.

That's funny. Yeah.

That's... that's very good.

Yeah. Yeah. Satirical, yeah.

Good evening. My name's Bond.

James Bond.

My God, but you're lovely.

That was great!

Genius.

We meet again. I knew you wouldn't give up.

- Christ, Peter. When are you coming back?

- Wouldn't you like to know?

Seeing as we're three weeks

behind schedule, yeah, I would.

You know, Joe, I think today is not a lucky day.

Not lucky at all.

The voices are telling me not to risk it.

I hear voices, too, Peter!

And d'you know what they tell me?

They tell me that if you're not on the set

by this afternoon,

both your legs are gonna be broken!

I don't think we're hearing the same voices.

Peter, you wanker! Get back here! Now!

- Hello.

- Just answering nature's call.

I'm not feeling very well.

Darling, there are lots of other bathrooms

in the house.

That's not what I meant.

- What?

- I'm pregnant.

Oh, well,

I suppose you'll have to... you know.

What?

Well, have an abortion, sweetheart.

I'm sure it can be arranged.

No. I want this child.

I've got two already. Have one of mine.

Peter, I want to be a mother to our child.

I've always... given you room

for what you needed.

- Darling, is now the right time?

- Yes.

You are healthy.

We are in love.

Oh, Peter, let's have this baby.

- Bombs away.

- Plop.

Well, you hurry up.

And I'll go and call Mother.

Keep breathing, love.

The hospital's just up ahead...

I think.

All right, lads, give her some air.

Oh, we're fine, thank you.

- How d'you feel third time around?

- Ecstatic, absolutely thrilling.

You'll be fine. Just make it quick.

- We start filming in a week.

- Don't you worry, you'll be all right.

I'll take care of you now.

Goddammit!

Cut!

Take the f***ing baby

and get the hell off the set.

Please. She's fine now.

- Off!

- No.

My big scene is coming up.

Not any more.

Fine. You do it. Ciao.

- Yes.

- Is that my Peter?

Hello, Peg. What's the news from the front?

I'm in hospital.

It's the old heart, Peter.

Oh, well, we all know about that one, dear.

You'll be up in no time.

That's not what the doctors say.

They're trying to bump up their fee.

If they say you're dying, when you walk out

they can claim they saved your life.

Come home, love. I need to see you.

Nonsense, Peg.

All you need is a wash and brush-up

and you'll be as good as new.

No, it's not like that. Listen...

Just a minute.

Your boy's needed, Peg. You understand.

I'm a star now.

These people can't do a thing without me.

It's everything you ever wanted.

I love you, Peter.

I'll see you soon. We'll go to tea.

Peter?

See how strong he was.

Most men would have crumpled at,

"I love you, Peter."

But not my son.

He came through like a champion.

A star has an obligation to himself.

Family weighs you down.

You think he was cruel to me?

Of course he was.

That just means that he'd learnt his lesson.

There are no rungs for the weak

on the ladder of success.

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