The Man Who Knew Too Little Page #6

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This is serious.

It's very raw, very...

No, no, no, no. It's real. It's so real.

Freeze!

Put your hands in the air!

I'm glad you came.

I think you're gonna like it.

You missed!

You missed again!

Not by much, though!

Cut! Hold it! Hold it. Time out.

Time out!

I got something in my eye, jag-off!

Stop it! Oh, God!

Guys!

Let's not think of my safety!

I'm flying!

I guess I got the drop

on Dr. Ludmilla Kropotkin.

Get that thing away from

that little boy's butt! Drop it!

You all right, son?

Yes, thanks.

...for him, hour after hour I just wait.

Of course, he...

I would like Lori's three million,

please, or...

...Dr. Ludmilla Kropotkin will die.

But I am Dr. Ludmilla Kropotkin.

Keep back. He's dangerous.

He might have bomb.

Plan B, then.

Lobby, please.

I'll just get her letters for her, then.

All right, even he cannot penetrate

ballroom for letters.

Help! I'm being abducted. You've got to...

Oh, you're together.

- He's the brother.

- Good. Take him to bowels of hotel.

I go after the brother.

One false move and the doctor will get

a taste of her own medicine.

Relax, we're actors.

Oh, please, I'm not a doctor.

I'm a manicurist.

It's our anniversary.

Yeah, I'd like to believe that...

...from one of the most dangerous women

in the world.

I suppose you were involved with

that business in Helsinki with Ponsonby.

Did you get your kicks, Doctor?

We were just having a little fun.

You had your fun.

And he got his head sent home

in a freezer bag.

The key is really to listen...

...to feel it and then...

...respond as if it were really happening.

You can do it. Break a leg.

Help, please! She's a killer!

- Please.

- She's dead.

What's wrong?

It's our anniversary.

- We are kidding.

- We are only acting.

- What?

- Just acting.

Wait.

- You can't go without a security pass.

- Russian Secret Service.

I need to see your pass.

Happy now?

Excuse me!

Excuse me! Hello, hello.

No pass, no entry, I'm afraid.

I'm looking for a tall American.

Aren't we all, dear. But we've got a show

to put on, in case you didn't notice.

Thank you.

You can wait outside.

Can we have all these swans together?

Thank you.

And you'd be Mr. Nikolai, I presume.

Would you get into the rest

of the costume?

I'm not supposed to be in costume.

- We are performing tonight, aren't we?

- Yeah...

Then get with it!

You go before the public in two minutes.

I'm not ready for that.

My brother said I wouldn't have to...

Spare me the prima donna act.

It's really not the time.

Nikolai's come in from the cold, everyone.

On stage, please.

We know you and your German friends

are financing all operation.

Your brother told us.

I'm a banker. I'm mortgaged to the hilt.

I can't finance anything.

The longer you keep me here,

the less I'm worth.

Let's have a little fun with electricity,

shall we?

My lords, ladies and gentlemen...

...the Baltic dancers from Russia

will perform a dance...

...symbolizing man's growth

from infancy to adulthood.

Good God!

Where's Lori's letters?

May I?

Lori wants her letters back.

Boris, come quickly.

Okay, I bring dart gun.

Then it's curtains for Spenser.

Spineless little sh*t.

I'm very late.

I lost my ticket, but I'm a close friend

of the minister of defense.

And my mom knows the queen of Sheba.

Maybe we should get out while we can.

Perhaps he could bring money.

Here, get Rasputin's money now.

How can we tell which doll is which?

Only he can.

It's his plan.

He's open!

Let's get out of here.

Where're you guys going?

Here comes Hawkins

with your money, now.

Great. I wish my brother could be here.

He's missing everything.

Here's the stuff.

You idiot, go and get the brother, now!

Please don't go anywhere.

I want to talk to you both after the show.

Oh, my God.

Stop! Don't torture him...

...or his brother will kill us all!

The man is a god.

I finish this man to man.

He has disabled bomb.

Hold it right there, you two.

What did you think of the show?

Here's the cash. You can count it all now.

Thank you very much.

Two bags' worth.

Where's Lori?

Do you know if she saw the show?

I got her money. She'll like it.

- Love the hat.

- Thank you. Thank you very much.

Can you keep a secret?

I'm taking this souvenir of my day.

This has been a total hoot.

I'm afraid he's a little groggy,

but he's fine.

Wally.

Welcome back, stranger.

Here, take a load off.

- Can I get you some tea?

- Please.

One lump or two?

No lumps.

What have you been doing?

I was tortured.

- Great. Did they make it fun?

- What?

You know what they're signing?

The death knell of our dreams.

We'll have to settle for half.

Ready?

Ready.

Did you see what I did?

In front of all these people, I had a solo.

I had the entire crowd

eating out of my hand.

Is that what you were wearing?

Maybe they made a tape.

I'm so proud of you.

I want to be just like you, Wally.

When I was back in that room,

I thought I was going to die.

My life passed before my eyes and

I realized I cared about the wrong things.

I've cared about money and success

and getting to the top.

Prestige and...

At the end of the day...

There's a big guy standing behind you.

Yeah, well...

...maybe you'll feel better

if you could see this tape.

Really behind me?

You're everywhere.

This one is for you...

...buddy.

Bang.

Is joke.

Look.

"From KGB to Boris...

"...fastest gun in the east."

But there can only be one fastest gun.

And now, it's you.

I salute you.

Doreen and me, we go open butcher shop.

But you will always be my brother.

Oh, look!

What? What's the matter?

There's nothing in here but silly money.

What were you looking for?

I lost my souvenir doll.

You really don't care

about money at all, do you?

It's not real.

The doll was beautiful.

How's this for a souvenir?

Roger, you don't suppose maybe doll...?

Don't be daft.

This is the one he picked for himself.

Terrible-looking thing.

Her stomach looks like her ass.

Is her ass, you idiot. Give it to me.

There.

That was like an explosion.

Want to try again?

Do you have insurance?

Did you see this? We were right there.

We could've been killed.

It says this mystery guy...

...was equal parts

"brilliant cunning and sheer testosterone."

They were right about the second part.

Time out.

All right, drink man.

Now.

Compliments of the house.

Oh, my gosh.

You people are so nice.

Do you eat the flower?

I'm sorry. In the nose, too.

That's the worst. Here, get a towel.

Did that make contact?

Oh my gosh!

Gesundheit myself.

- You okay?

- Yeah, just another Old Spice guy.

Impressive performance, Mr. Spenser.

Sorry about the test,

but we did have to be sure.

Only one candidate in a thousand

even detects Amazonian arafrog toxin...

...much less incapacitates the messenger.

And it's rare that we even approach

a candidate...

...until we've auditioned him

for 12 or 18 months, but the other night...

We witnessed the birth of a superstar.

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