The Man Who Came to Dinner Page #11

A fine Christmas morning.

Mrs. Stanley up there crying in her room,

Mr. Stanley in Chicago someplace.

Think he'll catch them in time

to stop the marriage?

I don't know, Sarah. Nobody knows

where Mr. Richard went.

Even Mr. Whiteside bit my head off

when I asked if he wanted breakfast.

Miss Cutler didn't take any.

What's the matter with everybody?

- Good morning. Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas, Mr. Whiteside.

Merry Christmas, John, Sarah.

- Has Miss Cutler come down yet?

- Not yet.

- Is she still in her room?

- Yes. Shall I call her?

- No, that's all. Thank you, John.

- Yes, sir.

You don't think it's all got something

to do with Mr. Whiteside, do you?

Mr. Whiteside? A lovely man like him?

No.

You can drop

that guilty expression, Sherry.

It's not a guilty expression.

I simply haven't had breakfast.

- Maggie, if you'd only listen to reason...

- I'm taking the 1:00 train. I'm leaving.

- You're doing nothing of the kind.

- Here are your keys and driver's license.

The key to the safety vault is

in your apartment in New York.

- I'm going in here to clear things up.

- Just a moment, Sarah Bernhardt.

Where were you until 3:00 this morning?

I sat up half the night worrying.

You heard me call when you

came in. Why didn't you answer?

Sherry, it's all over, and you won.

I don't want to talk about it.

Oh, come, come. What are you trying

to do, make me feel like a naughty boy?

Honestly, Maggie, sometimes

you can be very annoying.

Sherry, you're quite wonderful in a way.

You're annoyed.

I wish I had a laugh left in me.

Shall I tell you something, Sherry?

I think you're a selfish,

petty egomaniac...

...who would just as soon see

his mother burning at a stake...

...if that was the only way

he had to light a cigarette.

I think you'd sacrifice your best friend

without a moment's hesitation...

...if he interrupted the sacred ritual

of your self-centered, paltry little life.

I think you're incapable of any emotion

higher up than your stomach.

And I was the fool of the world

for trusting you.

Well. As long as I live, I'll never

do anyone a good turn again.

I shan't ask you to apologize. Six months

from now, you'll be thanking me.

Sherry, in six months' time,

I'll be so far away from you that...

Hello, hello. Merry Christmas,

everybody. Merry Christmas.

I'm a little high, but I can explain.

Hiya, Maggie. Hiya, Mr. Whiteside.

Shake hands with

a successful playwright.

Maggie, why did you run away

last night? Where were you?

Miss Sheldon thinks the play is

wonderful. I read her the play...

...she thinks it's wonderful.

Isn't that wonderful?

- That's fine, Bert.

- Isn't that wonderful, Mr. Whiteside?

I think you ought to go home,

don't you?

What? No. Biggest day of my life.

I know I'm a little drunk,

but this is a big day.

We've been sitting over in

Billy's tavern all night long.

Miss Sheldon thinks the play needs

a little fixing. Do it in three weeks.

She's gonna take me to Lake Placid.

We're gonna work together.

Isn't that wonderful?

Why don't you say something?

I suggest you tell us about this later.

Now I think you ought to go home.

Excuse me. Merry Christmas, everybody.

Merry Christmas. I thought that perhaps...

Would you do me a favor? Mr. Jefferson

would like coffee and breakfast.

- Would you take care of him, please?

- Of course.

Dr. Bradley, I want to buy breakfast for

you. The biggest breakfast you ever had.

- I know what we'll do, doctor.

- Yes, come along.

Let's climb down chimneys.

I got a friend

that doesn't believe in Santa.

Let's climb down his chimney

and scare the pants off of him.

Look. I'm willing to forgive your tawdry

outburst and talk about this calmly...

Oh, Sherry, I love him so terribly.

Why did you do it? Why did you do it?

Merry Christmas, Mr. Whiteside.

Merry Christmas, Miss Stanley.

I'm afraid I shouldn't be seen talking

to you. My brother is terribly angry.

But I couldn't resist asking.

Did you like my Christmas present?

I'm terribly sorry, Miss Stanley,

I haven't opened it yet.

Well, I haven't opened

any of my presents yet.

Oh, dear, I was so anxious to...

Why, it's right here, Mr. Whiteside.

Won't you open it now?

I appreciated your thinking of me

this way, Miss Stanley.

It was very thoughtful of you.

Why, it's lovely.

I'm very fond of these old

photographs. Thank you very much.

I was 22 when that was taken.

That was my favorite dress.

- Do you really like it?

- I do indeed.

When I get back to town,

I shall send you a gift.

Will you? Oh, thank you,

Mr. Whiteside. I shall treasure it...

Well, I shall be late for church.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Sarah's got a little surprise for you.

She's just taking it out of the oven.

Oh, thank you, John.

What is it about that woman?

Miss Preen.

- Miss Preen!

- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Miss Preen, where do you

hide yourself all the time?

Mr. Whiteside, I can only be

in one place at a time.

That's very fortunate

for this community.

Now, go and answer the door.

John's gone upstairs.

Go on!

My beautiful one!

You're gorgeous. You're beautiful.

- Put me down, do you hear?

- I love you madly.

- Madly. Do you hear what I said?

- Put me down!

- Kiss me!

- Don't you dare kiss me. I'll scream!

Don't be afraid of my hot

Spanish blood. Kiss me!

I can feel the blood pounding

through your varicose veins.

- Banjo.

- Whiteside.

Will you sign for this package, please?

Put that woman down. That's

my nurse, you mental delinquent.

Come to my room in a half-hour.

And bring some rye bread.

Really. Mr. Whiteside!

Whiteside, I'm here

to spend Christmas with you.

I think. I may stay a month,

or I may leave immediately.

I don't know. Things are so uncertain.

Oh, will you shut up,

you reform-school fugitive.

Whiteside, I loves you, I loves you.

- How'd you get here anyway?

- Santa Claus loaned me his reindeer.

Whiteside, we finished shooting

a picture yesterday, so, what did I do?

I borrowed the B-19 from the Army,

and I'm on my way to Nova Scotia.

I brought you a wonderful present.

This sweater was once worn

by Lana Turner. Try it on for size.

- How long can you stay?

- Just long enough to take a bath.

I'm on my way to Nova Scotia.

Where's Maggie?

Nova Scotia. What are you

going to Nova Scotia for?

I'm sick of Hollywood, and there's

a dame in New York I don't wanna see.

So I figured I'd go to Nova Scotia

and get some smoked salmon.

Now, where the devil's Maggie? I wanna

see her. What's the matter with you?

Where is she?

Bum Bums.

Banjo, I'm glad you're here.

I'm very annoyed at Maggie, very.

Why? What's the matter?

What is this? I thought

you couldn't walk.

I've been all right for weeks.

I'm furious at Maggie.

She turned on me like a viper.

You know how fond I am of her.

She's repaying my affections

by behaving like a fishwife.

- What are you talking about?

- I never believed she loved him.

Loved who? I just got here.

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